Today is a new day!

Keeping_Motivated

Good for you PAF, you are completely right and I am glad you are contacting services that can back you up. They are treating you unfairly and its disgraceful plus also they are surely highlighting and making your daughter feel 'different' rather than by being understanding and helping her (as well as you) to feel supported so that she just 'melts in' when she arrives rather than feeling she/you has done something wrong so therefore creating guilt feelings! I'm fuming for you both. Good luck x

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

It has been a very stressful, tearful week here. Have felt a lot of resentment which is never a healthy place to be. have tried to rationalise all that has happened, however at the end of the day Im still unclear as to what happens now. Mum has been absolutely terrific.
Social Services came round on Weds afternoon. The woman saw me, mum and dd. In her report she was required to do a carers assessment for dd, and to ask why dd was always tearful at school. Well, the first we knew that the latter was supposedly an issue was when mum called a Special Needs Dept at the end of last week and was put through to the Education Welfare person who verbally told her that dd was tearful. As a result of that conversation given I have never been advised of this by the school, I promptly made an appt to see dd teacher on tues so I was in the know before the appt on weds. It transpires she knows nothing of dd being tearful. I asked dd gently if she had been crying at school, and she said no. So, when the s worker came round I explained that as far as we were concerned there were no issues with dd in that regard. The social worker is going to investigate why a lie was essentially detailed in the report to her. Secondly, the assessment on dd was done but to what practical end I do not know. The Sw does a report, dd can still not attend any help group till she is 8 next year so how this helps us I do not know right now. It will just verify that the issues in our home are not made up, that I am not telling untruths. With regard to the lateness, the sw said that was a matter for us to take up with the school. However, as far as Im concerned there is nothing to discuss. I can not go over the same old, same old when they know it already. Anything that happens from now on in will continue to be with mum. I just go to pieces. It all threatens our v way of life as far as Im concerned, our independence, our ability to be taken seriously as a family unit and what I ongoingly strive to achieve, that is a happy, stable life for dd. From my perspective, there are parents who sometimes take their children out of school for a day here or there and are not referred to SS for doing so. Us? Despite dd having 100% attendance, We are reported for the times we are late for which there are genuine reasons, and even when the assessment on dd has been done, there are no concrete ways forward, just a report that is done. What a waste of time and money. I already have who Im going to call etc for dd when she is 8. I looked into it years ago, I do not need a SW to do a report unless they can offer any practical assistance and right now there is nothing. So, I will just carry on as I am, doing my best, At some point my best will have to be good enough.

Re other areas, finances are just about there. This year to date has been v hard and a bit of a rollercoaster, and yet here we are at the end of May and everything is paid up to date. Things are reducing. Ive been telling SS I am not a miracle woman with regard to getting dd to school, but in fact I am a miracle when it comes to finances! I will have money for my mortgage by the end of the week when it is due.. My retail is going v well. Am really going for it. Target this 4 week period 5K retail. Sold so far in week 1 £1400 with £130 to put through already this coming week too. So, am v confident. I would love to fit in team building too however, I just have to accept that I need to work on areas of getting money NOW, and my retailing gives me that. Im still doing team building bits, just on a smaller scale.

The appt at the advice centre went well, however much of it was with me crying in the room about the impending SS visit and what my rights were etc in it all. I had got myself into such a state about it all I cant tell you. Sleepless nights thinking about it too. So, another appt has been made for bginning of June. However, I think we will be ok if the following can be done:
1. My mortgage will reduce by £140 in October.
2. Liase with MBNA about reducing the interest rate.
3. I am likely to be able to get a further 25% discount off my council tax as I am disabled and have a stair lift in the house. That would be a saving of some £30.
4. Dad is going to check the terms ofmy life cover on my mortgage. Having looked at it myself to see if I could make a claim after the snow there were so many clauses that it left me wondering if it was worth having such a comprehensive policy at all. I pay £95 to have my disability covered. I think I could at least halve that if I just have death and illness cover. So, thats on my investigation list.
5. Have given a provisional end of tax year figure to tax credits which should up my payt from them. I invisage by £50 a month or so. My tax return will be done properly in next month, but my earnings were down on what was expected largely due to the impact of the snow.
5. Am also going to make enquiries as to what would happen if I reduce my hours and whether I would qualify for any further help via WTC and indeed DLA since if I decide to reduce my hours it will simply because I can no longer keep up what I am doing energy and mobility wise. I am having to accept the tiredness issue is an ongoing battle and that then effects my walking ability. Mum is convinced my walking is more laboured, I reluctantly have to agree. I never want to give up my business, but then this last sales period I was the 2nd top retailer, I was the only distributor doing it all on my own in the top 8, and I just love that buzz of achieving against the odds!! Of being a free spirit. So what if it takes me hours longer, so many of my customers keep me going, are my inspiration to keep going, I have such lovely friends in m customers where ever Im working. I want to keep that as long as poss! Im keeping our home - just, everything is up to date so something is working !!! Dd feels secure in our home, she knows Im doing my best for our future. That matters to me greatly.

