I am at the end of my tether

Susan_Frost

I think you are too polite. Accusations of people saying something nasty appear to make you all back down. Must not be thought of as being nasty people. Must be nice and reasonable at all time, despite his behaviour. Teachers who are nasty must be wrong.

YOU seem to need the backing of OH and mum. Why? You are his mother, an adult. Do your own thing with him. Take your own stance whether the others back you or not. YOU are not going to stand for bad behaviour. OK you may not be able to physically stop him doing some things, but you can give him your own consequences and stick to them.

Let OH and mum make out for what you will not do, but you stick to your guns with all of them. Then let them take the consequences of their own spoiling.

If he speaks badly to you, calmly, and in few words state your case, say it is not up for discussion and walk away from him. (going to the bathroom is a good place and lock the door on him) Dont get into any discussions and DO NOT respond to his bleatings about how you are being nasty to him. That's how you all get dragged into making out for him. You dont have to justify yourself.


Just do it. And good luck

Horasio

At the moment my OH and I are supporting each other fiercly.

I am worried my mother will weaken and be soft with our son, given her vulnerable state just now. She tried to be all sickly about it yesterday which really annoyed us. If anyone is one to please at her own expense it is her. I am also worried he and her will push me out as he is her golden grandson but she is annoyed at what his has thrown away over the last year by not applying himself.

She has always accused us of being too controlling and strict.

We take it in turns to take her shopping and goto places as she can't drive.