Teacher assaulted my son - what to do?

Claire3121

skintchick wrote: »

This isn;t helpful, but when I was at school teachers used to chuck stuff around all the time and no-one ever complained. It's hardly assault. (and I'm only 34 so not exactly ancient!)

Im 36 and that was a regular occorance at school too,esp with one teacher who would throw anything close to hand at those not paying attention. I feel very sorry for teachers nowadays who cant disipline pupils for fear of this kind of thing happening.

bestpud

My first thought is the teacher must have been at the end of his tether and had clearly had a gutfull of your son chatting during the lesson - I mean, can you imagine how frsutrating that is for a teacher and any pupils who actually want to learn?

I think I can say with absolute certainty that your son will have been told off for chatting before the broom head was thrown (I too cannot see why there is a broom head in the classroom either!)

Therefore, you risk reinforcing your son's behaviour if you focus all your energy on the teacher, and he may well become very smug and think he can get away with anything, as no teacher will dare argue again iyswim?

Having said all of that though, it is unacceptable to throw items at pupils, end of, and it is right the school investigate the matter.

What seems to have gone 'wrong' here, is you think the the school don't care about the incident. Am I right?

And I can see why you initially thought that. They should have got back to you about it and they should have investigated the matter and let you know the outcome.

I cannot understand why the meeting with the Head was terminated?? What was the simple question you asked, and how did you ask it? Did she say she needed more information and would get back, or did she say she was terminating the meeting because of the question you asked, or something you did?

I don't think you helped the situation at all from that point forward tbh.

I can see no reason why you refused to attend the meeting because they failed to provide the documents you wanted, as the meeting was surely designed to give you this information anyway?

If it wasn't documented as you thought, the meeting is where you could have said that, and then followed it up with a letter saying somethig like: you said this - my understanding is this - I'm not happy it has been fully investigated - what are we going to do about it? - please reply within x days.

To go away then and contact solicitors was OTT and that is where I start to have less empathy for you tbh.

The school failed to get back when they should and you have assumed they have taken no action but you don't know because you haven't given them chance to tell you what they have done. Then you have gone off half-cocked to solicitors, who have decided the case is not worth it.

Perhaps the school asked several witnesses (there will have been many of them and not just your son's mates) and they have backed up the teacher?

Or perhaps they have spoken to the teacher, put it on his record and warned him?

How will you know unless you go back to the school and give them the chance to tell you?

Only when you have the full facts, can you start thinking about other action.

You are way ahead of yourself here!

Idiophreak

I just can't see what the OP wants to achieve.

I don't think anyone really thinks the teacher through the thing "at" the student, just wanted it to hit a desk and cause a bang, for effect. Throwing the thing *is* a bit stupid...most often when I was at school the teacher would just sneak over and slam something down on the desk beside you...but still...no harm was really done and the kid's admitted that he was disrupting class.

I'd want the head to tell me the matter had be dealt with and that would be that...

[Deleted User]

dmg24 wrote: »

How has this gone from an isolated incident, where seemingly no harm was done, to a child's education being ruined?

This is no isolated incident let me assure you. I have experience with the state secondary sector and it is rare for all pupils to be attentive.

It is not fair that the OP's son was talking during the lesson and thus disrupting the other pupils' education. If he doesn't wish to learn then he should refrain from attending lessons.

So OP - stop trying to defend your son, accept that he was probably doing more than just "talking among his friends" and learn to be a better parent instead of attempting to shift blame to the the school.

A good parent upon hearing about this incident would have educated their son about not talking during lessons and not being disruptive, instead of reinforcing the view that whatever your spoilt brat does is right and that anyone in authority is wrong. You're a shockingly bad parent if you're willing to send your son into the big bad world with that attitude as it won't do him any good.

Anyway, all the best with your quest for 'justice' (and compensation )

stokefan

imho, i think your son should just take it on the chin, hes nearly an adult himself, he should be paying attention in class, im not judging you but i think you need to explain to your son that he needs to pay attention, as you have said these years are important

aliasojo

Mitchka wrote: »

This thread is unbelievable.

So people are suggesting that it's ok to throw an object at a child when they are not paying attention? That it's ok to isolate this child after the event?

