What might I be entitled to if I split from my partner?

trumpton

I found this thread when I was looking for benefit advice for a friend, but I was so pleased to read your update. I hope my friend's OH follows your partners lead and comes to his senses before she leaves him. Nice to read of your happy outcome.

lyndac40

Hi well done and good luck for your future x

MrsA1939

Well done to you both, it is good that you are working things through:j

Cat_Addict

Well folks, I'm resurrecting a very old post of mine!

This time last year I thought I was going to be a single mum and you all gave fantastic advice, but my partner and I stayed together. One year and mucho stress later, and he is finally moving out. All your great advice proved true and I am going to be a full-time working single mum with tax credits.

Can't wait to start living life my way and shaking off the awful shackles I've lived under. Would love to hear from any other ladies in a similar position.

gizmo111

Cat_Addict wrote: »

Well folks, I'm resurrecting a very old post of mine!

This time last year I thought I was going to be a single mum and you all gave fantastic advice, but my partner and I stayed together. One year and mucho stress later, and he is finally moving out. All your great advice proved true and I am going to be a full-time working single mum with tax credits.

Can't wait to start living life my way and shaking off the awful shackles I've lived under. Would love to hear from any other ladies in a similar position.

It's really strange at first, but the benefits far outweigh the stress of being in a difficult relationship. Good Luck

AnxiousMum

loobyloo0302 wrote: »

"also apply to the CSA for child maintenance"

They aren't his kids.....?

But I'm sure the children weren't born out of immaculate conception.....somewhere......there is a dad who is not financially supporting his children, and here, what looks to be a mother not making him responsible to!

Edited: Just noticed it was a resurrected thread...... - hope it works for you

kingfisherblue

Cat_Addict wrote: »

Well folks, I'm resurrecting a very old post of mine!

This time last year I thought I was going to be a single mum and you all gave fantastic advice, but my partner and I stayed together. One year and mucho stress later, and he is finally moving out. All your great advice proved true and I am going to be a full-time working single mum with tax credits.

Can't wait to start living life my way and shaking off the awful shackles I've lived under. Would love to hear from any other ladies in a similar position.

It's sad to hear about a relationship breaking down, especially when you have tried to sort out any problems. It does make a big difference to your life, for yourself and your children.

I'm also a single mum of three and have been on my own for five and a half years. I don't have any paid employment as I am my son's carer - he has complex needs. I do voluntary work, though, that fits around his care.

It hasn't always been easy, especially as I didn't know that we were in such a state that we would split up. It came as a complete shock to me, as our marriage seemed fine. I didn't know that he had found somebody else.

The children have had a few problems with their dad, especially as his girlfriend gave birth exactly nine months after leaving. My daughter was thirteen at the time, and she found it very hard to speak to her dad. It didn't help that she had just been diagnosed with a rare health problem that necessitated a couple of visits to a hospital in another part of the country - he promised to take us and then let us down at the last minute.

There have been problems with our divorce (my ex saying that our son was not as disabled as I said, despite a long list of diagnosed conditions and a high level of care and mobility needs, plus letters from different agencies and my son's paediatrician outlining his current and future needs).

Despite all this, I am happier now than I have been for a long time. The kids are happy and get on well with their sister. They see their dad every week and will attend his wedding next month - and I'm happy that they are going.

I manage better financially, even though I am on benefits. I no longer have my ex's expensive tastes or his gambling to cater for. On the other hand, when we filled in the financial forms for the divorce, he was more than £24,000 in debt just three years after leaving (when he left, he had £300 on his credit card as he had just renewed his car insurance - no other debts that I know of).

I was terrified that I wouldn't cope when he first left, especially as our son has significant care needs both day and night, but I have coped and far better than I expected. I've had support and help from family and friends, and I've developed as a person. I've completed my degree and I've become involved in issues concerning children's disabilities in my local area - leading to new friends for both myself and my children.

It is hard at times, but I'm happy, my children are happy. What else matters?

bestpud

I'm in a similar position too - been single since Feb 09 and I'm happier.

I dropped my hours to start and claimed IS to top up my wage but increased them again once the dust settled and my ex and I had managed to sort childcare (I work nights and weekends).

I'd struggle to have a relationship again now as I'm very happy just being me!

The children have all accepted it and my youngest is better without all the stress.

One good but unexpected outcome is my ex and I are good friends now and that's helped dd(8) no end. Also, we were together 20 years and it's great we can have a laugh now and aren't sniping at each other constantly - I was very upset to realise I no longer liked him and splitting up was the only option left.

Anyway, I'm waffling but just to say all will work out fine for you, I'm sure. It's good you can hand on heart say you did all you could - I found that helped me in the early stages.

Best wishes - feel free to pm anytime x

Keeping_Positive

Its good to hear you are all doing well being single. Im in a similar situation but the Dad will remain in the home with the 3 kids and claim benefit whilst I move out. I would love to be the main carer but due to circumstances havent been for the last 11 years. I was worried he wouldnt be left with enough and that I wouldnt be able to afford enough CS after paying the debts accrued then the rent and bills for my own place.

Bestspud - I understand what you say about getting on better its been just under 2 weeks and we are getting on well even under the same roof.

Lozza17

Hi Cat Addict, sorry it didn't work out for you in the end but at least you gave it your best shot. I'm in a similar situation, split up recently from my partner of 20 years. I'm now a single mum with 2 teenage boys and a wonderful daughter about to start her 2nd year at uni.

I'm currently in term time working (30 hours) and do worry about money, I don't want the kids to miss out because their dad no longer lives with us. I'm pretty sure I'll be ok but I'm feeling very bitter at the moment. Found out he'd been seeing someone else for years, but that's another story. There had been nothing between us for ages so it was something of a relief and most of the time I feel quite positive about the future.

My tax credit claim was thankfully sorted out really quickly for me and I've spend some time browsing the Old Style board, think I need to get involved on there! Those ladies (and guys) are so resourceful!

Lots of good people seem to post on these boards and offer wonderful support to each other. Bestpud, I know what you mean about enjoying just being you.

Best wishes, feel free to pm x