Funerals

aliasojo

I'm going to get embalmed, stuffed and posed artistically...then I can be stood in the corner of the hall and used as a coatstand where I can be of use to people (my offspring mainly) whilst being a constant reminder to them not to do bad things. Multi-tasking, me. :rotfl:

I like the idea of the woodland burial but might be a bit worried about being accidentaly dug up somewhere along the line. :undecided

Casati

I might ask Dr Gunter von Hagens to plastinate me and stick me in the science museum...

Janetew

Personally, I'd be quite happy to be put on my compost heap. Preferably I'd have been cremated first I suppose.

slopemaster

But I think there is some confusion about whether the ceremony of the funeral is for the departed, or for those who are left.
Assuming the latter, then the fancy stuff makes more sense as a way of helping to deal with grief, accept that the person has gone, and celebrate their life.
(So they may not want to put you on the compost heap!)

I know that, whilst I would tend to think in simple terms for myself, when my brother-in-law died young, we would have had a full requiem mass and horses with black plumes if we could have.

I think there is a reason for a lot of the traditional ceremony - although of course, to go back to the OP, not if that means having a priest/vicar who never knew the person saying inappropriate things.

My Dad was agnostic and mum's atheist, so for Dad's funeral I got a humanist who spent quite a bit of time talking to me on the phone so that, although he'd never met us before, he could say appropriate things. He was really good. I would have been too overwhelmed to do the whole thing, but I did manage to read a poem myself too.

teresaevans_2

No, you do not have to have a church funeral. For best advice google "The Good Funeral Guide" for advanced funeral directive. You may decide that you wish to conduct the arrangements all yourself independent of a funeral undertaker as well.

seven-day-weekend

My b-i-l recently died. He and my sister were Communists. He (and my sister who died in 2006) had no funeral whatsoever, just a cremation, and then a 'memorial' a week later for family and friends to meet, remember the deceased and tell anecdotes.

Their four children are going to scatter both their ashes off the west coast of Ireland, a place they both loved and which my b-i-l requested.

This is not what I would want for my send-off, but it is what they wanted and it is perfectly OK to have no funeral, or one of your chosing.

Newly_retired

A minister of religion/vicar/clergyman who is doing a proper professional and caring job will visit the family and if s/he is expected to talk about the deceased, will find out as much as possible. Or it is possible to have a Church service with somebody else doing the eulogy - it doesn't have to be the Vicar, though s/he will conduct the service. If the ceremony is at the crematorium then the minister could just be someone on a rota. In those circumstances you can't expect them to know anything about the deceased.
If you have no religion then there is no virtue in going through a religious ceremony. On the other hand, it can be a comfort, to some people. I have been to some wonderful funeral services, where the person's life was celebrated. Christians believe in an afterlife and when a person dies they go to be with the Lord.
If the deceased had a faith then a religious ceremony would be what they would want. They might put it in their will. Some wills also say whether they want to be buried or cremated.

Jake'sGran

Errata wrote: »

HTH ............it's horses for courses these days and quite fashionable to have Robbie Williams recording of 'Angels' played at a funeral in place of or as well as a hymn.

A friend from our Over 60s - she was 84 - had "I did it my Way" and I must admit I thought it was a bit corny. I don't mean to sound unkind, she was a lovely lady. I love this song but not in that setting. Last week at another funeral - most of our friends are in their 80/90s - the song at the end was "Until the end of Never".

For myself, I have been looking at poems and sayings. There is one I like by Joyce Grenfell that is short and to the point and mentions laughter and another by Hilaire Belloc about friendship which was used at the time when Carol left Countdown.

amersall

i am not having a funeral, my body will be picked up by the undertaker, he will get the relevent certificates, i will not be embalmed, then placed in a recepticle suitable for the cremator then taken to the crematorium and put in the cremator, my ashes will be given to my husband in a suitable container i will supply (before i die) and that is the end of me, funerals are for the living not the dead i dont want money wasted on the usual hearse ,cars announcment in the paper, flowers etc. then a party can be thrown in memory of me. and i will rip. and it will not cost over £2000

teresaevans_2

Janetew wrote: »

Personally, I'd be quite happy to be put on my compost heap. Preferably I'd have been cremated first I suppose.

There is no law that states that you cannot be