Today is a new day!

InaPickle

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for all your encouragement. I feel so selfish as I haven't poppedinto any of your diaries to follow your progress and I am sorry about that. Time just passes, and my focus is to keep myself together and to keep the work and money coming in. I will see how you all are, this weekend I will go for. . Dd and I will be working tom, saturday, simply because I made myself quite ill earlier in the week, not sleeping meant I just felt ill on Tuesday, had a horrible panic attack and ended up sleeping much of the day at my mum's and so I am on catch up. I don't think they know about my panic attacks I occasionally have and given what they have done with just knowing about my disability, its not info I want them to know unless I have to tell them. Given the lies, I really am beginning to think they are a law to themselves and fear they would take dd away from me for any reason. That's my greatest fear.

Anyway, my letter to our MP is good and I hope he will take an interest. I have focused on the fact that government policy has not been adhered to, best practice ignored, and tax payers money wasted! I'velearnt that a community assessment for me as disabled parent could be considered and I have not been offered one during this process. I am not sure if that is the same as Direct Payments, all I know is that I have a friend who is disabled, has an able bodied husband and no children and she receives help through a system to have a PA in order to help run her business. I am disabled, have no able bodied husband, have dd and yet I've been told in the past if, and it would be a big if, if I was to be accepted for Direct Payments it would effect my DLA which I had to fight for anyway. So, I feel to be able to really know what real help is out there as opposed to pointless interference and lies, I need someone who knows their stuff and who can act on my behalf. On that note, will have another cuppa and then build my business! One thing at a time!

Enjoy your tea!

poorbutrich

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

I received a letter from the Education Welfare Service last Friday and it finished me off. .

P&F, I have tears in my eyes at your resilence and passion. I personally am very angry that you've been forced to take time from your busy schedule to draft this letter when you could be spending time with your daughter.

It sounds like you have things sorted and hope the meeting goes well. Hopefully when all of these people are in one room, you'll be able to put the record straight, getting an apology from this woman who has now admitted that she has lied. Hopefully they will see what a great job you've done of raising your lovely dd and will give you some long awaited support.

Take care of yourself
PBR x

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, Ive had aletter from the Chair of Governors at the school acknowledging my complaint to the Educ Welfare service and saying he has told the Headmistress to keep him informed of progress and saying to me to copy any more correspondence to him. Have had a letter from the Head asking me if I would like someone else to attend the meeting on the 5th which would make 7 people in attendance inc me and my mum! We are talking 11% late before reg, 99.5% attendance and there will be 7 people at 1 meeting. Absolutely crazy. The fact that it has come to this because I happen to have a disability is proof in itself of how this situation has got out of control and how differently we are being treated. There are other families who are just as late as us, who have worse attendance figures, who dont have disability in the family who are simply left to get on with it. Left alone, don't have to endure social services getting involved or a meeting with so many people in attendance and made to talk about their personal situation. It makes me so mad. That said given this nightmare is for real, this particular lady I would want there, I get the feeling she understands me totally and the Head and Educ Welfare Officer who will be at the meeting would not be able to "twist" the truth or tell any more lies with her there. I simply do not trust them at all. So, I will get that arranged. Am arranging to see my doc this week as she also said she would be more than happy to provide a letter in support of our case - she feels its more than reasonable to expect me to have the occasional "bad morning" where getting dd to school on time is simply harder to do - and so I want to ask for a letter saying that to take to the meeting.

Had a very nice weekend with dd. I do so love her. Worked all saturday but had some good sleeps which I've needed after not sleeping well with all the complaint stuff going on. So, feeling refreshed and ready to start the new week.

taxi73

glad to see you've had a good weekend and caught up.on your sleep.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Have now heard from my local MP. An appt has been made for the 16th to see him. Have heard nothing from the Director of Children services and I posted my complaint to them a week ago yesterday. Have spoken to Care for Carers to check if the lady attending the meeting with us next tues needed any info re complaint. She and the MP are astounded by what has happened, how things have been dealt with. So, the knock on to all of this is that my dd could not have had a worst start to the new year. Mum thinks its because of this situation with the school and I am someone who can not hide how I feel so I am to blame for any disruption to dd as I have openly cried at home and have had to have sleeps when I should otherwise be playing with dd simply because I have not been sleeping at night. My sleep ability is absolutely dreadful right now. So tired today. Its an inset day today so have been at home with dd and had one of her friends round to help her mum out who is working today. Ive been working from home today and have just felt sick in the pit of my stomach. Worst case scenario, we change schools. Dd is simply not listening or behaving in class. Shes been so good up till now, in her first three years, but since the start of term shes had 4 time out sessions. We are trying to nip it in the bud. Bless her, from her perspective, shes missing her daddy , she's caring about me falling or getting bruises from where I lose my balance and knock into furniture to stop me from falling and she knows somethings up with the school because of my tears and sleeplessness. I went to the docs yesterday and shes going to do a letter of support to the school for me. I confided in her my worst fears, that someone somewhere might think I am not a capable mum and take dd away, and shes assured me that shouldn't happen, but then this whole scenario with the school shouldn't be happening when I've sought advice about it all, and it is. So, anyway, I have to focus on dd and assure her she is loved but be firm and keep on top of her behaviour at school.

