Help scared and worried

ferox666

Being "frugal" and "only" spending £5,000 a month?

With no income and already up to your eyeballs in debt?

And a cheap "banger" at another £5,000?

Sorry, but what planet are you living on?

Your imaginary fantasy lifestyle is gone, FINISHED, over. You can't afford it. Even on your high salaries you were living beyond your means. With the kind of money you's were earning you had the real chance to make yourself financially secure for the rest of your lives. Instead, you've "p!ssed it all up the wall", wasted it; and now having nothing. The sad thing is you still don't seem to realise it and want to continue digging a deeper hole.

Sorry if it sounds harsh but I have absolutely no sympathy for you anymore. People here have spent time giving you advice but you obviously prefer to keep your head buried in the sand. Oh well, your loss.

SkintNScared_2

Wow, lots of posts... too many questions and statements for me to address but will say this

I realise we have been living beyond our means, but unless you have been in the same situation as us it is probably difficult to contend with the thought. We were earning good money in good jobs and had a very enjoyable lifestyle (beyond our means, yes, but I didnt realise this until hubby told me how much he was in debt by, I didn't realise the cars were on HP nor did I realise he had a large CC balance) although I am just as guilty, as I have a large CC balance and storecards too.

I very much appreciate the comments and help/suggestions offered. So far, we've managed to cut down the monthly expenditure by nearly £2k based on your suggestions alone - I AM listening. What you need to understand is that it is almost impossible to accept coming from a lifestyle of big houses, top of the range cars, eating out 3 times a week. having exotic holidays, and not really giving much thought to money to one where we will be in a one bedroom flat, claiming jobseekers, no holidays, no money and a ropey £500 car. I know we need to change, but it is hard to comprehend in the space of 24 hours and it doesn't feel real.

Hubby works in a very specialised field so fingers crossed he will be OK job wise, he has already had a few leads from the recruiters today so fingers crossed. My line of work was less specialised and harder to find employment in at the moment.

This isn't a wind up. I wish it was!! Sorry if my comments offended anyone, but *to me* £5k for a car IS cheap, I'm used to spending 5/10 x that when we decide to change.

Oh.. and I spent £55 in Sainsbury's, nearly half what I usually do.

strumpet

I have just read this thread from start to finish and I am gobsmacked.

I really cannot think of anything to say!

BeautyandtheBeast_3

SkintNScared wrote: »

Wow, lots of posts... too many questions and statements for me to address but will say this

I realise we have been living beyond our means, but unless you have been in the same situation as us it is probably difficult to contend with the thought. We were earning good money in good jobs and had a very enjoyable lifestyle (beyond our means, yes, but I didnt realise this until hubby told me how much he was in debt by, I didn't realise the cars were on HP nor did I realise he had a large CC balance) although I am just as guilty, as I have a large CC balance and storecards too.

I very much appreciate the comments and help/suggestions offered. So far, we've managed to cut down the monthly expenditure by nearly £2k based on your suggestions alone - I AM listening. What you need to understand is that it is almost impossible to accept coming from a lifestyle of big houses, top of the range cars, eating out 3 times a week. having exotic holidays, and not really giving much thought to money to one where we will be in a one bedroom flat, claiming jobseekers, no holidays, no money and a ropey £500 car. I know we need to change, but it is hard to comprehend in the space of 24 hours and it doesn't feel real.

Hubby works in a very specialised field so fingers crossed he will be OK job wise, he has already had a few leads from the recruiters today so fingers crossed. My line of work was less specialised and harder to find employment in at the moment.

This isn't a wind up. I wish it was!! Sorry if my comments offended anyone, but *to me* £5k for a car IS cheap, I'm used to spending 5/10 x that when we decide to change.

Oh.. and I spent £55 in Sainsbury's, nearly half what I usually do.

What you NEED to understand is YOU HAVE NO INCOME! Until you get back on your feet (which i hope is very soon) you HAVE to ACCEPT this. If you arent prepared to listen and act on peoples advice then why bother to ask. Im sure its a come down for you - but one that you as a couple have created and you need to act to stop it getting worse.

spuddy1

I'm not reading anymore, this woman hasn't got a scooby!!!!!

BeautyandtheBeast_3

p.s - i would love to be able to buy a £5k car and to me thats a lot of metal for a piece of metal that drinks money and is only a method of transport from A to B. My current car isnt worth 5k at all but its there for a purpose not a status symbol.

sarahs999

I will say one thing for you Skint. You've handled the increasing rage on here very deftly without getting defensive. You aren't a lawyer, by any chance, are you?

JAMIEDODGER

SkintNScared wrote: »

I AM listening. What you need to understand is that it is almost impossible to accept coming from a lifestyle of big houses, top of the range cars, eating out 3 times a week. having exotic holidays, and not really giving much thought to money to one where we will be in a one bedroom flat, claiming jobseekers, no holidays, no money and a ropey £500 car. I know we need to change, but it is hard to comprehend in the space of 24 hours and it doesn't feel real.

I think what you need is a little more time to let things sink in. What has your husband said about all this and the debt that he didnt tell you about? Is he onboard to sort the mess out?

Please, please do not borrow that money from your friend. It is a disaster waiting to happen.

I know there has been a lot of tough love on this thread today, but please stay and listen to the advice you have been given. DFW is the best place to be when you want to get out of money trouble and we have all been there before.

I hope you and your husband find new jobs quickly this will make things much easier. but even if you do, you both will need to still take a long hard look and how you have been living.

You must have plenty of things you can start selling on ebay etc. this wont make a huge impact but will be something PROactive.

Hugs and good luck

BeautyandtheBeast_3

p.s Ebaying is very addictive once you start. :-)

LittleMissAspie

SkintNScared wrote: »

This isn't a wind up.

Okay, I wasn't sure whether to bother posting but I was going to say that perhaps you could transfer your golf and gym memberships to someone else. I know that gyms sometimes let you do that.

SkintNScared wrote: »

but *to me* £5k for a car IS cheap, I'm used to spending 5/10 x that when we decide to change.

Well you are about to now learn the value of money, which is a good thing. You are bound to get people's backs up when you call a £5,000 car an old banger. People work hard and save hard to buy perfectly good cars for half that.

Please do not borrow money from your friend. Borrowing more will not help you in the long run and it sounds to me like your friend will not get his money back, which could cause all sorts of extra problems. Furthermore you can't rely on your house selling quickly, it could take months to find a buyer.

I think you need to implement all the advice on this thread, your husband's redundancy money could last you 5 months including paying your mortgage and loans. By then you will both hopefully be in work and selling your house. You can then work out another SLIGHTLY less strict budget and pay your loans back.

There is so much advice on this site on how to pay less for things. Take an item (insurance, groceries, internet, utility bill, anything) and read as much as you can about to get that item for the cheapest possible. Work through all your essential outgoings one at a time. If it's not essential, don't buy it. Will you die without it? No, so leave it and think about something else instead.