paying csa for absent children

Mips

I don't understand it at all, I would never stop my kids benefitting from the love from their father

Apart from the fact they drive me nuts and I LOVE it when he takes them off me for evenings and weekends :rotfl:

chriszzz

Dippychick wrote: »

I don't understand it at all, I would never stop my kids benefitting from the love from their father

Apart from the fact they drive me nuts and I LOVE it when he takes them off me for evenings and weekends :rotfl:

Its nice to see other women putting there child/rens interest at the forefront of there lives :A. It saddens me when I hear the way some women who use there child/ren against genuine fathers.
At least you know that your child/ren are enjoying having two parents in their lives, believe me it does make a difference to your child/rens future.

onetomany

op all kids say things they dont mean my boys tellme all the time they hate me but i no they dont mean it xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

brians_daughter

sounds like she has them in her grips so to speak. They will realise soon enough - i promise. For us unfortunately my son realised what his dad is, but the other way around. He has come to accept that his Dad always lets him down. I often feel shameful that I chose such a man to be the father of my child.

I wish you all the luck in the world x

stevectaylor

WAs he Married to her?

Reason I ask is that if not and you have not the correct papers, she does not need to consult him if she wanted to maved abroad or worst if the children fell ill and you he would not have authority to make a decision on their behalf. I had this and had to get a court paper (cannot recall the legal term for the paper) to recognise that I have the rights to make decisions as well as the mother. Not expensive but worth every penny.

brians_daughter

Stevectaylor...Parental responsibility is what i think you are meaning?

chriszzz

stevectaylor wrote: »

WAs he Married to her?

Reason I ask is that if not and you have not the correct papers, she does not need to consult him if she wanted to maved abroad or worst if the children fell ill and you he would not have authority to make a decision on their behalf. I had this and had to get a court paper (cannot recall the legal term for the paper) to recognise that I have the rights to make decisions as well as the mother. Not expensive but worth every penny.

Yeah! they were married for 13yrs, His contact with his children was to see them every other weekend because she works and she wanted to spend time with them on her weekend off, the agreement was between themselves.
If he has had to stand up for himself as a man he either gets threatened with the police or she will stop him seeing kids, we have been to solicitor twice over this and each time he has had contact resumed.
I think its hit him harder because the girls sent him the hate-mail, he gave it a couple of weeks and then sent them a lovely letter, which they tore up and binned and yet his son still comes down every other weekend, so we don't know what really is going on and why they have turned to hate over-night

chriszzz

brians_daughter wrote: »

sounds like she has them in her grips so to speak. They will realise soon enough - i promise. For us unfortunately my son realised what his dad is, but the other way around. He has come to accept that his Dad always lets him down. I often feel shameful that I chose such a man to be the father of my child.

I wish you all the luck in the world x

Sorry to hear that you son having problems with his dad!! Its such a shame that some child/ren are walking the planet knowing they have a parent who has no involvement in their lives.
It must also be difficult for them when there friends are going to moms/dads at the weekend. How must they feel??.
Its so wrong for parents to put obstacles in the way of there children to develop and maintain natural r/ships, especially when the parent is genuine and non threatening to the child or pwc

caroline83

If this woman (your partners ex) was a decent mother she would not have even allowed such mail/email to be written by her children to their father. At 12/13 the girls don't know their own mind and they have almost certainly been manipulated by an adult into behaving this way.

Alot of the time I don't agree with many of my ex-partners ways and sometimes his behaviour enrages me but I grit my teeth and keep it in, my two daughters CANNOT know I feel this way because he is still their father and I have no right interfere with their relationship.

Your partner is doing the right thing writing letters, sending b'day cards etc and of course paying maintanence. I know it can feel frustrating when all you get back is crap but remember they are still children. Be patient & I promise eventually your partners daughters are going to realise that all he has done is tried to be there for them. Let the mother carry on, she will be shown up for the bitter, manipulative cow that she is...

chriszzz

caroline83 wrote: »

If this woman (your partners ex) was a decent mother she would not have even allowed such mail/email to be written by her children to their father. At 12/13 the girls don't know their own mind and they have almost certainly been manipulated by an adult into behaving this way.

Alot of the time I don't agree with many of my ex-partners ways and sometimes his behaviour enrages me but I grit my teeth and keep it in, my two daughters CANNOT know I feel this way because he is still their father and I have no right interfere with their relationship.

Your partner is doing the right thing writing letters, sending b'day cards etc and of course paying maintanence. I know it can feel frustrating when all you get back is crap but remember they are still children. Be patient & I promise eventually your partners daughters are going to realise that all he has done is tried to be there for them. Let the mother carry on, she will be shown up for the bitter, manipulative cow that she is...

Exactly, no decent parent would allow for their children to send hate-mail, for what?? he farts and smokes!!!
I too don't always agree with my ex partner but to be fair to him, I cant go dictating how he should run his life, as long as my son is comfortable, then that is enough for me.
It is frustrating because he is a decent father and his girls are being deprived, in fact i would go as far as saying emotionally abused, she should of at least had a word with the girls and then maybe spoke to there dad, although the son wont really talk about it he has told us that after the girls had sent the email they then told her it had been sent, we know that going to court she will say she has had no input and that it has been purely the girls decision and that because she is the mother the courts will believe her over him. Its just so disheartening!!