Neighbourhood watch..iv'e upset a neighbour..

gabyjane

'Disclaimer'! I know i will get slated so please if you don't agree with the below please be polite as know the obvious 'it's not your job now!!'

Ok following on from my other thread running i have had no issues with anyone about anything apart from parking from numerous neighbours and have reffered that to the police, i have had frequent emails from another neighbour r.e various things such as rubbish (reffered to HA & council) and children ruining certain parts of the surrounding grounds and annoying neighbours at night (not me though). I have been in touch with the HA and have their full support over everything and they have sent similar letters to all neighbours r.e what i have put below.

I did letters explaining the above and have reffered them to some of our friends on this street who thought it was very good..i have just had a reply.

This neighbour in question snuck over and put it through the door but dd just happened to be looking through her window! tbh i have never had such an insulting letter in all my life..suprisingly it wasnt signed..gutless is my first thought and guilty as no one else has said a word.

It said basically cutting it short (2 a4 pages) that i must keep my nose out, no one wants a neighbour hood watch person and that she can do whatever she likes! (worded by her i assume and delivered by him!)..it says my job is basically worthless and i have nothing better to do, that i have ruined all the childrens fun (will explain that in a min). The rubbish issues are not rocket science and that i am patronising (as told them it was a thursday as know there are some new neighbours and not everyone knows)..i could go on but tbh what's the point!

Right in my defence..i was rail roaded into it at the first meeting we had, i am happy..sorry that WAS happy! to do it at the time as not a lot of issues, just a side line really until the man opposite took over, we were also the first to move in so are a little more up to date on things and know a little more about bits than most do..not in a 'i know it all way' just a helpful type one..i am a childminder and take my mindees up to the local park usually once a day, it got to the point of the children not being able to play as the older kids went up there and whacked a football round so hard it would have really hurt the 2,3 yr olds i have..i was not in the minority of ringing the council and have now been told all the kids will have no fun due to me, my job too must be a real chore wih the kids i have seeing as i have ruined all their fun?? (it wasn't my kids that were the prob!)..Rubbish again not anything to do with her but everyone got a reminder as although not them they are not the tidiest at times..the parking was what got her back up i guess as they have 4 cars now a 4 whell drive and a caravan, she tends to park illegally now at least one of them on the pavement and the rest she puts in others spaces..never her own as she has told me it is too narrow to get her car in..well the BMW that parks there every day manages to do it (as other parking) and the residents who have spaces next to hers do too..maybe shes worried about scratching her r reg vauxhall! also (and this made me laugh)..the neighbours near us who always used to have the police called out to them she blamed me for not supporting them!! ..basically he beats her and she lets it go..its boring now, he has 2-3 court dates per week some of which i am informed of as dh in the police part time and some i may be called to but havent yet..i'm the one who called the police once as my dd saw out of the window and i was digusted with them..wonder if she has any court dates to support her?

SO i am sitting here seething as yes i know the above is not my job but what harm could it do..hmm obviously a lot..i stepped out of the house and the couple in question were opposite with another set of neighbours sat looking right down on me smirking..prob not knowing dd had seen them deliver it..i was cross at this as the neighbours they were sat with did turn up at the meeting and cursed these neighbours who sent the letter and said they would do anything to support me..hmm 2 faced springs to mind now..

So i am resigning am severely peed off after a lovely day with my minded kids and am going to reply to her..dh says not to as will start a war but i will put it diplomatically that she is a lazy good for nothing who has no interest to begin with so cant moan now (she turend up on our doorstep demanding minutes the morning after the first meeting mouthing off at me when i said no....they don't work spend all day just swapping cars from pavement to road and i have a worthless job! ( ia have 3 as it goes) funny how ppl on benefits can afford so many vehicles really (and no comments on slating benefits please)

Sorry for the rant but im fed up and need to calm down before i write something i regret..or not! I know im going to get slated now aren't i as i always seem to be in the wrong!?

HellsGranny

Being Neighbourhood Watch coordinator is a thankless job, unfortunately. Just be glad someone else does it now.

