Tips and Quick Questions on “How To Start Being Old Style”

quintwins

sjprmc01 wrote: »

They are fine with fruit! And the only veg they ever did like (bar when babies) were peas and sweetcorn. As I say the eldest will eat things as long as she can't see chunks of veg in it. The other two are way more difficult

So they did eat them? At some point you must have allowed them to get fussy, i hate fussyness so would never stand for it, i would say depending on age i wouldn't hide things, whats gonna happen when they leave home if they've never had veg on their plates and don't relise you hide it? thats far to many items to be genuine dislikes.

i wouldn't offer them toast i would keep there dinner and reheat it later if there hungry, if they don't eat it going to bed once with no dinner won't hurt, we don't offer our kids extra meals after dinner unless there ill, we do always have pudding even if it's just a yogurt that can't be eaten until there dinners done.

Maybe clean plates for a week gets a day out of a takeaway or treat dinner (like chicken nuggetsp/izza and chips)

YORKSHIRELASS

How old are they? Maybe its time for some tough love. Kids will not starve and if they know you are serious about this and they are not going to get anything else they will eat what you make them.

If they are old enough I would sit them down and explain that their fussiness is causing you major problems and costing a fortune and you have to find a way of making family meals that everyone can eat. Get them on board helping with shopping and cooking if you can. At the end of the day you are the parent and you have to take charge of this.

Its heartbreaking if you have spent ages making something and they refuse to eat it but stay calm, even if you are seething inside - the last thing you want to do is make food a big issue and a way of them getting attention.

I have a friend who ends up making three or four different meals every evening because her kids wont eat the same things and to me thats ridiculous. The earlier you put your foot down with this the better.

Oh and mealplanning is a lifesaver and helps with both saving time and money. I found it quite hard to begin with so give it time if you find it tricky.

Good luck!

cyclingyorkie

On the house of Tiny Tearaways that used to be on the BBC it was constantly pointed out that kids will not starve if they don't eat whilst you are getting tough.... the problem is it's usually the parents who cave in first - not wanting to see their offspring go hungry....

At 6 DS ate sausages, quorn burgers, tinned tuna and salmon and chips and broccoli - and that was it. Now (at 20) he eats virtually anything ( except green beans.).....

valk_scot

There's nothing much wrong with bread, fruit and perhaps a glass of milk for dinner. What's say pizza after all? Bread, fruit/veg and milk based product? It's a fact, you let them get away with being fussy and now they think what they want is the most important thing. Each of them. It's a nightmare. Who wants to be cooking four different meals every night! What a waste of your time!

No, I agree with the poster that says sit them down and explain how it's going to be. There's no harm in cooking to one person's preferences once a week but EVERYONE eats it, including you and the OH I might add. If you and dad also fuss about vegetables and such then the kids will think it's okay for them too. So that's five meals sorted (you and dad get a choice each per week), then one night make a treat food or a takeaway and on the seventh night try something new. If anyone doesn't want that night's dinner there can be bread and butter, fruit, cereal, milk and maybe a bit of cheese if you're feeling generous. No alternatives, no fancy puddings. Make soup if you like and try to make at least one item of every meal something the majority will eat (peas, say, or plain pasta) but otherwise, be firm.

It's not them that are ruining your meal planning and budget, it's you tbh. You let them get to this point, sorry! So you're going to have to be the one that calls a halt to it. It will be hard but decide to give it a month and youi'll see a big difference, trust me.

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog

quintwins wrote: »

So they did eat them? At some point you must have allowed them to get fussy, i hate fussyness so would never stand for it, i would say depending on age i wouldn't hide things, whats gonna happen when they leave home if they've never had veg on their plates and don't relise you hide it? thats far to many items to be genuine dislikes.

i wouldn't offer them toast i would keep there dinner and reheat it later if there hungry, if they don't eat it going to bed once with no dinner won't hurt, we don't offer our kids extra meals after dinner unless there ill, we do always have pudding even if it's just a yogurt that can't be eaten until there dinners done.


My 2 boys were headed down the road of fussiness when they were younger and I had visions of my mum's friend who used to cook 5 different dinners a night because the family didn't eat the same things (and she was a cook!!), I knew I wasn't going to do that!!!