I'm with you on this one. I'm really suprised at the posters who view this as acceptable. No wonder so many teenagers are full of resentment and anger. Respect is demanded of them, but little or no respect is shown to them. Surely that fact in itself is wrong? Don't confuse lobbing an item at someone as discipline btw, it's not.....it's the very behaviour we dont expect from our kids, yet it's viewed as ok to do to them? Then, when they respond in a similarly negative way (by swearing), we conveniently ignore the context and the reason and they are punished ...simply for reacting to a situation caused by the adult who was supposedly in charge.

I fully believe the lad was not snow white in all of this, I'm sure he had a large part to play, talking is one of the most disruptive things that affects a class on a daily basis, but a good teacher would have been able to control the issue without resorting to throwing something at someone. Can you think of any other situation in life where this would be ok to do?

I dont know what the answer is. I wouldn't be looking to involve Police and solicitors, I think that is a completely OTT reaction, but nor would I be happy at the school's lack of decent response to my complaint. I do question if the meeting was quite as was stated.......it would be a very strange Head Teacher who closed the meeting because of one question, no matter how possibly uncomfortable it may have been.

I think this is a situation which has got completely out of hand and I suggest you go to the school again, in a quiet manner and ask to discuss the matter with a view to moving on. I suspect at present, the school see you as the enemy rather than thinking of you as a part of an unfortunate incident which needs to be dealt with.

I would also be having a word with some of his classmates on the quiet to see if their take on the situation gels with your son's. In my experience 15 year olds do have a tendancy to exaggerate.

aliasojo

bestpud wrote: »

I think I can say with absolute certainty that your son will have been told off for chatting before the broom head was thrown (I too cannot see why there is a broom head in the classroom either!)

Just wanted to say that we had an English teacher who went by the name of Mr Brown who used to be 'throw happy'. It was sudden and intended to shock. There was no warning, no 'stop talking' first, nothing. He would lob what ever was beside him at any given time.

I spent months in his class practically wetting myself. I don't actually think I learned anything that year. :rolleyes:

freda

I haven't read the whole thread, no time, sorry.

However, could I suggest that you make some time to arrange with the school to observe your son in lessons - *without him knowing you are watching* - to see what his behaviour is really like. Most classrooms have glass doors or windows that I'm sure you could manage to watch through without being observed.

Alternatively, ask the school to get all of your son's teachers to write a (candid) report on his behaviour in class.

I am suggesting this because I used to teach, and believe you me, some kids are angels in front of their parents and complete wind up merchants in the class room. Some teachers have an innate ability to deal with this efficiently, others do not. Does your son realise that even if a teacher finds it hard to deal with behaviour management, it is not right to take advantage of that and sit in the classroom chattering and ignoring the teacher?

On that note, what is your approach towards teachers who are passionate about their subject but find it difficult to manage behaviour?

I think you need to do a bit more research before you jump in with all guns blazing.

Sirbendy

I have to ask one simple question - how many of you in here sit in classrooms NOW and see what goes on?

I'm 32...in MY day the teacher was god, did throw things etc..it was all "acceptable" - if you deserved it, you got it, stop blubbing.

NOW...teachers get treated like dirt. We've tied them in so much red tape and hysteria they can't do the job, the kids know they're legally "protected" and the teachers are pretty much impotent. Threats, but no more.

Sad to say, the kids don't give a toss. We've screwed the education system. We need to take it BACK 20 years, then we might stand a chance.

and yes, I DO see classrooms day in, day out. "good kids" to a parent may mean nothing in class, and I should bloody know. It'd turn your stomach. I love the protests, then mentioning "if you'd like to view the CCTV...I can do that.".

BOY, do they shut up fast.

aliasojo

Sirbendy wrote: »

NOW...teachers get treated like dirt. We've tied them in so much red tape and hysteria they can't do the job, the kids know they're legally "protected" and the teachers are pretty much impotent. Threats, but no more.

Sad to say, the kids don't give a toss. We've screwed the education system. We need to take it BACK 20 years, then we might stand a chance.

That I agree with.

(But the answer still isn't lobbing something at them. )