Family Issues

Mrsday2Be_2

And here I was thinking that it was just me!

I'm from Australia and OH is from England. As my family is small (2 bro's, Mum, Dad, step-Mum) with only a few distant relatives and his is HUGE with loads of close fammily we've decided that it's better to get married in the UK.
You'd think I'd said to my family 'sod off, I'm not inviting you to the wedding'.

We have planned to have a live video feed from the ceremony in England to the family in Australia that can't make it for the event, and a party at a hotel in Sydney so no-one misses out on the party. My Dad (royal pain) has said he's not coming because he can't leave his dog at home for the day! Added to that, he can't even be bothered to learn OH's name - we've been engaged for over a year and a half! He's a rude childish pig and I've had enough.

Sad to say my Mother is not much better, when I told her I was engaged she said 'That's nice - who to?'...she has b!tch down to an artform. She's made me feel totally guilty for the fact that we're having the wedding in England instead of flying 65 people to Australia for it (anyone got a spare £60,000 to spare). She has not offered to help me with ANYTHING, I can't even discuss dresses with her without her making snarky comments about how if I spent less on the dress I could fly her over for the wedding (she works full time and has conferences in England on a regular basis) - I'm getting my dress from Milly, how much LESS could I spend?????

I'm heading back to Australia for 3 months in August and staying with her and DREADING it. Thank god for my best friend and my little brother.

When I told my best friend I was getting married, she screamed down the phone, laughed, cried and then went out and bought bridal mags for us to look at together. She also booked her vacation so that she can fly from Australia to be with me on the day.

My younger brother lives with my Mum, he emailed me the other day about the wedding - i thought it was going to be an excuse about why he couldn't make it to the Sydney party event..... He the shocked me by saying that he knows things have been tough with Mum & Dad and he feels that they've acted appallingly and would I mind very much if he flew over to walk me down the aisle?
I was in buckets of tears - my OH thought someone had died before I told him about my brothers offer.

I'm soooo fed up with everything and we're now having issues with OH's family...
Gretna Green is looking really fantastic right about now! lol

Lish_2

I really feel for you all girlies, I have a mum and sister who are being complete b*tches to me. Neither have been married (altho my sis is desperate to!) and the only comments I ever get are sarcastic and snide remarks like 'it's very you' and 'oh really' and then change conversation. I have tried getting them involved but due to the lack of enthusiasm and my constantly feeling the need to justify every aspect of it i have given up! Not to mention a dad that keeps telling me I am stupid to get married and if I really feel like I want to then I should do everyone a favour and go abroad and do it alone with just me and my OH as this is what 'everyone does these days'.
There are two ways about this- either to let it spoil your wedding plans, or stick your fingers up to them and just dis-engage them from the preparation. I certainly will not be making a fuss and show of my parents for them to revel in on the day- they dont deserve it. I will be concentrating fully on the people who have helped me and are true 'friends & family'. B*llocks to the rest of them!
It's an old saying but so true:
"You can chose your freinds but you can't chose your family"

Chin up girls, you deserve a great wedding day- make sure no one spoils it for you! x

RebekahR

Awwww this is so fantastic! I'm glad I started this thread now! I thought it was just me and maybe a couple others with a dysfunctional family! There are loads of us. I have to say whilst wedding planning has had its fun moments it is no where near as exciting as I thought it would be. Or maybe this is because we live together and have been together for 7 years!

There is a huge fight going on in our family right now which I am centre of as always but i'm emotionally exhausted right now to tell.

Yellowbug

aaawwww i just want to give you all a big hug


im not going to winge about my lot again ever



I hope you all manage to have a fantastic wedding despite your annoying families

rinroo

Your not alone

H2b's family dont want anything to do with our wedding until after sil2b's wedding is over (xmas) - they are furious that we planned to get married 6 months after they (sil2b) announced they were getting wed, Of course i can see why they are cross, but this was so not our intention, but I am angry they are going round acting like children saying me and h2b and in competition with them - no competition their wedding is being paid FOR them, we are paying for OUR OWN wedding and are doing it on half their budget h2b is working damn hard to fund it, plus are tastes couldn't be more different so work it out??

Anyway...

I dont speak to my mum haven't done for years, and only occasionally see my dad - only my best mate is excited - my sister (MOH) has her moments of complete giddiness and then she looses interest. My other sibling are completely not bothered and dont really care, I know they will nearer the time though. Its just a shame that they cant share my excitement and help me plan - like I always imagined we would.

Weddings seem to bring the worst out in some people I KNOW!! but just remember that not everyone will share your excitement for your wedding until its days away so try not to get too upset by everyone's actions

I just ignore what they say, as at the end of the day I'm marrying the love of my life, we both just wish we had done it sooner so that his dad could have shared our day

clearing_out_my_pockets

I always thought I'd have family troubles but the reality is far different.

When OH & I got engaged, OH's mum and dad went overboard with folders, venue brochures, etc. They offered to "underwrite" the cost of the reception which to them meant that they decide where it was held. They were pushing us towards a venue which I hated. It was in the middle of nowhere and would have meant an extra 30 minutes travel for my family who are already having to travel for an hour (I know that isn't loads extra but when it's family with kids that are relying on public transport, it makes a difference). When OH saw how upset I was getting, he suggested a venue to his parents which I knew I loved. Which, incidentally, is significantly cheaper and more flexible than the parents' choice. OH's mum said that she wasn't sure if that venue "conveys the message we are trying to get across". What? That we love each other?!?

Anyway, when we wouldn't play ball, OH's parents withdrew their offer to pay. Which in a way suits us better as we have more control, but it would still be nice if they'd at least acknowledge that there is a wedding in the pipeline.

On top of all of that, the girl who has been my best friend for 15 years seems to be distancing herself from me and it's breaking my heart

Marky123

I really can't beleive how many of you are having these problems with your families.

I give you my best wishes and hope everything works out well in the end.

We are getting married on 14th August (not long now) and we've had lots of support from everyone. My partners sister is chief bridesmaid and she has been fantastic. We've had a few minor problems with the venue so we sent my future mother in law down there to sort them out and she's been great.

Once again good luck with everthing and have a great day.

Mark

brownbabygirl

I thought I was the only one I well/ Mum is driving me up the wall trying to remote control our every move. Will be back for more details

RebekahR

Well it looks like my mum isn't coming. I've asked her many times and she just doesn't want to reply. Just keeps saying she will think about it. Or making excuses up. Saying she is too poor to buy clothes, she went and 2 out fits and now complaining she cant buy shoes and handbag to go with it.OH has offered to give her some money to help if it means she can come. She says she won't know most of the people there, and that the rest of the family won't want her. And that she will be lonely. I fell out with her bf again badly so i've disowned him ... again ... he caused a lot of trouble and told lies and I don't want him doing this on the day. They have both been pleading me to let him come. I nearly gave in so many times until partner, sister and dad remind me of what happens when I do! Then it brings me to back to my senses. She was going to stay in a town nearby when dad has a room free she can stay in. And moaning about travelling back late by herself. Just so many excuses when she clearly doesn't want to come so i'm not chasing her or talking about it with her any more. And she had the cheek to complain about being left out and not knowing anything. Well your not exactly asking how things are going or if you can be included or is there anything you can do ---grrrr!! I give up ...

paulies_nixie

awww hun. Dont know what I can say to that except offer huge virtual <<<<HUGS>>>>

She'll come round. She sounds like she's just doing it to try to get her own way.

Nix