what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

barnaby-bear

mrcow wrote: »

They are going to have to start saving and planning for the future.

According to Lloyds, they can borrow £153k and they'll need a 10% deposit for any property.

Which means they'll be looking in the £170k ish bracket.

£180k will get you a 2 bed semi in Reigate.
£160k will get you a two bed terrace in the same area.

Although in the current climate, you can haggle.

one ONE salary?

mrcow

Downshifting groceries

barnaby-bear wrote: »

one ONE salary?

Hello? :wave:

You buy your house first, get your mortage - and then you look at planning to have a family!

That's how most of us all do it!

barnaby-bear

mrcow wrote: »

Hello? :wave:

You buy your house first, get your mortage - and then you look at planning to have a family!

That's how most of us all do it!

But why do you think banks limit it based on income - even after a few years the mortgage you are suggesting will be high and dropping an income just because you've 'got' the mortgage isn't viable..... a bank thinks it's a stupid idea to borrow that much on one salary.... what does that say

OrkneyStar

Downshifting groceries

mrcow wrote: »

I think your figures are way off. I know lots of SAHP (being one myself) and none of them have partners earning £80k.

My DH does not earn anywhere near that amount and we survive.
Perhaps people are confusing luxuries and needs ?

barnaby-bear

OrkneyStar wrote: »

My DH does not earn anywhere near that amount and we survive.
Perhaps people are confusing luxuries and needs ?

I'm talking about stable housing.... I count that as a need.... and I know in my area people who have had to take mortgage levels to access it on two salaries that mean they can not drop a full income regardless of holidays, value baked beans etc.....

flea72

mrcow wrote: »

Excuse me? We ALL know how hard it is!

Every single stay at home parent on these boards understands what sacrifices are needed to stay at home full time.

All of us are capable of earning what you term as a "decent" wage. If you disagree, then you're selling us short. Most of us have been hard-working, well trained and well educated professionals. If you don't think that it takes serious sacrifices to give up a career after working so damn hard for it for many years, no matter what your OH earns, then seriously, you have no clue what you're on about.

Your OHs wage is immaterial. If you don't think they earn enough, then get them to take a second job - or you do it and go and work nights whilst they're at home. Or get them to retrain and start doing something that earns them more than £22k per year (as theat seemed to be your benchmark?).

so do you not think, that i am hard-working, well trained and well educated? That i dont have a career ive worked hard for, a second job, working evenings and, weekends, etc. or an OH who doesnt do the same?

Can you not choose a career now for the love of the job, or does everyone have to go for the big bucks? Not everyone can be a rocket scientist, there are people who have to do the menial jobs, that keep the rest of the county going, but thats ok, we can work for peanuts, and not see our kids, due to having to work 2, 3 or maybe 4 jobs, just so we keep a roof over our heads, as long as there are people who have a choice over whether they can be a sahp , because their OH went for the money, were all hunky dory?

Your OHs wage is immaterial!!! without it, you wouldnt be able to be a sahp

Flea

snoozer

It's a long time since I had this dilemma (dd26, ds23) but I can remember having very little money as a SAHM at various times. WE either had very cheap holidays or visited relatives, I worked stacking shelves when the children were asleep, we couldn't afford to do more than basic maintenance on the house etc. etc.

When the children went to school I got a job in a school to have the school holidays and be able to pick them up from school every day. It was only when ds was 16 that I actually started on a career path which suited my qualifications. Luckily I was reasonably young when I had them so now we are looking at a comfortable middle age and retirement and looking forward to doing a lot of the things we couldn't afford to when the children were young.

pollyanna24

flea72 wrote: »

The UK average is £27k, now i would assume any family would be able to have a sahp based on that income. tbh anyone with an income over £20k should be able to have one parent stay at home by making 'cutbacks'

So how below average does your OH earn?

for people who earn between £10k - £20k its very hard to have a parent stay at home, because you are above most benefit thresholds, yet arent earning enough to have a life thats anything above just existing

Flea

This is a bit presumptous. I don't think we could afford living on one wage at £20K because of our mortgage. And some people just have more outgoings than other people. Our mortgage is quite big because of where we live and because of when we bought. It's all relative!

OrkneyStar

Downshifting groceries

barnaby-bear wrote: »

I'm talking about stable housing.... I count that as a need.... and I know in my area people who have had to take mortgage levels to access it on two salaries that mean they can not drop a full income regardless of holidays, value baked beans etc.....

A house is a need, not necessarily home ownership though .

RoxieW

I also think it comes down to house prices. Many families on the close where we live can afford a SAH parent with one parent working bringing in an average wage ie my neighbours for example include mechanic and supermarket worker. The main wage earners earn around 16k yet they can afford the house and to have a SAH parent. This is because they bought when the houses were first built 12 years ago when the houses cost 16k. They also have big cars and a caravan on the drive - oh, and conservatories. One has built a swimming pool lol due to equity release - I'm a nosy neighbour and they are show offy lol.
Fast forward to when we bought 5 years ago and our house cost 120K. My OH is an architect yet we cannot afford to upsize and have me at home. We would both need to be working for that to happen.
The high house prices are the problem for those of us not lucky/old enough to have jumped on the ladder at the right time and have lots of equity