Sexual Intimidation In the Workplace - how to deal with it?

RoxieW

I had this problem when I was 17 and a receptionist. unfortunately i was too young/naive/cowardly/timid to do anything about it. One of my big regrets. Get your daughter to nip it in the bud tomorrow.

pinksleepybear

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Yeah, because she will have sooo much self respect if she cannot bring herself to do anything and gets more seriously attacked. Good to know that you would pretend it wasn't happening to my daughter, for example, in your place of work, as it is so character forming.


PS Sorry, didn't realise your main experience of children/young adults is limited to complaining about the washing up. You don't understand. I am sure anyone would forgive you your ignorance.

Gosh, you're very angry and bitter at me already. Do you understand that my having a different opinion to you doesn't mean that I'm ignorant?

If I saw it happening in my workplace, I would intervene. I wouldn't threaten violence and I wouldn't bring my mum in to have her say. It just isn't professional. Anyone who does that just isn't functioning as an adult.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

But if you were to intervene, surely you're disagreeing with your first implication that the girl does not deserve to be respected if she can't deal with it herself? And ignorance is a descriptive term for not having knowledge of a situation - if you are not a mother, you can't have knowledge of what it is to be a mother - hence, the phrase, ignorance.

Maybe the boss is thinks that the OP's daughter needs to 'function as an adult', in which case, she needs to be put straight and, if the OP's daughter is unable to do this, someone else has to - you contradicted yourself in saying in your subsequent post that you would intervene.

You effectively placed blame upon the victim of a sexual crime for being weak and vulnerable. It suggests that she is implicitly allowing the abuse to happen.

Not acceptable. Any more than telling another poster that she dressed like a tart.

ailuro2

http://www.acas.org.uk/CHttpHandler.ashx?id=306&p=0

She could download this and put it up on the noticeboard at work - it is free to download.

Or hand a copy to each employee and tell them it's because she gets nowhere with the boss but it feeling harassed, they may agree with her and decide to gang up on the boss - who knows who else he is harassing. Unity is strength in these situations - the boss can lose a big bunch pf women and be sued for constructive dismissal, or ask the IT boy to shape up or ship out.;)

pinksleepybear

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

But if you were to intervene, surely you're disagreeing with your first implication that the girl does not deserve to be respected if she can't deal with it herself? And ignorance is a descriptive term for not having knowledge of a situation - if you are not a mother, you can't have knowledge of what it is to be a mother - hence, the phrase, ignorance.

Maybe the boss is thinks that the OP's daughter needs to 'function as an adult', in which case, she needs to be put straight and, if the OP's daughter is unable to do this, someone else has to - you contradicted yourself in saying in your subsequent post that you would intervene.

You effectively placed blame upon the victim of a sexual crime for being weak and vulnerable. It suggests that she is implicitly allowing the abuse to happen.

Not acceptable. Any more than telling another poster that she dressed like a tart.

Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawman, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem

londoner1998

pinksleepybear wrote: »

Fully agree with beaniebabe - no threats of violence, no intervening family members, so demeaning comments back at him.

Right, this brings flashbacks... I too got the 'how are you today?' I'm very well, thank you ' I can SEE that you are very well indeed' (while staring at my breasts :eek:... or 'those look bigger every day'- I didn't make anything out of those comments at the time becasue I thought e had a good , realxed working relationship, although I wanted to die of embarrassment at the time. On a business trip, while returning and while completely !!!!ed, he tried to hold me and grab my hand as soon as our two colleague left the station. Very politely I said to him he needed to get a taxi and get himself home. A couple of months later, and after being very badly adviced by him, I landed trouble with his superior. They called a meeting where they butchered me and during which he shouted at me. I asked him not to address me in such a manner or raise his voice at me. His boss apologised on his behalf 'he doesn't mean it ', she said. Getting out of the meeting he wispered in my ear to 'be quiet or else... ' Now, that was it for me. By that time I really had had enough of wlaking over egg shells. I had to take sick leave becasue I couldn't sleep and every day I went to work in tears. I contacted HR and asked to speak to an advisor. They took it extremely seriously. They escalated. They called a meeting with my boss' boss (Head of the department) I said exactly the words he used and what had happened. They asked me what did I want to happen next. I said nothing, just this behaviour to stop. In two week she was out of the corporation after 15 years there. Like that, 3 months notice and out.And I didn;t even have to mention how he reekedof alcohol after lunch, because they already knew this but ignored it. His boss got a very seious ticking off for not dealing with situation and stopping it escalating.

So: she should take a note of the date, time, comments (literal words), situation and how it made her feel. Tell this person quiely and clearly that these remarks ar not approrpaite or welcome. Go to a superior and if no joy, escalate and get HR involved. I agree she should never be unprofessional or rude to this person, as tempting as it is. They can twist and turn things to make it look you are the guilty one.