The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

teaandcakeordeath

My HSG wasn't particularly bad- even though they had to essentially spear my cervix to keep the blighter still- apparently it's very mobile... Makes me believe it's actively avoiding OH's sperm... I'd deffo have a couple of painkillers before hand. I didn't go back to work afterwards because my HSG revealed my abnormalities and there was no way I could cope with work after it. Fingers crossed yours goes fine Becca.

We had our IVF bloods done a couple of weeks ago and I received a letter today saying I have to go back for a repeat prolactin test. When I rang the nurses refused to tell me why and just 'not to worry' and it's probably a little too high. Googled high prolactin and have gone right off the deep end. After having my smear come back fine despite being convinced it would be just my luck to be riddled the top 'Dr Google' search comes out as non-cancerous tumours on the pituitary gland...

I'm really struggling lately. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I'm incapable of motivating myself to do anything (even things that may help like eat right, exercise, call the counsellor etc.) and just don't see the point. I live next door to the scummiest mummy you've ever met (every other word out of this fertile cretins mouth to her kids is a swearword and is never delivered at any level other than a scream) who along with her equally wonderful partner (just returned from jail for drugs- within the first hour he was back he was screaming at her how much he wanted to hit her then smoking weed outside my front door.) Just hearing them everyday through our stupid paper thin walls is killing me inside. How dare they have what they don't deserve.

I feel like I'm on the edge of a black hole and I couldn't give a rat's tail if it sucked me in.

Sorry- radio silence for so long then I drag my rain cloud back in here... Sorry!

codemonkey

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

My HSG wasn't particularly bad- even though they had to essentially spear my cervix to keep the blighter still- apparently it's very mobile... Makes me believe it's actively avoiding OH's sperm... I'd deffo have a couple of painkillers before hand. I didn't go back to work afterwards because my HSG revealed my abnormalities and there was no way I could cope with work after it. Fingers crossed yours goes fine Becca.

We had our IVF bloods done a couple of weeks ago and I received a letter today saying I have to go back for a repeat prolactin test. When I rang the nurses refused to tell me why and just 'not to worry' and it's probably a little too high. Googled high prolactin and have gone right off the deep end. After having my smear come back fine despite being convinced it would be just my luck to be riddled the top 'Dr Google' search comes out as non-cancerous tumours on the pituitary gland...

I'm really struggling lately. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I'm incapable of motivating myself to do anything (even things that may help like eat right, exercise, call the counsellor etc.) and just don't see the point. I live next door to the scummiest mummy you've ever met (every other word out of this fertile cretins mouth to her kids is a swearword and is never delivered at any level other than a scream) who along with her equally wonderful partner (just returned from jail for drugs- within the first hour he was back he was screaming at her how much he wanted to hit her then smoking weed outside my front door.) Just hearing them everyday through our stupid paper thin walls is killing me inside. How dare they have what they don't deserve.

I feel like I'm on the edge of a black hole and I couldn't give a rat's tail if it sucked me in.

Sorry- radio silence for so long then I drag my rain cloud back in here... Sorry!

Stress can also cause raised prolactin. Hope it's that xx

teaandcakeordeath

The nurse mentioned that in passing and said 'have you been stressed lately?'. I didn't have it in me to rip her head off...

Thanks though. Obviously my state of mind at the moment has me leaping on all of the bad things all at once.

I hope your doggy has settled in.

tea_lover

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

The nurse mentioned that in passing and said 'have you been stressed lately?'. I didn't have it in me to rip her head off...

Some of the things that staff in fertility units come out with is just incredible! Reminds me of the woman I spoke to just before ET who told me I could only have paracetamol in case I was pg... I mean !!!!!!?!

Please don't apologise for coming on here and having a moan... I think it's the only thing that keeps a lot of anywhere near sane.

Big hugs, I hope the rain cloud moves away from you soon xx.

Part_Mouse

Tcd rant away we need also the help we can get in trying to stay sane on this crazy journey.

Xx

teaandcakeordeath

Thank you all- feel stupid and guilty because I've not been through treatment or any of that heartache yet but am really struggling to cope. I haven't been to work in 7 weeks and I can't bear the idea of going back as everyone I work with are young/ female/ newly wed/ pregnancy machines waiting to happen and I can't face them- I feel like an unfertile, barren, mad freak.... I burst into tears this afternoon at the thought that my sick note expires on the 10th June. I've just rang and left a message on the IVF counsellors machine so hopefully I'll get an appointment soon. I can't handle being like this for much longer.

Part_Mouse

Tcd a you able to extend your sick note? Really sorry to hear your struggling so much. As hard as it is try not to beat yourself up, being in this sucky position isn't our fault.

*hugs*

tea_lover

Now I'm spotting on 10dpo, marvellous. Looks like I can add LPD to the ever-growing list of reasons this is never going to happen.

tea_lover

In better news... we've just booked a holiday! I haven't been away for three years so this is definitely well-deserved. Only problem is.... it's only 4wks away and I've been comfort eating for the last few months. I think I may be buying some new holiday clothes before I go.

Part_Mouse

Great news tea, where are you off to?

These drugs do take it out of you, I'm sat here in tears.

Xx