**HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPUD - Daily Chat Tuesday 30th June 2009

Burlesque_Babe

Can I add a tale of the experience of my OH and living close by to an ex? Although admittedly it's a lot closer than 150m!!!

His marital home was at the end of a cul de sac and after they split he went to live with his new girlfriend. Anyway, after they split in the mid 90s he bought a house back in his old cul de sac about half way down, but it meant his son walked by every day on his way to school and his ex wife drove by every time she left the cul de sac. He says it was just coincidence, I often think it was so he could easily see his son.

Apparently as his son was growing up (he was 4 when they split), all sorts of nastiness also grew. I think she hates him being so close geographically and it impacted on how she let their son interact with my OH and in turn the relationship between OH and his ex wife - it got very, very nasty.

Even now there is tension and I feel his DS is often stuck in the middle I think he feels torn between pleasing his Mum and then his Dad being so close by and then trying to please him. I really feel for the lad, I think he finds it hard at times when he is home from university.

Obviously I'm not saying you'd ever put Erin in that position, but I feel that they live too close to each other and can still have a bit of a nosey and give their opinion on each others lives and I wouldn't want Big G to give you both grief when you are just trying to get on with stuff.

LouiseJ

Thanks BB xxxxxx

I am getting there slowly but surely. Trouble is I am a numbery person not much of a wordy person, will have to work on that though if I am to be observing student teachers:rolleyes: (acutally I have done this all year but I am very hard on myself)

Need to get my head in a positive frame of mind.

becky_rtw

I am meeting my step dad in an hour for beers - whoopee

Burlesque_Babe

well, if you need any more blurb, just chuck the bit up and I can cobble something together and you can change it so it fits what you do

Talk about the importance of initial assessment and then using the results of that to influence your future planning of the course and making adjustments in light of the initial assessment - very in with Ofsted at the moment so should score brownie points if you point out you already do it

Lucifa73

Hmm - good mood has vanished *!!!!!!* like that

Another girl in the group started to cry when I was talking about nathan - turns out she had a wee boy called nathan but he died shortly after being born and today is the first day she's heard someone else use the same name and her birth story is so similar to mine (2 weeks late, induced, on hormone drip, falling heart beat, forceps...) the only difference being forceps didn't work for her so they went to emergency c section:eek: made me think how different things could be.... and now I feel useless that I'm 'ill' and not making the most of the time I have with my Nathan:o

Sorry to dump this here... I suppose I should really use my diary but don't think anyone reads it other than Beanie or Lucielle ...

Wish I could talk to my Mum about this stuff

bookseller1980

Is it beer o'clock yet?
I have now taken £24 all day. Not good.
I need to mow the lawn but it might be a bit too warm.

(Land_of)_Maz

i called our housing association officer for existing place, she can't do anything to assist in our current situation or circumvent the system as such, although if i've lived there as long as i have i have right to tenancy as Erin's parent... but i told her i didn't really want to go down that route unless i really had to. i'd rather walk away. i might however wave the fact under his nose and see if he concedes.......

i have an appointment with Aberdeenshire Council housing officer tomorrow at 1315, so that might give me an idea of how i can progress...


change the subject now, i'm bored!

(Land_of)_Maz

Lucifa73 wrote: »

Hmm - good mood has vanished *!!!!!!* like that

Another girl in the group started to cry when I was talking about nathan - turns out she had a wee boy called nathan but he died shortly after being born and today is the first day she's heard someone else use the same name and her birth story is so similar to mine (2 weeks late, induced, on hormone drip, falling heart beat, forceps...) the only difference being forceps didn't work for her so they went to emergency c section:eek: made me think how different things could be.... and now I feel useless that I'm 'ill' and not making the most of the time I have with my Nathan:o

Sorry to dump this here...

Wish I could talk to my Mum about this stuff

babes...... as tragic as this is for her, this is her issue, and i think it is a little unfair of her to foist it onto you..... why was she in the group? did she have 2 babies?

edit - am i being dense? what group was it? <goes off to read>

sallyx

Luc :grouphug: You may feel and you have an illness but you doing the right thing, you are tackling it, taking medication for it and talking about it. There isn't much else you can do and its not your fault that the other baby died hun. I know it puts things into perspective but we all do that all the time. I have days when Bea and I clash all day long, she annoys me and I can't wait for her to go to bed so I can have some "me" time. When I check on her fast asleep in bed I look at her and think what a crap mum I am, how she really is a good child and feel guilty as hell. Its all part of being a parent, if you didn't feel bad then there would be something to worry about IYSWIM

You will pull through this, you will and just how we always look at people who have more than we have and are jelous there will also be people who are worse off than us..that life

Mwah to you xx

(Land_of)_Maz

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

Can I add a tale of the experience of my OH and living close by to an ex? Although admittedly it's a lot closer than 150m!!!

His marital home was at the end of a cul de sac and after they split he went to live with his new girlfriend. Anyway, after they split in the mid 90s he bought a house back in his old cul de sac about half way down, but it meant his son walked by every day on his way to school and his ex wife drove by every time she left the cul de sac. He says it was just coincidence, I often think it was so he could easily see his son.

Apparently as his son was growing up (he was 4 when they split), all sorts of nastiness also grew. I think she hates him being so close geographically and it impacted on how she let their son interact with my OH and in turn the relationship between OH and his ex wife - it got very, very nasty.

Even now there is tension and I feel his DS is often stuck in the middle I think he feels torn between pleasing his Mum and then his Dad being so close by and then trying to please him. I really feel for the lad, I think he finds it hard at times when he is home from university.

Obviously I'm not saying you'd ever put Erin in that position, but I feel that they live too close to each other and can still have a bit of a nosey and give their opinion on each others lives and I wouldn't want Big G to give you both grief when you are just trying to get on with stuff.

thanks BB - interesting tale....

at least we shouldn't have to pass one another's doors this way, as streets are laid out in such a way..

but it kinda ties in with the confusion for Erin thing i said earlier, which i wouldn't want to cause......