Work wise, my new team member is just so lovely and we met up yesterday to go get her started. My orders this week exceeded £1100 and by next thursday everything will be upstraight re the bills. Have even had amessage from MBNA on my telephone to call them re my complaint letter dated 1st Aug so maybe they are going to lower my interest rate. I can but hope. I will call them this eve. Am just about to watch a dvd with dd and then do some deliveries and then tom we are working as today her friend has been round and I am hoping it won't be raining or pouring down tom as it is at the mo!

taxi73

they won't take DD away from you ..please don't worry about that..if anything they may be forced to give you some help with getting her to school or similar.You are a good mum to your daughter x

beanielou

I can only echo what Taxi says.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, developments galore!

Mum and I had our appt with the school on Tuesday. Mum thought it went well. True, they apologised. True, they will now allow me to use the disabled parking bay in the staff car park on our "bad" mornings. However, to me for all the apologies in the world whilst its good that they have, I also wanted reassurance that the referral would be corrected where it is untrue and that was not forthcoming. Infact, the Education Welfare Officer was at the meeting and she sat there and said that I had at some time said dd was difficult to look after. I said no I hadn't, and mum asked her to provide the proof, and she couldn't. Was she trying to save face I wonder as I have a written apology from her for having said that in the referral, and yet it felt like she was trying to make me out to be the liar in front of all the attendees at the meeting. I did say as it felt like it was getting quite heated at one time, I will walk out as to me it was pointless talking about "transparency" when she was being anything but. Similarly, the claim that dd is regularly emotionally upset was not backed up with proof. Thats three times Ive requested it in writing, and at the meeting and nothing so as far as I'm concerned I am treating that statement as another lie. It's important these statements are removed because they suggest a multitude of negative things about my abilities to look after dd. How dare they do that to us. And over such great attendance rates. My feeling is that if they are taking that view now, and say I had a serious fall in time to come, then what are they going to think then, and write about us. I just don't trust them at all. Anyway, it turns out that during the last month we have been late 6.8% of the time, I guess that is 1 or 2 times and dd's attendance to date is 100%. I just wonder there must be families with worse percentages, yet they have not been reduced to this nightmare and for that reason too I've stated to them that I am still seeing my MP next week. Also, It's great they've apologised but at the end of the day its those comments on that referral that need to be changed and no one is prepared to correct the lies at this time. What the school have offered is to offer us financial help to pursue an after school club activity where I haven't booked dd in because of finances. Mum thinks that shows how wrong they know they've been but whatever the reason, that was a nice gesture and one I will be taking up for dd. So, my focus is now the MP appt. Parentlink contacted me today. They recognise I need someone to help me "fight" for further support in terms of our day to day living and they are sending me some info. It seems to be working against me that I am working with a disability, the help would be more readily avail if I wasn't sadly! However, I will face that battle once this one is over. Maybe the Mp will help me, you never know!!

Moving on, recd a letter from MBNA. Surprise, surprise, they are reducing my interest rate from 29% to 9.9% following my complaint to them and the threat of the Ombudsman. They won't refund any interest. What do you think anyone reading if indeed there is anyone out there!!!. I'm inclined to accept and just be thankful but should I fight on from the point of view that to answer my complaint and reach this decision, the situation has been in limbo since January so I have paid 10 months excessive interest. Other news, all just about there financially. Keeping it together. Working hard, the usual, doing the best I can. I just need my best to be good enough!

taxi73

just accept it's on 9.9 as thats a good rate.

looks like the schoool are trying to help and parentlink may help you to get her to school in time by taking her or something.

Verbatim

Dear P & F
You're doing a great job battling on all fronts. Do take care of yourself and accept as much support as you can/ feel comfortable with. I'm glad your mum has really come up trumps in supporting you and that good things seem to be coming your way after all the turmoil the school has put you through.
Not sure about MNBA but can't you accept the lower interest rate and still pursue your claim with the ombudsman?
As your dd gets older I expect things will get easier and you'll look back at this diary and be amazed at how difficult things were "then".