Question for separated couples with children

saveallmymoney

With Me: Tuesday, Thursday, every other Fri / Sat / Sun
With Ex: Mon, Wed, every other Fri / Sat / Sun

We are flexible about swapping around when we have something we can't avoid, a co-parent is a very handy resource to have!

Hattifattener_2

For the last 12 years my son has spent 1 week at his Dad's followed by 1 week with me, repeat ad infinitum. Holidays, work commitments and anything else that might disrupt the pattern are by agreement. Since our son started high school we also agreed that ex would take him to school each day and I would collect him and that way we both get to see him more often.

Over time the ex and I have worked hard at being civil to each other and we actually get on really well nowadays. All we both want is for our son to be as happy as the situation allows and it's that desire which has driven all our negotiations.

Floss

Hattifattener wrote: »

Over time the ex and I have worked hard at being civil to each other and we actually get on really well nowadays. All we both want is for our son to be as happy as the situation allows and it's that desire which has driven all our negotiations.

That is what every parent wants, and I'm sorry to say that not as many actually achieve.

You should both be very proud of what you have been able to do to support your son.

I am quite envious - to get that relationship with an ex-partner needs both of you to be willing to put the effort in, and I did not have the ex-partner's willingness to make the balanced results that you have feasible.

kittykat100

We have my step children every Tues/Thursday and every other Fri/Sat/Sun
We also have them for half the holidays.
We split Christmas where the kids spend Xmas Eve and Xmas morning with one parent then Xmas Lunch through Boxing Day then every other New Years Eve.

Kittyx

owsaboutthatthen

Thanks everyone for your replies. I will now broach my ex, and see if he is agreeable to my access proposal! Here's hoping.

looktothefuture

We have my SS every Friday to Sunday, half the holidays and split special days over the year!

Obviously all other arrangements are made as and when but usually works quite well!

[Deleted User]

when i separated and divorced my ex husband 13 years ago my children were 8 and 10. He only had them on a sunday between 9.30am and 5pm, boxing day and occasionally during the week, and i mean occassionally. They very rarely stayed over and never once went on a holiday with him, and im not joking either!! Even tho this was his loss at the time, time took its time as they say and he realised his mistake and now at 22 and 20 they both see him regularly. I found that although it was hard for me at the time there wasnt much i could do to force him to have them and i just got on with my life.

balijay

My children (6 and 10) generally get picked up by their dad and go for tea once a week and occasionally go for a couple of hours at the weekend. They only ever sleep over once in a blue moon. I believe they should see him more (he only lives 2 minutes up the road) but I don't force the issue as I don't want my ex to get funny re: the maintenace he pays me! (I also miss them when they are not here! ) I do resent the fact that I am made to feel like ex is doing me a favour when he looks after them :mad: Ridiculous, I know... As a rule though I get on well with my ex and want to keep it that way for the sake of our children.

jinky67

My two have always gone to respective parents at weekends and odd days here and there, we are all very flexible when it comes to the kids and I fail to understand why some people make it difficult.
DD's Dad comes to see her every night though

chocdonuty

My dd sees her dad about 3 times a year, mainly due to him being disabled and living a long way away but then she does stay for longer periods, last time was for 10 days!
Tbh the less i see of him the better. On the other hand I don't always know what she's up to whilst she's there but theres not a great deal I can do about it, being so far away.