Help scared and worried

kissjenn

SnS...genuine question about OH's £75k surprise debt.

Where did you think the money for the £53k in cars had come from? Did you think it was savings he had, a bonus from work, present from parents? You obviously know the value of these so they must have been explained away to you somehow for the HP agreements to come as a shock.

wheretheresawill

SkintNScared wrote: »

No PPI on the gym membership or golf club I'm afraid. I don't even think that was an option. Hubby has 9 months left to go on his membership.

Didn't see anything I liked for less than £1,200. There were a few things around the £1,000 region but probably not big enough for us.

I can't really not have my hair cut! It would go wild. I don't think I could get it much cheaper than £70 or if it was a little bit lower it wouldn't be really worth it?

Car wise, surely anything not new or nearly new will just cost a lot of money to repair when it goes wrong making it no cheaper than a new car??? The smallest decent car new will be about £10k which is not a lot in car terms, especially compared to what we have now.

I'm not being mean but you're living in cloud cuckoo land and you are soon going to find how hard it is to live on £63.50 a week, get a £500 car to run around in, haircuts are a defo no no, unless you don't want to eat or have heating that week. I run around in a car thats done 170k miles, starts first time, no trouble. You need to start living in the real world:rotfl:

Verbatim

WOW

I probably have a problem in worrying unnecessarily, the absolute opposite to this lady.
We go from feast to famine. We have a large house and own other property too, including a holiday cottage, rented out to visitors whenever possible. Daughter went to a private school but our income is not guaranteed, husband has no work periodically and property has void periods. Although we have far more than most in terms of income and capital I WORRIED when our income fell after refurbishing our house for which we remortaged, spent £35k of savings and put what I could on 0% ccs.

These ccs were all balance transfered over and over and I paid no interest on them or BT fees. Even though I had other "long term" savings, investments and pensions I did not want to risk those and preferred to take students for a year which paid my daughter's school fees. I happily buy value/basics ranges for many items and we cook from scratch. Don't understand why people pay more for the packaging which will be binned anyway. Or perhaps I do. Maybe it's because they care about what it looks like. I am also older than many here (50s) and know that we have more security than most so perhaps care less what people think. I enjoyed the challenge of feeding up to 7 adults on as little as possible but healthily and with second helpings for those who wanted them. Our car is 10 years old and valueless (although bought new) but we don't care what anyone thinks about that. If we have the money in current income we eat out expensively and frequently, go to the theatre, opera and concerts and if we haven't we don't. I would never run up cc debt again, even on a 0% deal and never had before, always repaying in full at the end of the month. I was so lucky to finish paying it off before all the 0% deals ended. I was finding it harder to get deals by the end too.

I have never given so much info out on here before fearing to sound insensitive, but I wanted to make the point that we are, apparently, in the 5% of highest earners but wouldn't dream of continuing with any but essential expenditure at times when we know we have lower income. I prefer to save when times are good. In case I am coming over as mean we are generous to our friends in terms of meals and parties here and weekends away.

I hope the poster 's husband finds another well paid job very soon

I hope this won't offend anyone as I know how hard people work and struggle to meet their committments. I don't want to gloat, just point out that it is perfectly possible to adjust lifestyles to meet current circumstances. We do it all the time.

BeautyandtheBeast_3

Thanks Verbatim - that post was a real ' i can do this' moment for me personally.

Verbatim

Thanks for that Beauty........I very nearly didn't press the reply button! Thought I'd have to return to lurkdom.

Have you got a diary? I'll have a look.

GeorgeUK

Good post there Verbatim - thanks.

I think it shows that debts are all about balance.
You need to weigh up what you need against what you want and adjust your spending to suit your situation at the time (while building a buffer with savings if you can).

Good to know there are a few sensible folk in here to keep us right

RAS

Excellent post Verbatim. Thanks for the directness of it.

I remember one of Conran's wives being asked how she could write a book on living cheaply when she was the partner of a multi-millionaire.

Her response was that people are multi-millionaires on paper. In reality they have multi-million pound debts, are staving off business closure and their wives trying to demonstrate the "appropriate" standard of living when there is actually little cash to be had. When times were lean, knowing how to budget and scrimp was much appreciated by millionaires.

Katie-Kat-Kins

Skintnscared you have to realise that you don't actually own those cars, they aren't paid for, you never had the money for them. It was all an illusion. Let go.

Better to own a £500 unglam little run around than drive round in a flash prestige motor that could be repossessed from under you !!!!! any minute.

The same with everything else, you haven't earned or paid for half of it, the people who own it are the credit card companies and banks.

You need to start to think about the pleasure of buying something you have saved hard for, thought about, researched the best deal, desired waited for and eventually bought.

You need to accept that your former life is over, you can't live like a footballer's wife anymore. But the alternative isn't that bad, value beans from lidl are fine, they just have a different label on the front. The little independant hardresser round the corner can probably do a perfectly nice cut for a tenth what you were used to with even better more personal service.

You need to find new pleasures.

Read the various threads on here and see the elation people experience when they have acheived a goal, paid off a debt, stretched their budget etc. That is what you should be aiming for.

While you are focussing your efforts on getting yourselves out of this mess you will learn so much more about yourselves, hopefully you will learn how and why you got into such a mess, and how as husband and wife you felt the need to lie to eachother and mislead eachother about your finances. You will grow stronger through all this and ultimitely be happier too, but it takes a readjustment of priorities.

Good Luck and do post an amended SoA when you havegone through the figures on here, the regulars love to be able to follow a story, (worriedjim's thread made him almost a celebrity!) so keep on adding to this thread so we can all help you on your journey.

x x

johnmc

I read through all this carefully and feel VERY sorry for the OP.

Even if your OH gets a decent job immediately you are still looking at a 50% cut in your income.

I know it's only small change but look at Quidco / Topcashback. I have been PAID for insuring my house and contents since finding this site. My car insurance was nearly £400 renewal, but I paid less than £100 fully comp following Martin's advise.

On the subject of cars, you can get a small run around for £5k BRAND NEW or a better spec car second hand for £2k. Both get you there and the £2k car is probably better for interviews. He's got loads of time to touch it up and polish it.

Use the internet sites to finesse your power & gas costs.

Cut out the hairdressers. Sorry, you may have noticed a theme but NONEONE on here will agree that is a reasonable expense at the moment.

See if the original vender of the cars will take them back and either then you can either bear the cost or exchange for a cheaper 2nd hand model.

Sell ANYTHING you can. Ebay is addictive and you will enjoy the thrill of the chase.

Food; I've just checked my accounts, I paid £64 for the monthly shop for three adults (a few top ups over the month, say an extra £20) and I am WAY overweight, so it is possible to eat well on a budget. You've got the time now, so don't be afraid to hang around the reduced price isle at the end of trading and JS are not the only supermarket out there.

Plan your meals and research where to buy each product at the best price. Down grading isn't always the cheapest option (Bramston beans at Lidl are 25p per can in lots of 8 - how much in JS?).

Take a look at the holiday. If you decide to go you will still need spending money. Can you cancel it? Will they let you sell it? Ebay have a few from time to time, so it is possible.

Would you rather use a treadmill than enjoy the nice fresh country air? Ditch the gym.

Golf is an expensive walk in the countryside ruined by having to look for the ball. Ditch it and get him walking with you.

Good luck and well done for recognising the mess at this stage!

LeeSouthEast

When you're back on your feet and still want a 'new' car, consider an ex-demonstrator. This will be my next route. A 'new' car, few hundred on the clock, and 40% less expensive than buying it off the forecourt.