So we went 'cold turkey' eat what is on your plate or no pudding, if they didn't even try it it was served up again the next day. I fully accept that everyone has things they are not keen on but I get annoyed when people won't even try something.

All 3 of my kids will eat pretty much anything now and will try new things at the drop of a hat. I cook almost all of our food from scratch, bulking out mince etc. Last night I couldn't decide what to make so asked the kids for inspiration, DS1 (now 18) said 'I don't really mind mum, I love everything you make!':D

MY nephews and nieces (from both mine and DH's sides) have all been allowed to dictate what they will and will not eat and I dread them coming to our house or out for a meal, it's a nightmare!!

Persevere, it will be worth it, meals times will be less stressful, 1 meal for everyone and your food costs will come down as you will be able to buy whatever is reduced or on offer and make a meal from it!

Good luck

321

sjprmc01

Yeahim aware it's not them ruling the budget etc

They are (only just) 5,6 and 7. It's the 7 yo who eats best.

Tbh me and OH ain't great with veg either (well I eat carrots, onions, broccoli, lettuce, peas, sweetcorn, sprouts, green beans that's all I can think of or now)

And it doesn't help that when preg with my 1st I also went off most foods and couldn't stand the smell of most stuff being cooked!

Its actually usually 5 different things as OH tends to cook his own thing too coz of this!

I generally make something they will all eat a bit of and add different sides for each dependant on what they will eat

I do realise I need to totally re think things

Re the eating veg when they were babies. Bar the odd few peas and bits of sweetcorn they would eat, it was only ever pur!ed too

Possession

TBH I have had to get tough with my two and explain that we don't have enough money to be fussy and they have to eat what they are given. with a few exceptions they have been pretty good and after a bit of a sulk have just got on with it. I'd say we still have some way to go but they are definitely way better than before. If they didn't finish the meal I left it on the table and before they could have anything else they had to (roughly) finish that. I don't want to get them into a mindset where they absolutely must finish everything on their plate as I think that stores up it's own problems for the future, but I want them to realise that wasted food is wasted money and means that we can't spend it on anything else. I should say there are a very few things I know they really don't like and I don't push it on those, after all we're all allowed to dislike a couple of things aren't we - for DH it's mushrooms and for me it's celery.
So in my experience getting tough does work.

sjprmc01

And to be fair the youngest and eldest will normally try its the middle who won't but she can be rather headstrong and would rather not eat for the whole week in protest if it came to that

Possession

sjprmc01 wrote: »

And to be fair the youngest and eldest will normally try its the middle who won't but she can be rather headstrong and would rather not eat for the whole week in protest if it came to that

She wouldn't not eat for the whole week though. I doubt she'd last half a day - almost no modern child used to eating something whenever they can would last. If you get tough, and get OH on board so you are all eating the same thing, it will work, and it will make your life a lot easier too.

quintwins

Trust me if it came to not eating for a week she wouldn't last as long as you think, and that statement in it's self just goes to show you happy to let her continue with this, if she's stubborn it's up to you to be even more stubborn, and remeber no matter how hard done by she feels you are helping her and she will thank you for it one day (or she could end up nearly 25 refusing to eat anything homemade, or take a lunch to work because microwaved food is rotten and sandwichs go soggy like my sisters boyfriend and driving her partner insane, thats the actions of a toddler who's testing you she's old enough to understand now)

My hubby hates veg but the only day of the week he doesn't eat it is sunday as i made it very clear we would be setting a good example for our kids from the word go , he gets a very small amount on his plate as i dish up dinners here and on a sunday we go to his mums and serve ourselves, he always eats them and at one point we acually had to ban brocolli in our house as one of our older boys would eat it then refuse to eat anymore dinner demanding more, we stops serving it and explained he had to eat other foods aswell, a few weeks later we started eating it again with no issues or melt downs.

oh and i'd also recommend getting rid of our hiding snacks and rationing them out, if they can graze there not gonna be tobothered about eating no dinner (i have a grazer but i insist he has nothing after about 3, we have dinner at 6 and he always eats his dinner)