What Caused Your Debt in the First Place

jellybabies_2

tesuhoha wrote:

you would never be able to trust him, never in a million years cos he cant even see that hes doing anything wrong

hey he cant trust himself. he wants to spend his life tryin to impress his 'friends' and tryin to keep up with the jones's.
i actually came off the pill 8 months ago cuz of the obvious reason,and my clocks tickin away fast. and the lies were still flying even then.
selfish and stupid dont cover it.
thanks for your reply :wall:

tesuhoha

Good luck Lottiepots. i hope you get the house of your dreams. Tashja im so sorry to hear about your accident and bad luck. You must be a nervous wreck by now. However youve also had some wonderful luck in your two children and youre getting on top of things at last.

tesuhoha

jellybabies wrote:

hey he cant trust himself. he wants to spend his life tryin to impress his 'friends' and tryin to keep up with the jones's.
i actually came off the pill 8 months ago cuz of the obvious reason,and my clocks tickin away fast. and the lies were still flying even then.
selfish and stupid dont cover it.
thanks for your reply :wall:

You deserve to meet someone nice. I hope it happens for you. When you meet the right man life the world seems a brighter place. Wish everyone could have a man like mine.

demented_2

tesuhoha wrote:

We were foolish cos we wanted our kids to have what we never did.

Hi Tesuhoha, I know exactly what you mean, I did the same thing with my 2,
wish i had done it diffrently, as we didn't t even get housekeeping from them when they were/are at home. was told by son " its the parents duty to look after their children" and my friends don't have to pay housekeeping.
so sad. I do feel sorry for you Tesuhoha.But keep your chin up.

tesuhoha

MoaningMyrtle wrote:

Ours was when my husband was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness at the age of 24, we wanted to enjoy ourselves whilst we could, had a few holidays, managed to buy a house by hook or by crook in a lovely area.

Fourteen years down the line, we are deep in the proverbial, OH kept alive by a cocktail of drugs in a poorly paid job. I have three part time jobs to try to pay for the basics and a DMP in place. I still want to buy things to cheer myself up though, the pain of the past, present and future is too much for me to cope with.

Your post really stuck in my mind. Sounds like youve done brilliantly and have achieved a lot. Dont be too hard on yourself, of course you need to cheer yourself up. Some things are worse than debt and in your case no one would blame you for trying to live while you can. Well done for doing all those jobs and love and best wishes. Hope your pain will be eased.

tesuhoha

My problems are nowhere near as bad as other people's but the thing I am currently stressed about is that our debt is about to increase. We have lived in this house for almost 19 years but we are moving soon. The reason for this is that the area has really gone down and over the last couple of years we have been troubled by yobs from the local council estate. We have a green in front of our house and they come here to play football. i dont mind that but they have been damaging cars and property. There has been drunkeness and fights breaking out and cars tipped over. the local residents are constantly calling the police on a regular basis. There was a series of meetings with our local MP just for our green and we have a patrol car coming round here every hour or so. These kids are not worried by the police they laugh at them and as soon as they are gone they carry on with what they were doing. Weve had ASBOs and now theres an order to remove them if there are groups of more than two. (cant remember what its called) Anyway to cut a long story shorter we put our house on the market last year and now the market has improved we have finally got a buyer so we are going. My husband has decided that we are going for location, location, location so we are going for an old house in a very good area. Our mortgage payments will increase by about £300 per month so although my sons school fees of £1115 will stop in June we wont be that much better off. The house although basically sound, is not really livable, it needs for a start re-wiring and replumbing. My husband will do all the work himself but it still needs a lot of money spent on it. I have not saved a penny towards it because i am busy paying off our £17000 debt. Other houses in the same area with an extension on the side are worth £60,000 more so we are going to do this but the problem is that all the improvements to the house are linked to this extension so we would need to do this first. We have been offered a loan of £7,500 with an ir of 5.9% but its only on offer for 2 weeks. My husband doesnt want to take out a loan at this point without the sale even gone through yet. He is a plumber and doesnt get paid if he doesnt work and at the moment he is working every weekend just to get extra money. He has always done this but at the moment he is looking exhausted and he only ever has 2 weeks off at christmas, no holiday during the year at all. I am job trapped i hate my job but it pays well and having no Qs I would be lucky to get another job, let alone the same money and I would not dream of leaving when my DH goes through all he does to get hold of money. Now our debt is going to have to increase to do the house up. i dont mind living on a building site but dont want to live the way the house is at the moment. Its not been touched since about 1960. Its a terrible thing to say but i think i would prefer the increased debt to just leaving it. We never ever go out so we would be spending all our time there. Sorry about the novel. Just had to get it all off my chest.

dell_2

Whilst now debt free :j (apart from mortgage)


At one stage, just as my divorce was settled I was £41,000 in the red.

Pretty much every penny of this was due to the ex

tesuhoha

Thats some going Dell!

dell_2

tesuhoha wrote:

Thats some going Dell!

Brief version:

I've always earned good money
Wife had cards, I paid the bills
Bills get bigger - a tale all to familiar here I'm sure
Took out big loan (£14K from memory), repay over 2 years to kill cards
CRUCIALLY I DO NOT CANCEL THE CARDS
18 months later, find out wife is having an affair
Wife leaves me with 2 kids (6 and 2 years)
Lose her income and have to pay additonal child minding
then the Credit Card bills start to arrive.....:wall:
She had asked for new cards and then withdrawn the best part of £20,000 in cash over the previous 12 months - funny that I only found out about the affair when the last card maxed out :rolleyes:
Re-scheduled what I could, including the loan - was still spending £3-400/month more than I was earning - but managing to keep all loans paid with minimum repayment, etc

18 months later I finally had to give the kids to their mother..£41,000 in debt.

I had a very agressive repayment plan and I guess got "lucky" (£15,000 bonus) one year.

Took me just under 3 years to pay it all off.

so much for it being the brief version!

tesuhoha

demented wrote:

Hi Tesuhoha, I know exactly what you mean, I did the same thing with my 2,
wish i had done it diffrently, as we didn't t even get housekeeping from them when they were/are at home. was told by son " its the parents duty to look after their children" and my friends don't have to pay housekeeping.
so sad. I do feel sorry for you Tesuhoha.But keep your chin up.

Thank you. We thought that if we were laid back but supportive parents that they would turn out really well but it seems that is not good for their characters. it seems that if you are very strict, deny them things and dont appreciate them, then they turn out much better. However, if you read my previous post about our life, jobs etc, then maybe it will be it bit easier to see why we've done so much for them.