Big family - presents help

never_enough

I've had the lists e-mailed pre-Christmas & birthday, presents often starting around the £30 mark for the kids. Or worse..."I've bought this this & this at £x, £x & £x would you like to choose which one you'd like to give them & send me a cheque. That'll be a big fat NO!!! :rolleyes: It really really p's me off, especially when we dont even get a letter of thanks from them, but an email from their mother. They're teenagers !!!!!!, they should be capable of writing something, even an e-mail would do. :mad: We used the old credit crunch to stop adult presents between brothers/sisters so we buy only for my ohs parents & the kids. Children will then get a more special present on their 18th birthday & that's it.
I only buy a present from holiday if I happen to see something lovely. I couldn't even begin to contemplate doing wholesale present buying, the waste of time being more important but the cash too! I'd rather not go on holiday, ever!
I feel so sorry for you, but if you can't put your foot down then it'll carry on forever.

nearlyrich

We are a big family, we stopped buying for adults with children a long time ago, now some of the children are in their early 20's including mine, it's time to stop really. I don't usually bring anyone anything back from hols unless I see something I know someone would love, I don't go shopping on holiday to buy things for other people, last time we went away we didn't bring anything back for anyone.

poet123

I think it is the Greek tradition though that the OP is fighting against, and it is very ingrained. It is not just a family tradition, but a cultural thing. It is part of who they are, and if she does not go along with the traditions of the family she may find she is isolated and that is not what she appears to want.

If they can afford it, and if that is the only issue she has with his family, then maybe it is a small price to pay for family harmony.? In that case she needs to minimise the toll the shopping takes on wallet and time.

Pollycat

poet123 wrote: »

I think it is the Greek tradition though that the OP is fighting against, and it is very ingrained. It is not just a family tradition, but a cultural thing. It is part of who they are, and if she does not go along with the traditions of the family she may find she is isolated and that is not what she appears to want.

If they can afford it, and if that is the only issue she has with his family, then maybe it is a small price to pay for family harmony.? In that case she needs to minimise the toll the shopping takes on wallet and time.

familyfortune
I think poet123 has hit the nail on the head.

I think your only option is 'damage limitation' - minimise as much as you can the money and time you spend in buying & hunting for gifts.

I'll think of you as I'm lazing on the beach. LOL :rotfl:

Good luck :beer:

poet123

Me too, I find it hard enought to find two presents for my 2 year old great nieces that are safe, useful, fun, and not tacky.....I dont envy the shopping familyfortune has to contemplate.

Mme.Hibou

Just buy everyone awful and really cheap presents - preferably the same thing for everyone in a variety of colours and hopefully next time you go on holiday they'll ask you not to bother

As for Christmas, shop around and spend around £10 per child, don't mention it/talk about it and when sil mentions gift lists be really over the top and let her know you have something much more exciting planned!

As for someone on the other page begrudging not receiving anything when they had gone out and spent time, money and effort on a present - Christmas is about giving, not receiving. Yes it's nice to be appreciated but we can't force everyone to be as nice as us