E: 11/10 £5000 daily giveaway at bonkersaboutbiscuits.com

always_comping

:jCheque finally come from ages ago win, hopefully sending them all out now, softpad ,natty let me know if yours come please. Still no phonecall back regarding cheque sent out in wrong surname wont hold my breath on that win then! x

simon31leeds

Hi Bonkers buddies - many apologies but as I am at a loss who to speak to because my friends are my partners friends and I can't really confide in them and they say a problem shared is a problem halved I wanted some advice.

I've been with my partner for over 9 years now and although things have been up and down, on the whole I thought things were going well.

I was then contacted by someone on Facebook who said you may want to check out what my partner is up to with someone else they are friends with on facebook as they have some dirty secrets.

So although I know I shouldn't have, I have accessed my partners facebook and e-mails and find that behind my back he is cheating on me with another man who is married and has two young kids and a wife in tow.

Not only that, they are planning to move in together or get themselves a shag pad - some of the things I have read in conversations between them absolutely disgusts me. At the moment, if I saw this married man I am sure I would rip his head from his body which makes me worried I'm not thinking straight.

We have a house together with a mortgage, so I am thinking I need to confront him this weekend, tell him to get out by Monday and if he doesn't, I will expose him to our friends, his family and work colleagues so they can see the true side of him. I am then planning on getting the house on the market next week to try to get it sold and try my best to move on with my life. One issue is that I am not 'out' to my parents so am worried he will use this as a threat or blackmail to me so am in a dilemma if I should now come out to my parents which I have never done in the past as my dads health has been so bad and I think his health has worsened because he didn't take news of something similiar with my brother in the past. But if I don't come out to my parents I am worried he will go round there and make things 10 times worse.

I just want to know if I'm being logical as I'm now in such a state about this that I don't know if I'm thinking straight.

Apologies for the long message and it's totally off competition chat I know but I just wanted some advice on things by people who don't know me and him (e.g. all of our friends) and can give me an outsiders perspective.

always_comping

simon31leeds wrote: »

Hi Bonkers buddies - many apologies but as I am at a loss who to speak to because my friends are my partners friends and I can't really confide in them and they say a problem shared is a problem halved I wanted some advice.

I've been with my partner for over 9 years now and although things have been up and down, on the whole I thought things were going well.

I was then contacted by someone on Facebook who said you may want to check out what my partner is up to with someone else they are friends with on facebook as they have some dirty secrets.

So although I know I shouldn't have, I have accessed my partners facebook and e-mails and find that behind my back he is cheating on me with another man who is married and has two young kids and a wife in tow.

Not only that, they are planning to move in together or get themselves a shag pad - some of the things I have read in conversations between them absolutely disgusts me. At the moment, if I saw this married man I am sure I would rip his head from his body which makes me worried I'm not thinking straight.

We have a house together with a mortgage, so I am thinking I need to confront him this weekend, tell him to get out by Monday and if he doesn't, I will expose him to our friends, his family and work colleagues so they can see the true side of him. I am then planning on getting the house on the market next week to try to get it sold and try my best to move on with my life. One issue is that I am not 'out' to my parents so am worried he will use this as a threat or blackmail to me so am in a dilemma if I should now come out to my parents which I have never done in the past as my dads health has been so bad and I think his health has worsened because he didn't take news of something similiar with my brother in the past. But if I don't come out to my parents I am worried he will go round there and make things 10 times worse.

I just want to know if I'm being logical as I'm now in such a state about this that I don't know if I'm thinking straight.

Apologies for the long message and it's totally off competition chat I know but I just wanted some advice on things by people who don't know me and him (e.g. all of our friends) and can give me an outsiders perspective.

:eek::eek: oh simon that's terrible, personally i would tell him to sling his hook, dont reckon he'll make things worse for you, he's in the wrong and should be very ashamed of himself. Also keep anything you've seen as proof.
If you need to talk i'm here x x x

Upsa-Daisy

oh my goodness Simon, thats an awful thing for you to find out. I too would be extemely angry like you, but perhaps you should give him chance to try and explain?
Personally I'd cut up his clothes, chuck them out of the window and expose him for the cheating lying scumbag he is.
I guess he could use the fact your parents do not know you are gay as blackmail, but I wouldn't give in. Maybe you should try and pluck up the courage to tell your parents (I know this wont be easy, but hopefully they will understand)

Finally, big hugs x

freefan01

pm just on it's way to you simon, hopefully full of good advice!!

easter65

PM'd you Simon.....:D

clairelou44

Simon, What an awful situation you are in. I know you are worried about your Dads health but maybe you should think about telling your parents about your sexuality as I am sure they would prefer to hear it from you then someone else. I Agree with always your partner should be ashamed of himself, cheating on a partner is terrible but I cant help but think that it is so much worse the fact that he has been sleeping with someone who is married with children
x

calash

I've pmed you Simon, My cousin had this happen to her, she had 2 kids and her husband ran off with another man while she was pregnant and then expected to be there for the birth, she's never moved on poor love:eek::eek:

spidystrider

Simon I am so sorry to hear your news.
If your partner has cheated on you (and you seem to have the proof that he has) he will do it again. Under no circumstances would I forgive my hubby if he cheated on me. You do have to confront him, I know it won't be easy but there is nothing else you can do. Maybe it would be easier if you had a close, supportive friend or relation with you when you did it.

Only you know what your parents reaction is likely to be to you being gay. I am sure though that they would rather hear the truth from you than anyone else. I have 2 sons and I would love them just as much whether they were straight or gay.

simon31leeds

Hi everyone - thanks very much for your advice and all the PM's which really are appreciated. I think I have two big things to do one being speaking to my parents and the other being to confront my OH. This isn't the first time and we've tried again so I know in the back of my mind that this just isn't right so I have to look forward and try to move on.

Thank you again - everyones logic and reasoning is reassuring to know.

Simon