Money Owed by Ex-Boyfriend

tilly122

Hello there,

I've had a browse about the internet and there are lots of similar to queries to mine and problems posted on message boards but Im just looking to see if anyone can give me some advice.

Basically I split with my ex in January, and he owes me about £1000. Bearing in mind im only 20 years old I consider it to be a lot of money.
I've tried to ask him for it back on several occasions, but he keeps fobbing me off telling me when he gets a job he will pay me. I've even offered to let him pay me back in instalments but he seems to think he doesn't have to pay it back. I've left it long enough and got nowhere so now Im going to try and stand up for myself. He's wound me up and I've had a lot of abuse from him so I've realised I owe him no favours.

I understand that while he hasn't got a job he can't pay me back and I wouldn't expect him to. But the fact is, part of the debt is due to him putting his season ticket for his football team on my credit card in March 2008. He didn't have my permission to do this, and Im surprised that the club allowed him to do it without my approval but that's another matter. I've never received a penny back for this, yet he's gone out and purchased 2 season tickets totally over £700 for the new season without even considering he still needs to pay for the last one.

He's also been to Kazakhstan on holiday and I believe has holidays booked to 3 more places before October. So while he says he's not working, he's obviously getting his money from somewhere, and therefore I feel he can afford to pay me back.

Unfortunately im unsure of the proof I have to hold up in small claims court. Obviously I have the credit card statements for the season tickets, and my parents have their credit card statements for a games console he bought on their card for around £200. The rest of the money is made up from various amounts lent to him last summer. I have emails which I sent to him at the time detailing the amount, however I don't have anything from him to say 'ok I agree'

I 'think' I can send him a letter threatening im going to raise a claim in the small claims court if he doesn't pay up in x amount of days. Can anyone confirm this and tell me what I'd need to put in the letter?

I know that when I do raise the claim I can do it online, for a fee which I think is around £100.

If anyone has got to the end of this post, I thank you! and thanks in advance for any advice you can offer me :-)

nervousftb_3

when my ex owed me money, he was refusing to answer my calls/emails. so eventually i called his parents landline (where he was living at the time) on an occasion i knew he would be out. i had always got on pretty well with them, so we had a quick chat, then when they asked why i was calling, and i told them that the ex owed me money (in a very polite, casual kind of way!). and lo and behold, a few days later i had a cheque in the post....

i don't know if this would be at all appropriate in your case, and in my case there wasn't a great deal of money involved (around £200), but is there anything like this you could try in an attempt to 'shame' him into paying, or at least starting to pay you back?

floss2

Why not contact the club, and advise them that the season tickets were bought on your credit card without your permission.......they may cancel them.

You cannot report it as a fraudlent act, as you have obviously given your details to your ex at some time in the past - but cut up that card, and report it as lost. At least it will put a stop to him spending any more on it.

Then consider starting a small claims court claim against him for the cost of the console and season tickets plus interest on those transactions - if you want to be nice to him you could write & tell him that if you do not receive payment within 14 days of your letter then you will be starting a claim against him. It's an easy process, all online and the fee gets added in.

tilly122

nervousftb wrote: »

when my ex owed me money, he was refusing to answer my calls/emails. so eventually i called his parents landline (where he was living at the time) on an occasion i knew he would be out. i had always got on pretty well with them, so we had a quick chat, then when they asked why i was calling, and i told them that the ex owed me money (in a very polite, casual kind of way!). and lo and behold, a few days later i had a cheque in the post....

i don't know if this would be at all appropriate in your case, and in my case there wasn't a great deal of money involved (around £200), but is there anything like this you could try in an attempt to 'shame' him into paying, or at least starting to pay you back?

Thanks, it would be a good idea, except i never really got on with his parents. So I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable phoning up.
I don't think they would have the cash to pay me anyway.

zippychick

I have been burned by friends owing me hundreds in the past, and I just wrote it off. Good luck with claiming and let us know how you get on.

Pee

Do write to him in advance - not to be nice, but because the court require there to be a letter before action.

Of course, it is also nice and what you really want is to get the money back.

How about any of his decent friends?

tilly122

floss2 wrote: »

Why not contact the club, and advise them that the season tickets were bought on your credit card without your permission.......they may cancel them.

You cannot report it as a fraudlent act, as you have obviously given your details to your ex at some time in the past - but cut up that card, and report it as lost. At least it will put a stop to him spending any more on it.

Then consider starting a small claims court claim against him for the cost of the console and season tickets plus interest on those transactions - if you want to be nice to him you could write & tell him that if you do not receive payment within 14 days of your letter then you will be starting a claim against him. It's an easy process, all online and the fee gets added in.

They can't cancel them, as the season ticket he bought on my card was for the last season, so its ran out now. He's now bought himself 2 season tickets for the season ahead, they aren't on my credit card.

Its a bit confusing but he doesn't actually have the details of the card, basically I applied for my own season ticket along with a credit card application, and if you get accepted for the credit card then you get a season ticket and the cost goes onto the card. So when I applied, he rang the club and said 'if her application gets accepted can you put my season ticket on her card too' and they did!

Thanks for the advice though, Im seriously considering the small claims court now as i don't see any other way. I wasn't sure how many days to give him, so 14 sounds reasonable. Is there anything else I need to include in the letter?

tilly122

Pee wrote: »

Do write to him in advance - not to be nice, but because the court require there to be a letter before action.

Of course, it is also nice and what you really want is to get the money back.

How about any of his decent friends?

Thanks for that, I did think that I might have had to send the letter for legal reasons.
Not sure what you mean about his 'decent' friends though, what about them?

floss2

tilly122 wrote: »

......Thanks for the advice though, Im seriously considering the small claims court now as i don't see any other way. I wasn't sure how many days to give him, so 14 sounds reasonable. Is there anything else I need to include in the letter?

Just be quite clinical about it: state the transactions & date & amount & interest charged to date by the credit card companies.

Don't get too bogged down by any emotion - he has shown that he has no emotional involvement or guilt by not repaying you.

Then if he doesn't pay, start the claim process. He will get notification via the Courts service. If he doesn't pay after judgement, then you can ask for the Court bailiffs to go & enforce it.

BTW, ensure that you have his current address

Dinah93

I hate to be a voice of doom and gloom, but he'll just state he's already paid you back in cash, or he bought things in return for what you had bought him, or they were a gift. Unless you have it in writing that he has admitted to owing you the money you may well find you get absolutely nowhere. When I left my ex he owed me over £3500 (not a small amount to me either, I was 23 at the time), but I was told by my solicitor as it could not be proved that any items bought were not a gift to him, and there was no proof he still owed me money, court would not grant in my favour. In the end I got around £700 back from his mum, but he's never paid me a penny and I've had to chalk it up to experience.

tilly122

Thanks for the insight, it's appreciated if not slightly worrying!
Im going to send the letter anyway, hopefully it will scare him into actually doing something, then again, maybe not!