My Soa thingymajig

euronorris

You have to be strict with yourself. If you really want to start clearing the debt and improving your financial situation it has to be a case of 'no excuses'. Make a budget and stick to it. Learn to say no to your friends.

I'll be honest, some of them will resist it, and some will even moan at you (from my experience anyway), but ignore it. You know what your goal is and how much you want to achieve it, if they have a problem with that then...well, it's their problem. They'll get over it pretty quickly when they see you're not going to give in!

The charity run sounds good. Do you have any friends or family members who are really into running? You could arrange to go out running with them, they'll kick you up the @rse when you start slacking, and.....you'll be spending lots of time doing something completely free AND improving your health at the same time! You're onto a winner there!

sdt1986

Its not that i cant say no to my mates, and even when i do they accept it, its the fact that i actually want to go out as its boring staying in whilst being single. Anyways onwards and upwards, whats done is done this month its all about sticking to it next month thats when i can start talking about something, once ive actually stuck to it.

euronorris

I understand that it can be boring, but needs most and there are plenty of things you can do to keep yourself occupied, whilst allowing a day a week for a cheap night out.

Your into computer games right? Have you ever tried online gaming? There are some free ones out there and even ones where you can still chat to people online whilst you play. Then there are ones you have to pay for, but at an average of 20 quid per month, this would still be a hell of a lot cheaper than your current nights out. World of Warcraft is one and Eve is another. Both addictive! You have been warned! haha

sdt1986

euronorris wrote: »

I understand that it can be boring, but needs most and there are plenty of things you can do to keep yourself occupied, whilst allowing a day a week for a cheap night out.

Your into computer games right? Have you ever tried online gaming? There are some free ones out there and even ones where you can still chat to people online whilst you play. Then there are ones you have to pay for, but at an average of 20 quid per month, this would still be a hell of a lot cheaper than your current nights out. World of Warcraft is one and Eve is another. Both addictive! You have been warned! haha

Not really a gamer, i play fifa when mates are down and thats it, im trying to get a game that i can addicted to but apart from the grand theft auto series ive never managed.

As for World of Warcraft, not for me im afraid, not to mention the fact that the lass in front of me is having her relationship wrecked by it by her boyfriend :rotfl:

Mrs._Irwin

It's rubbish that lads only socialise down the pub, and getting off yer head and pulling some drunk lass isn't how long-lasting loving relationships form in my experience.

It might be boring staying in, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get where you really want to be.
Either you actually want to get out of debt and build a secure financial future, in which case, suck it up, get real and start cutting back, or you want to have your cake and eat it, in which case, you'd better start looking for a magic lamp to rub.

sdt1986

Mrs._Irwin wrote: »

It's rubbish that lads only socialise down the pub, and getting off yer head and pulling some drunk lass isn't how long-lasting loving relationships form in my experience.

It might be boring staying in, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get where you really want to be.
Either you actually want to get out of debt and build a secure financial future, in which case, suck it up, get real and start cutting back, or you want to have your cake and eat it, in which case, you'd better start looking for a magic lamp to rub.

Deary me, if its rubbish, your names "Mrs" so im guessing that your married? If so just out of interest how does your husband socialise. I know that my dad never did anything other with his friends other than go to the pub, standard practice. And then when he knocked it on the head, he still had friends but never saw them, thats all very well and good when your married.

And yes i do have to make sacrifices, but if i stay in for the next 5 years of my life in order to get out of debt, then whilst all my mates have settled down (which is already starting to happen) then what am i... a debtless single lonely 27 year old, what good is that.

Its not about having my cake and eating it either im afraid, its more to do with the fact that i need to find a happy compromise, where i still have a social life that gets me out but also where im not scraping for money for food. All being well in december my pay review should sort this.

euronorris

Well, WoW, along with any other online game can cause havoc in relationships, IF it is used as an escape from something else. I would suggest that your friend needs to find out what her bf is trying to escape from - work worries, money worries, family issues etc.

It can be played sensibly. I personally go through stages where I want to play all the time (but not at the expense of time out with the bf or friends) and then I get a bit fed up and leave it for a few months.

It's not for everyone though, I know. Eve is the same concept, with the online gaming, but it's based in space and quite a bit more complicated. There's less one on one interaction. My bf and I are enjoying it at the moment, but, thankfully, we can still take it or leave it. Or, if he's on it for too long, I insist he comes away from it for a couple of hours etc.

I feel for your friend though. I know some people take it too far and get completely caught up in it. It must be horrible trying to deal with someone who's got to that stage. I think there are some forums about it online, offering support and advice if she's really struggling, but I think the best advice is that she needs to have a very honest talk with her bf. That being said, he has to be willing to talk too.

Wish her luck from me!

Mrs Irwin is right about finding a relationship. I met my bf through a friend at work. All of the guys I met whilst out with friends typically lasted no longer than 3-6 weeks as we had nothing else in common!

sunshinejoclaire

I did meet my now husband in a night club, and I'm the only person I know who did meet their partner that way!

However - since we met there have been two further relationships spawned from us meeting - two of my females friends are now living with two of his male friends (2 different houses.. it's not a foursome :rotfl:)

Does are or your friends have girlfirends? Chances thier girlfriends have single friends..

sdt1986

sunshinejoclaire wrote: »

I did meet my now husband in a night club, and I'm the only person I know who did meet their partner that way!

3 of my main friends are with birds met on the town, not neccasarilly in a nightclub as i never said that.

sunshinejoclaire

I amended.. i pressed submit too hastily!