Family Issues

indiegirl_2

Another prospective CP-er here, and all I'll say is that for the majority of you, you should be glad that it's a 'normal' wedding!

Well, that's one on the milder forms of things that my mother's trotted out since OH and I announced our engagement last October. All I hear about is how she "can't get her head around it" and "doesn't really understand".

We've asked her to accompany us to visit ceremony venues and reception venues, and all of this has been met with total disinterest. I've asked her if she'll help us find things to wear - no response. Would she and my father like to come out for a meal to see what possible reception venues are like? Nope... every time we raise the subject it's changed to something else.
OH's family are 130 miles away and her parents couldn't be happier for us - her mum's been planning the cake (she's an excellent baker) and has offered us any help we'd want - if we weren't so far away she'd be viewing venues and restaurants for us, not just with us!

My sister has been fantastic which is good really as mum's shown such little interest - and I can't see her getting any better - I'm depriving her of grandchildren, a proper wedding, it's "not a normal thing to do" and I secretly believe that I embarrass her.

What also doesn't help matters is that OH's parents have offered us a staggering amount of money to help us with it and whilst my parents probably can't afford as much they can afford some but haven't offered anything. Not that I expect them to, nor would accept it, but it'd be nice to think that they'd even offer...

Heyho, I've found the venue tonight and we've reserved it pending confirmation with the registrar, so we'll see how things go... (perhaps they might actually discover some interest now) like the majority of you here, I can sympathise!

Phyzelda

I was also thinking it was just me with issues:



I just feel like running abroad and getting wed just the two of us. And people say it's meant to be the happiest day of your life

RebekahR

I have to say I am so glad I made this thread. I really felt that it should be the best day of your life and yet I wasn't happy or enjoying this like I felt I should be.

I almost felt odd and wrong!! For not acting and feeling as I should.

welshgirl78

Mrsday2Be wrote: »

My younger brother lives with my Mum, he emailed me the other day about the wedding - i thought it was going to be an excuse about why he couldn't make it to the Sydney party event..... He the shocked me by saying that he knows things have been tough with Mum & Dad and he feels that they've acted appallingly and would I mind very much if he flew over to walk me down the aisle?
I was in buckets of tears - my OH thought someone had died before I told him about my brothers offer.

This made me cry What a lovely offer and am sooo pleased that your brother has stepped up and been lovely, all credit to him and you!

Apart from that hugs to all who have family issues, remember why you are getting married and who you are choosing to spend the rest of your life with :jPlease don't let their issues ruin your day and your choices xxx

frannyann

Hugs to all who are having family issues, as I am having to help OH deal with his father, who 'will' behave badly on the day. I have just one little gem that I remind him of daily. Their behaviour says more about the state of their marriage rather than the feelings about ours!

paulies_nixie

Arrghhhhh!!!
and once again AAARRGGGHHHHHHHH!

My little sis needs money so the world bends over backwards for her!
It's not enough that I'm now selling my things that I love (I've listed my harp on ebay - I'm not good I couldnt never have played in public but it was mine and it's music and it's important!) so she can keep what she has.
Did I mention she has no job three kids?
Anyway the long and short of it is - Goodbye wedding savings. Hello Debt!
Probably goodbye motorbike too.

Why the hell do I, who's really tried to make something of my life have to give up my pleasures my hearts desire to her who's sat on her backside all day cos my mum says - "She's on the edge I dont know if this will tip her over" I work every hour overtime that comes my way. Paulie didnt take a single day off, worked every weekend last month and thats all gone.
Looks like we'll have to postpone the wedding - there's just not gonna be the money to fund it.

I mean why the hell do I work anyway?
I've already paid for her to move into her new house she owes me thousands! which I know I'll never see. She gets her life whilst doing naff all! I work like a blumin idiot an dont get what I want!
Where does it say I never get what I want? I dont remember signing up for that.

It wasnt bad enough she's called me and told me TWICE that she's getting married to this bloke she'd only just met but before mine and bigger and better. I mean how the hell else can she hurt me.
Is it wrong to be spitefully happy that said bloke is no longer on the scene?

Sorry I'm ranting. I'm a tad emotional.
<<<hugs>>> to everyone with mad a$$ family's like mine

Emigration! Thats the ticket!
Fk em all and dissapear to Timbucktoo!:rotfl:

Violetta_2

Whats happened Paulie, have you had to give your sister the money you set aside for the wedding? Not sure I understand what's happened honey other than your sister is getting it all handed to her on a plate while you & Paulie struggle, something's not fair though.
I do feel for you all, but we have had no major problems hardly a soul has offered to help, & mil 2b is a pain in the neck & makes me want to scream sometimes, I did spend a lot of Tuesday in tears as I missed my mum so much but she can't help not being here I know if she was alive she would have done anything to help us have the wedding we wanted. (maybe rose coloured specs there lol)

paulies_nixie

shes got depression and has always been the family golden child.
Recently she's contracted Bells Palsy which I understand is traumatic. But why does that mean I'm seriously going without when she tells me she cant afford to feed the kids but has to keep her very expensive hobby going (which I'm already paying for most of)
In the real world we make grown up decisions and if we cant afford it the family has to come first!!

Unfortunately she lives in LALA land.

Real world is for the rest of us who end up bowing to family pressure. And when you tell them you've had to give up all that you hold dear and put off your wedding so she can live the life she wants to and you're really upset.
They just tell you how big hearted you are. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Mebbe that makes me mean - that I wanna carry on when she's got this 'condition' but a few years back the docs thought I had a pulmanry embolisom, they told me I was untreatable and talked to me about quality time left. Luckily wrong diagnosis. but my family never once came to see me.
My mum drives past my house to go see her and never pops in.
And MiL2b wonders why it was her I took to try on dresses and not me real mum.

Violetta_2

Oh paulies_nixie thats not fair, neccesities are 1 thing but you shouldn't be going without to fund your sisters hobbies etc, surely the kids come 1st. She must be getting tax credits for the kid's so what is she doing with the money.
My brother drives me up the wall with his selfishness, but last year I'd had enough & decided I would not let him upset me any more, we still speak & are friendly but I don't get upset because he can't be @ssed to visit his niece on her birthday it's his loss.
At least you seem to have support from Paulies mum I can't believe you might have to postpone.

paulies_nixie

Cant choose yer family eh?

Ahhh well.
I'm still hoping it'll all come good. Gawd knows how though

Cant let it get you down all the time.

Mebbe we'll dissapear and get married and not tell em