What an essay, but there you go. A week in the life of Paf!!!

poorbutrich

HI Paf
Sorry to hear about a very unnecessarily stressful week. And kudos to your parents for being supportive during this trying time.
At a time when truancy rates were soaring, it's testament to your hard work and dedication that your dd gets to school a few minutes late when some people don't bother taking their children to school at all!
Just wondered who you were dealing with at your dd's school and perhaps if you could instigate a meeting with her form tutor rather than the head teacher so that they can see how hard you work and why dd is occasionally late. If the first approach came from you, they would, perhaps, have less reason to criticise?
Take care of yourself!
xx

dawnybabes

Not sure if this has been mentioned before but could you do a swop with a mum, she takes the kids and you collect the kids ?

If your mum has no joy with the head teacher then go to the govenors, they might be able to help/force HT to "behave"

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

dawnybabes wrote: »

Not sure if this has been mentioned before but could you do a swop with a mum, she takes the kids and you collect the kids ?

If your mum has no joy with the head teacher then go to the govenors, they might be able to help/force HT to "behave"

Hi Dawnybabes

Yes, this was suggested to me by the Social Worker, and I do very very occasionally ask another mum to take dd when it is clear there is no hope of me being able to get out of the house in my dressing gown let alone my day clothes! However, the only day I collect dd from school is a weds, tues and thurs mum collects her, mon and fri she is at an after school club. I am not in a position to go out of my way from work to collect other children, take them home and then go back to work. That will only add to the tiredness of the day, the costs in petrol and trying to keep my time managed and get my work done. It would add more than the 5/10 mins we are talking about so I would rather not put myself in that position. Take care

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, update on school issue. I called the welfare officer for the school who was unavailable, left a message to say that the meeting had gone ahead with sw. An assessment was done re dd carers role, and as far as I could see this will only verify Im not lying about sit. Nothing practical can be done to help dd till next year. Tearfulness that the welfare officer had reported was as far as we and her teacher was concerned was untrue so we were unsure where she receivedher info regarding this. And that I will continue to do my best as I always have to get dd to school on time.

Moving on to more positive things. Am really feeling v positive about finances. True, things are v tight, but I keep reminding myself everything is upstraight. I no longer use credit. Its all about what I earn and my debit cards. Now its the next step of building a reserve fund. That said, a friend of a friend works in the council tax dept and is sending me some forms to apply for a further 25% off my council tax bill due to the fact I receive DLA. Tax credits owe me money although Ive been told it will be a few weeks before they advise me how much. My electricity/gas dd can be reduced next month when I will be in cr with them after the winter usage. And of course just 4 months till my mortgage reduces by £140! Yes, its all going to go well. Re Kl am targeting sales nearing £2500-£3K by end of tomorrow for the last 2 weeks. I have had some terrific orders from customers, some of the largest in amount being phoned through to me so I haven't even had to walk out of the front door to get them!. Do the same again in the next 2 weeks, and my overall pay for the 4 weeks will be more than I need it to be by a significant amount. And I have more pictures going for auction on the 10th June. And more of dds clothes to sell. Yes, its a case of keeping my head down, holding my nerve and making sure my best is good enough for the task at hand. Oh, and I am going to review my life cover definitely, a work inprogress obtaining quotes but I want to reduce it by at least half thereby giving a saving of at least £50!

Another thought going through my head is to think about the possibility of doing more in the summer in working my Kl business, and less in the winter when it is cold and my mobility definately suffers as a result. It needs some thinking over and careful planning, but my thought is that in the summer you have the lighter eves and the warmer weather, if dd works with me in school hols so she isnt at the hol club every day we can take picnics with us and make the day nice for her too. We would be together. There is a little more flexibility than in the winter. By working less hours in the winter I could avoid being out in the dark when Im more susceptible to tripping up, not out in the cold so much which really effects my walking. Summer I would earn more than I need, winter a little less, but then the excess income from the summer would be a reserve to help cover bills in the winter. It could work. Needs some thinking through! Will stop woffling now!

dawnybabes

Could you not push for your school to set up a walking bus scheme ? http://www.brightkidz.co.uk/walking-to-school/walking-bus.html

They could pick children up along the route saving all the stress ?

InaPickle

Glad to see your positive frame of mind, PaF. And your summer/winter seems a good idea, if you can feasibly make it work. :T

Long live the good times.

Verbatim

Yay to everything where you need it to be. Good luck with building up the reserve fund. WTG!

Great idea about the walking bus scheme. About time that ruddy school did something positive!!

taxi73

That sounds really positive and like a good plan