A fresh start

Seaxwyn

Thanks both, I dont really feel I am heading in the right direction, I feel as if I am fiddling while Rome burns

Anyway, I took two days off work this week as it's half term. We were going to visit friends at the seaside, but that hasn't worked out for various reasons, including that friend's dad is ill in hospital sadly. However, an old client has rung up offering work at short notice so rather than playing in the sun I am going to be at my desk working. But at least I'm at home, and it will mean a tiny bit more income to set against the mighty floods of outgoings.

I'm also doing some ghost-blogging while i wait for the work to arrive. Since agreeing to stand for election, local Green Party activities have taken over my life. And this week there is a huge interview with me in the local paper, it's four columns wide with a photo. Eek!! I am so embarrassed. But it is something to think about, and a welcome distraction from domestic concerns.

Karmacat

Seaxwyn, I really feel for you - if I had a family depending on me, I'd feel in exactly the same position as you - that although the figures might be going down, there's an underlying problem that doesn't show up, but that I know about .... I might be putting my stuff onto you, of course, but I feel for you, all the same. My solution is to move - better life, fewer outgoings, place is already fixed up, I can pay £20k off the mortgage. I'm not advocating that for you, of course, but can you brainstorm anything that would provide the extra income you need to make those extra payments you want to make, getting the overdraft down, for instance?

taxi73

I do feel for you and admire your determination.You have done well to last this long..I'd have thrown the towel in and got a DMP long ago as I couldn't cope with the amount of stress that you deal with...well done to you xxx

Seaxwyn

Hi Karmacat, I am sure there is a great way I could get some extra money but I just can't think of it! Doing bits of freelance work, selling things on Amazon, etc just don't make enough difference.

I have thought of selling up too - but ruled it out for now as a) not sure the house is saleable (structural issues) and b) it would cost us more to rent somewhere than we pay in mortgage anyway. But when/if I ever find myself without dependents, I plan to sell up straight away.

I am also thinking about the car - ours is on its last legs. I've thought over doing without a car but think it adds to our quality of life to have one. However we could use a small energy-efficient one and save on insurance, tax etc. I need to research that, plus scrappage deals etc.

But I need to do something to bring in a big lump sum. Write a best-selling novel (yeah, right), secure a sponsorship deal for my athlete daughter (maybe), what other options are there?

hypno06

Seaxwyn wrote: »

But I need to do something to bring in a big lump sum. Write a best-selling novel (yeah, right), secure a sponsorship deal for my athlete daughter (maybe), what other options are there?

Of course, the thing that would help the most is OH getting an income. Sadly, until that happens, I can't think of any other answers. Taking on extra work etc is all well and good, but affects the stress levels as deadlines loom and procrastination well and truly sets in, plus there are only so many working hours in one day, and burning the candle at both ends is not good for your mental health (pot......kettle).

Would it really be the end of the world to go on a DMP? It seems to me that if the income can't (or won't in OH case) increase, and the outgoings are already pared to the bone, that it is increasingly becoming an option, and could at least give you enough money to have enough of a life to reduce the level of stress, and at the same time still paying off the debt over a period of time. OK, so your credit rating would be shot, but, seriously, will that cause you problems going forward?

Karmacat

Swapping the car to a smaller one would definitely make a difference, I'm sure. What do you think about a DMP?

Seaxwyn

I have never wanted to do a DMP. We borrowed the money, and we knew the terms, so it seems like cheating. But perhaps I should reconsider. I could at least ring up CCCS and see how much they think we need to live on.

OH getting a job would be wonderful but it's outside my control so I don't want to rely on it. He is working harder recently than he has for a while, but his antidepressants make him very sleepy, so he doesn't achieve as much in a day as I would expect. I have suggested he consults the doctor about this. Now that he is doing a paper round (!) and gardening, he is outside in the daylight much more which I would think should boost his serotonin levels naturally, and perhaps he doesn't need the pills.

Another option is for me to get a better paid job. I know I should be able to earn more than £30k, but having been a freelance writer for the last 15 years, I don't have much experience of managing people or budgets, which seem to be part and parcel of every high-paid job. But perhaps I'm making excuses here as I haven't really looked into my options. I also make the excuse that I can't leave my job as they created the role for me, but now I write that down I realise that I have much more responsibility to my family than my employer, so I should get over it and actually look for a higher paid job.

Karmacat

Seaxwyn, what do you mean when you say you "should" be able to earn more than £30k? I'd be interested to know for you, and on a personal level for me too!

Seaxwyn

I just mean that if I had followed a conventional career path from my 20s, I would probably be something like 'Head of Communications' earning £40k or more. Many of my friends who started out doing the same kind of job are now earning much more than I do. But I don't have that kind of focus or confidence. And i don't want a work-dominated life either.

I saw a job advertised this week at 36k that was for home-based work, and I could possibly have applied, but I didn't quite fit all the criteria. Perhaps I should at least enquire.

lucielle

No harm in trying. Not everybody is going to tick all the boxes it just depends what they are prepared to compromise on.
L