Choosing a name

lilian1977

Louise - that's actually the correct way to do it which is annoying!

In following this tradition women abandon the use of their maiden name. For example, if Jane Jones married Matthew Morgan she would be known as Jane Morgan or Mrs. Matthew Morgan. However in common usage you will find that most would address you (incorrectly) as Mrs. Jane Morgan. Collectively you would be formally known as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Morgan.

nat82

I am the only one left with my Surname but I don't particularly want to hold on to it as I don't have a relationship with my Dad and my Grandma and Grandad have passed away although I hate OH's name and I don't think it goes very well with my first name I will be taking his name so that the kids and I will be the same.

Re taking your surname as your middle name, I did this with my daughter. She doesn't see her biological Dad (he's a bit of an eejit but that's another story!) and OH and I have been together since she was 1 (she's now coming up for 7) so when we decided to get hitched we decided that DD would take his name too as it means that she has the same name as her brother and any future siblings and also I get to have the same name as her for once! I didn't really want to strip her of her surname so we changed her previous surname to another middle name and changed her surname to OH's. We just downloaded the forms off the web and sent it off with our payment.

I also toyed with the idea of using my maiden name for work but I'm just going to change it and be done with it! I'll get too confused!!!

longhotbath

Hi - I didnt take my OH's long dutch surnane when we got married, I kept my maiden name (have been married before and took his name, the went back to my maiden name on divorce ).

My OH was fine with it, and sometimes uses my surname as his is soooooo long!!!

All was fine and hunky dory until the children came along - and now I use all sorts of combinations.

say OH is A, and I am B, then children are all A (they all have B as a middle name).
I use B in all financial stuff, but in personal / children stuff I am Mrs B or Mrs A, or Mrs AB (in Dutch, the husbands name is first, then the wifes).
Both surnames are incredibly rare, so I think that most people that know us have got used to it.

Good luck with choosing, and hope that you have a wonderful life together, whatever you are called!!

*Louise*

lilian1977 wrote: »

Louise - that's actually the correct way to do it which is annoying!

In following this tradition women abandon the use of their maiden name. For example, if Jane Jones married Matthew Morgan she would be known as Jane Morgan or Mrs. Matthew Morgan. However in common usage you will find that most would address you (incorrectly) as Mrs. Jane Morgan. Collectively you would be formally known as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Morgan.

I knooooow - that's why it annoys me so much!!!:rotfl:

You would think when women got the vote, equal rights etc, that tradition would have died out :rolleyes:

LabLover

Crickey , I'm glad I asked the question , every1 has all sorts of combinations on here , all for different reasons. When I asked around at work , and said I was considering db-ing name they all sort of went :eek: I quite like the way u have done it *louise* , That way it wont be complicated for my OH , or any children ( if we have any ) . Did you change your name by deed poll. Also if your name is DB'd can you use just one of the names , for instance if my name was Miss Brown and after I got married I changed to Mrs Brown-Lawford ( these dont quite flow but my mind was blank ) Could I then be called .ie at the Drs or dentist Mrs Lawford , and sign cheques in either Mrs Brown or Mrs Lawford , or would you always need to write out the whole thing ? OMG Im sorry for all the questions I just dont have a clue about the whole thing , and every1 on here is so helpful

*Louise*

To try and simplify it, my full name is Mrs D****-G**** (although I haven't changed everything over yet)

At work I am known as Ms D****

Everywhere else I will be known as Mrs G**** (dentist, doctors etc) or as Mr and Mrs G**** on bills- gas, leccy etc

Banking, passport and everything will have my full name and I sign my name Louise D-G**** (in full if it's something official though)

It's complicated - but who wants a simple life eh :rotfl:

fly_dragon_fly

see i have the issue of having a very strange name like berenice but and the my middle names are voilet and sapphire and then my surname is very english and my son has my surname as he is not my partners son so and i dont like my partners surname tbh i am only getting use to my surname after so many years and it has a ring to it now while if i take my partners it sounds very deflated i dont know what to do everyone says i should take his but i dont like it and don't want my son to be left out.

Violetta_2

LabLover it's obvious this is important to you, have you explained to your oh about why you would like to do this (re your brother). Could you use both ie double barrel & your oh just use his own.
I'm thinking about keeping mine as a middle name, it was something my mum did 40 odd years ago, not sure how/why think it just kind of happened that way. I think it is unusual as when we came to register her death the certificate was printed out with just the 1 surname, the registrar was really good & rang Edinburgh to see if she could change it for the cert to show the 2 surnames when they said no, she then rang Glasgow who said yes & she printed out another Cert with both the surnames on it.
I always felt a tiny bit hard done by that I didnt get a middle name so I may be awkward & just add my oh name on the end.
I think legally you can call yourself pretty much anything so do what you want.
Also I would get someone else to call you it ie Mrs Wotsit-Bloggs a few times as it will sound different when someone else says it to how it does in your head.

*Louise*

Violetta wrote: »

Also I would get someone else to call you it ie Mrs Wotsit-Bloggs a few times as it will sound different when someone else says it to how it does in your head.

That is very true - I was nearly just going to have OH's name until a good friend said 'ohh you have to go D-B, it sounds great', then she kept calling me by it until I got used to it lol:rotfl:

LabLover

Thanks everyone for your help. My OH knows how important it is , he was very close to my brother and can understand my reasons. He says he wouldnt mind what my name was aslong as Im still his wife ( aawww) Still a bit unsure tho cause my surname along with his doesnt exactly flow off the tongue and it is pretty long , and I also have a middle name . I would like everyone to be brutaly honest , when we get married my name could potentially be
Mrs ****** , **** Miller-Turnbull ,
is this silly , I honestly would love feedback , good or bad !!!Please dont say its nice to be polite , I dont like it much either but I obviously have my reasons. Because if it is cr*p double barrelled , then I will just have two middle names , and then if I ever had a son I would give him two middle names also , my brothers name ( would be too raw to give it as a first name) and my maiden name and then we would all have same surname :T