Am I better off not working?

Prudent

I am sorry I haven't read all the thread as a bit rushed this morning. I do remember how helpful you were to people on MSE and am pleased to see you back.

I went through a very bad situations seven years ago with a very messy divorce plus some appalling extras. I kept working in a high pressure job and it was the biggest mistake I made during the period. It cosiderably increased stress levels which were already at breaking point. I wasn't well paid though and would have only been £8 a month worse off if I hadn't worked.

For my daughter's sake as much as mine, I should have made a different decision - even if only for a year. Like yourself, I am a hard worker and would have got back in the workplace. I would really encouarge you to put yourself and your children first just now.

Keep us updated and hopefully we see more of you now

MortgageMamma

Thank you so much, you lot are a wonderful bunch! Yesterday I had a really good day - I feel so much better. And you have all really helped me be brave enough to come out of work and take some time doing what I really want to do - as an ex workaholic coming out of work really takes me out of my comfort zone. I'm going to try and sort benefits etc today and there's an open day on thurs at the college I wish to go to so I guess the ball is well and truly rolling.

One thing though....when I put my claim in for income support, how do I go about telling them whats happened and why I "can't" work anymore? surely I cannot just fill a form in saying "don't want to work cos husband left me and its not worth my while and oh by the way I wanna go college in September"? - I don't want to hide the truth but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot either if you understand waht I am saying?

bestpud

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Thank you so much, you lot are a wonderful bunch! Yesterday I had a really good day - I feel so much better. And you have all really helped me be brave enough to come out of work and take some time doing what I really want to do - as an ex workaholic coming out of work really takes me out of my comfort zone. I'm going to try and sort benefits etc today and there's an open day on thurs at the college I wish to go to so I guess the ball is well and truly rolling.

One thing though....when I put my claim in for income support, how do I go about telling them whats happened and why I "can't" work anymore? surely I cannot just fill a form in saying "don't want to work cos husband left me and its not worth my while and oh by the way I wanna go college in September"? - I don't want to hide the truth but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot either if you understand waht I am saying?

They don't ask because your children are young enough for you to claim IS as a lone parent. They did not ask me.

If they do ask, you can just say you want to stop work right now as you need time to sort yourself out. They cannot refuse you the benefit, so don't worry.

When you go to the JCP appt, you have to speak to a lone parent advisor who will tell you have to attend a meeting with them about once every six months and they can help with getting back to work etc, but that you are only obliged to attend.

Mine started asking me about work etc and tbh, I became very emotional as it was all very raw and I didn't want to leave my job at the time, but didn't feel I could do the hours.

She then looked at the info in front of her and realised I'd only recently separated (three days earlier) and only just handed in my notice, and said 'you just need some time to get your head together, don't you' and that was that.

They were very rushed that day as it was when we had the bad snowfall and many advisors were off work, so she was under the impression I'd been a lone parent for a long while and was looking to get back into work.

I hope that has reassured you a little.

MortgageMamma

Just a quick update - all claims in, resiged from job and I've an appointmnet at college on Thursday! Hoorah! celebratory bottle of red tonight!

mummytofour

DUTR wrote: »

Throw the prozac away, best to deal with the low times naturally, you seem a bright enough lady and have done the maths, for some indeed they are better off not working, however it is a difficult roundabout to get off, so you have to look at the long term benefits of whether to stick with a career or not . Good luck on the long winding road.

Sorry I cant agree here. I was a few weeks ago at an urgent mental health assessment at 1AM with a friend who was un-medicated and almost unable to speak. 5 weeks later on meds she is 100000 times better.

Health really does come first above everything, please keep that in mind (((hug)))

James123_2

I've been hiding in the shadows & reading the thoroughly useful replies to your post. I'd suggest you grab a big bottle of wine and watch Julie Walters in the film Educating Rita. The parallels with your own position aren't all there, but it's a powerful film with a great message that should blow away any doubts you might have about your own situation. That's my rather limited advice, anyway!

As for teaching, the job really needs people with a wider view on life who have had previous 'real world' experience. And this sounds exactly like you .. so go for it. It can be the best job in the world (spoken by an ex-teacher).
Best Wishes!
J

Floxxie

Thought you might be interested in this website:
http://www.tda.gov.uk/Recruit/becomingateacher.aspx

Sorry if you have already seen it.

I'm 35 with 3 little ones aged 1,3 and 8 and I am doing a degree with the OU. I would love to go to uni to do it but wouldn't get any help as I did a degree years ago. It is tough but it is for me.

Enjoy your time being a student.