Like a rubber ball !

savingholmes

Hi DC have you worked out how much you will save if you do quit! perhaps put the money in a sealed pot every day to remind you or pad it? Would that be an incentive

hypno06

How's your first day been?

Different_Corner

Morning.
Had two left at time of post, succumbed once. Going to do this. Tomorrow is the big day Hypno, ie start of new 'year'.
The additional motivation is coming from something that happened this week, can't spill the beans yet, but safe to say has put me in a good mood .
Saving Holmes - it's £100 a month and that is shocking.
Penguin, yep been a regular on that thread, yoyoing in and out.
Is time for me to look after myself.

scrooge2008

Hope you're out enjoying your New Year's eve celebrations. Countdown time soon.....

Very intrigued about the additional motivation.

savingholmes

Good luck today!

Different_Corner

TY SH !
I'm battling here, have had 2 cigarettes in last 24 hours, is good for me.
Re additional motivation all will be revealed may be asking advice ...

hypno06

Happy New Year!! May it bring you everything you wish for

Different_Corner

Right I'm going to put it out there because I can't utter this to anyone who knows me in the real world vs virtual. All though you lot know an awful lot more about me than many...!

I'm approaching 20 months without my DH of 20 years. It now feels like something that happened, rather than something that is happening. I'll always love him but can have my *really* bad days. My children are wonderful, they have come through this and become fine young men.

My dilemma. A friend, an old male friend from 25 years ago has made contact. My heart lurched upon seeing his name on the email. That reaction alone shocked me.
I'm talking about a friend who was 22 and I was 16. He was one of those on/off boyfriends, we had a few intimate liasons over 2 years, never ever serious. Last saw him 10 years ago at a mutual friends wedding. He is aware of my loss.

Now the emailing and online chat has been light hearted toing and froing a little flirting, reminising.

Turned a little more serious on Thursday. Now I can't get this guy out of my head. But I'm concerned this is just my emotions working overtime in my head. Someone paying an interest. My priorities are my sons and nothing will get in the way of that.

I'm certainly not ready for the dating game yet I don't *want* anyone else, and I know neither of us are the same people we were 25 years ago, emotionally or physically.

He's suggested meeting up after Christmas, and then I can't stop thinking about what if ? I'm like a 17 year old again, you know the stuff: butterflies, can't eat, can't sleep, can't concentrate.

On the other hand I feel oh so sad at having these 'feelings' for someone else, it means that although I'll never stop loving my DH, something has changed. Changed forever. And that hurts. Am I just on a nostalgic trip down memory lane ? And so I go round in circles.

I know this is far from MSE, but I'm oh so wary/cautious even scared. There's no rush I can just meet him as an old friend. But in the mean time I really need to come back to earth.

There said it.

penguin83

Hi DC, I can't even pretend to know what you have gone through and the loss you have suffered and I am crap at advice but wanted to give you my thoughts anyway!

You musnt punish yourself for having feelings for anyone else. It does not mean that you love your husband any less. One of the most difficult things to do is to let go and move forward. You are coming to terms with what has happened as you say rather than what is happening, you need to give yourself permission to move on.

Hope you are ok xxxx

Different_Corner

Hi Penguin.
Thank you and yes you are right and the good old cliche - it's not something DH would want. Beyond that in my quiet moments I sit and think in 5 years time (when I'm debt free) I want a new life, my two will have their own lives, I shouldn't sit still just because.
I'm okay just totally shocked at my own reaction to this turn of events.
But as I always say life happens to you.