Cheers, Hell's Granny

Smashing

A neighbourhood watch scheme can turn the nicest street into Shameless, quiet housewives into screaming banshees and cause more upset and hysteria than a crime being committed would.

starnac

haven't really got anything helpful to say but i din't want to read and run. i do understand why you are upset though. sorry i can't help x

Catblue

Let things calm down for a couple of days. Do nothing in the meantime.

They obviously think that they have done this anonymously, so I would soon put them right about that, but in a nice way.

Give it a couple of days and then maybe write a letter (addressed to the neighbours) stating "Dear xxxx and xxxx (or whoever), thank you for the comments in your letter. I have passed them to the Neighbourhood Coordinator for his consideration. Please note that all neighbourhood issues should be addressed in future to xxxxx, Neighbourhood Coordinator, at xxxx address".

This lets them know that YOU know that they wrote this letter. It might give them pause to think that they have inadvertently shown their nastiness to the new Neighbourhood Coordinator.

Leave it at that and do not get into any discussion with them at all. If they say anything, just reply "Could you put it in writing again to the Neighbourhood Coordinator - thanks".

Comyface

Sorry to hear your troubles.

Fab advice by Catblue, I'd do that if I were you.

gabyjane

Hi thankyou for the replies didn't think you would all be so supportive!

HellsGranny thankyou i agree now i have done my short stint at it although i never wanted thanks..hate mail through the door is a little ott though!

Smashing again i agree, tbh not suprisingly she is the neighbour in question that everyone has an issue with which is why i have the reply off only her!

Simon P no my mindees have not been hurt YET but i am not prepared to be put in the trust of another parent and let possible harm come to thier children. Most parks have these signs and since it has gone up we have had no probs..parks are for playing not football..there is plenty of open space around for them to do it there.The children nearish to where we live (and i have no personal problem with them) are the other complaints to me, they are typical awful runaway children who wreak havok in the rd at times, they jump in peoples wheelie bins and leave them in the rd, they climb lamp-posts outside houses to look through windows, throw rubbish and talking to the parents well..ha most of the rd will agree with me that it is a waste of time!! Again as for the parking the issue is only with this lovely woman who wrote to me..again why she is annoyed i guess!

starnac thankyou appreciate that!..i'm not upset anymore just very annoyed at how she thinks she can talk to me!

Catblue excellent idea..thanks..i am going to write a reply now but won't do it until prob thursday pm now or fri am..i may write a slightly more civilised reply then!! Only thing i am umming on is whether to resign purely because i think i do a good job for the small issues we have had, people have emailed me and i am friends with quite a few of the neighbours so don't want to not do it due to her thinking she has won as such, that sounds childsih but i hope you know what i mean.

Comyface thankyou!

So resign or stick at it?!

Running_Horse

I feel sorry for one housing association with a zero tolerance policy on their new build estate. You wouldn't believe the amount of petty moaning from grown up adults telling tales on each other. No offence, but this is a message board, and nobody is interested in taking sides. Move on and enjoy your life.

gabyjane

Simon p i agree with that too but i can't see that catblue's suggestions can add much harm can they? that is exactly what i said to dh that i do not want to get into some childish letter writing scenario with her but feel i must just let her know some way that i knew it was her and leave it at that..there is a meeting with one of my neighbours with the HA on friday to which i have been invited and i can't attend but am in touch with my neighbour and she has rung tonight to tell me she will ring me after they have gone..the HA will send the info on as to the outcome as such so i feel i have their side too.
Thanks

gabyjane

Running_Horse wrote: »

I feel sorry for one housing association with a zero tolerance policy on their new build estate. You wouldn't believe the amount of petty moaning from grown up adults telling tales on each other. No offence, but this is a message board, and nobody is interested in taking sides. Move on and enjoy your life.

Well some are as there are replys to show that! I do enjoy my life thanks it seems to be my neighbours who don't!! i'm just the go between.

Blacksheep1979

At least the kids are out playing a bit of sport rather than causing trouble or just watching TV. You say you're taking kids in your care there - do you have insurance? And do you think this area should just be kept for your business enterprise and anything that potentially affects this should be banned? Tbh I think you're out of order on that part - the rest seems fair enough though.