Advice Needed - Neighbours

BeenieCat

I think they'll outright deny it, and you'll appear to see no benefit of reporting them to the police - BUT i think behind the scenes it will help you greatly, as i think they'll now think twice about messing with you or your car again.

Do not let them know you are worried about them - i know for a fact that will just encourage them so it's better to nip it in the bud now before they carry on. Hopefully after the police have had a word they'll move onto someone else.

Bogof_Babe

Don't do anything about replacing the ball, and if they harass you about it just say it will have to wait as some !!!!!! scratched your car and it will take every spare penny you have to get it fixed. Then watch for their reaction.

ceridwen

Hmmm....well I can sorta see both sides here....

You dont know for sure and certain whether it was the neighbour that scratched your car - I would think there was a reasonable possibility that it WAS them - but you have no way of knowing for sure even in your own mind.

I do have to say that if any of my property inadvertently found itself outsidemy "boundaries" - for whatever reason and whatever that property was - that I would expect it back again in one piece and at the same quality as it was in the first place. It IS my choice whether I have decided to buy a particularly expensive example of something (be it a ball or otherwise) and I expect other people to accept that I am entitled to hold onto my property/and at the same quality. Personally - I wouldnt accept a "dogs will be dogs" or, come to think of it "kids will be kids" argument - if damage had been caused to my property. I would expect a like for like replacement regardless. So - I do sympathise/agree with your neighbour expecting to have his ball (or an equivalent) back again - as I would too.
I think its perfectly reasonable to expect people to accept responsibility not just for their own actions - but for those of their pets/children/anyone else that is their responsibility.

Having said that - if it was him that scratched your car - then he shouldnt have done that.

I think - as things stand at present - that it would be best to give him the "benefit of the doubt" as to whether it was him that damaged your car and buy him an equivalent ball. That should then, hopefully, be the end of the matter.

Whether it was or wasnt him that scratched the car - one does need to remember that sometimes people do things in a "fit of temper" if they havent had an appropriate response back (ie in this case - a promise to buy an equivalent ball for them) that they wouldnt do even an hour later when they have calmed down a bit.

People DO sometimes lose their temper temporarily if they havent had an appropriate/fair response back to a complaint they have had to make - and do things that they wouldnt do just that short time later. If that happens - then it IS the fault of the person who caused them to lose their temper in the first place.

Sorry to have to play devils advocate here - but this is how many of us would see an incident like this - so its just as well OP knows that many people honestly would expect their expensive ball back.

janninew

ceridwen wrote: »

Hmmm....well I can sorta see both sides here....

You dont know for sure and certain whether it was the neighbour that scratched your car - I would think there was a reasonable possibility that it WAS them - but you have no way of knowing for sure even in your own mind.

I do have to say that if any of my property inadvertently found itself outsidemy "boundaries" - for whatever reason and whatever that property was - that I would expect it back again in one piece and at the same quality as it was in the first place. It IS my choice whether I have decided to buy a particularly expensive example of something (be it a ball or otherwise) and I expect other people to accept that I am entitled to hold onto my property/and at the same quality. Personally - I wouldnt accept a "dogs will be dogs" or, come to think of it "kids will be kids" argument - if damage had been caused to my property. I would expect a like for like replacement regardless. So - I do sympathise/agree with your neighbour expecting to have his ball (or an equivalent) back again - as I would too.
I think its perfectly reasonable to expect people to accept responsibility not just for their own actions - but for those of their pets/children/anyone else that is their responsibility.

Having said that - if it was him that scratched your car - then he shouldnt have done that.

I think - as things stand at present - that it would be best to give him the "benefit of the doubt" as to whether it was him that damaged your car and buy him an equivalent ball. That should then, hopefully, be the end of the matter.

Whether it was or wasnt him that scratched the car - one does need to remember that sometimes people do things in a "fit of temper" if they havent had an appropriate response back (ie in this case - a promise to buy an equivalent ball for them) that they wouldnt do even an hour later when they have calmed down a bit.

People DO sometimes lose their temper temporarily if they havent had an appropriate/fair response back to a complaint they have had to make - and do things that they wouldnt do just that short time later. If that happens - then it IS the fault of the person who caused them to lose their temper in the first place. Sorry but i feel that is quite an unfair thing to say, are you blaming me for him losing his temper? I said i would think about buying him a new ball and that twenty pounds was alot for a ball. He was talking to me in an agressive tone and the ball ended up in my garden through no fault of mine!

Sorry to have to play devils advocate here - but this is how many of us would see an incident like this - so its just as well OP knows that many people honestly would expect their expensive ball back.

Thanks for the advice, though i do agree with some of what you have said, i don't with everything! I do accept full responsibilty for my dogs, but the damage happened on my property through their carelessness! I would have considered replacing their ball, but he was so angry and not pleasant at all, that is why i said i would think about it. I have no doubt that he was the person who scratched my car, none at all. I don't like to be judgemental, but he's just that 'type.' Thinks he can get his own way by shouting and being aggresive, i won't be bullied though as i know i have done nothing wrong. Its a really frustrating feeling!

pinkshoes

I would just take a ball round and apologise for the dogs, then randomly ask if their car is ok, because someone's put a huge key scratch down yours causing £800 of damage. Ask them to perhaps keep an eye on their car incase the criminal comes back, but say that since reporting it to the police, they now have a witness, so there's a high chance that someone will get charged...

This way it in no way suggests you're accusing them (and in fact giving them a friendly warning), but if they did do it, they'll hopefully feel guilty.

Also get the neighbour to speak to the police.

BeenieCat

Don't replace the ball!!! ceridwen - if you lost your ball to my dog by chucking it into my garden then came and demanded a replacement you'd have more chance of seeing a pig fly in front of a blue moon!

If they'd been perfectly apologetic for chucking it over in the first place and weren't arsey about the fact the dogs popped it then i might have bought a cheaper one to show goodwill, but absolutely would not give anything to these bullies.

Bogof_Babe

I have to agree with BeenieCat. Their ball was in fact trespassing on your property, you would have been within your rights to make a complaint about it being there. As an earlier poster said, what if it had damaged a cherished plant?

An English person's home is their castle, and they are under no obligation to look after any object that is missiled into their property. The intruder (or cause of the intrusion) should be doing the apologising, not laying down the law.

On a practical note, I'd shop around for the car repair. My OH uses something called T Cut and apparently it completely takes out shallow scratches, so might be worth a try. £800 is very steep, I'd hate to think they were taking advantage of a lone woman who doesn't know how much these things ought to cost.

nuttybabe

Hi
Have you tried one of those scuffs away companies? My husband just had a few scratches (one very deep) taken out of his car for £70. Someone else quoted £250 for the same job as he thought it needed repainting so get a few quotes.

janninew

Think i will shop around more tomorrow. I got 2 quotes today from reputable garages and they were both very similar so i just assumed that must be the going rate! The scratches are very deep and its the whole length of the car. Not really sure what to do if i can't get a cheaper price as i only paid two thousand pounds for the car, and that was a year ago. So i wonder is it worth having it repaired or not? They are very noticible and when i came to sell it im sure i would have to knock alot of the asking price. So bloody mad!

Bogof_Babe

They must have used a heck of a lot of force to make such deep scratches. It wouldn't be the sort of thing you could make look like an accident, e.g just walking too close, would it?

It wasn't your dustbin day was it? We got a scrape on ours when the dustmen pulled the wheely bin out and it caught the side of the car.

If the neighbour really did gouge his keys along, he must be a bit psycho, and definitely needs anger management counselling.