The Compers Inn - Part 21

VelvetGlove

ikkle87 wrote: »

is it Friday tomorrow?

Yep it is, that's why I'm in a hotel tonight as I have to go into our other training centre tomorrow which is up here & not down there where I live. OK that made sense in my head

ikkle87

VelvetGlove wrote: »

Yep it is, that's why I'm in a hotel tonight as I have to go into our other training centre tomorrow which is up here & not down there where I live. OK that made sense in my head

lol just checking, Friday means the HQ treasure hunt thingy mi jiggy and friday4

mad_gemma

anyone watching BB?
the painting task is brilliant and the critic? Hilarious

feeling a bit.. meh. this evening. feeling very self conscious and not sure why..

joho

Evening all! Bit late for me but been to chub club - lost 4.5lbs so am quite happy! Having a large vodka to celebrate while catching up on a few comps!

See this here - do alan and hazel sound like the very same person or is it just me? Both newbies too!

ikkle87

joho wrote: »

Evening all! Bit late for me but been to chub club - lost 4.5lbs so am quite happy! Having a large vodka to celebrate while catching up on a few comps!

See this here - do alan and hazel sound like the very same person or is it just me? Both newbies too!

Well done Joho, great weight loss.

gerturdeanna

Evening all.
Hows tricks??
I'll add the same people from the TT comp before too if thats okay??
Anyways back off now! Hi and bye!

joho

ikkle87 wrote: »

Well done Joho, great weight loss.

Thank you ikkle! Was first week so very motivated. Easy to eat nowt but salad when it's warm and can't be bothered cooking! :rolleyes: Also had Chinese to treat myself but it was pretty rubbish! So will stick to vodka!!!!

ikkle87

I'm feeling inspired by PMS, hope you dont mind

---

My wife sat
down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked,
'What's on
TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight
started...


*****************************

*************




My wife and I
were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I
turned to
her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she
answered.

I then said, "Is that your final
answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying,
"Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
friend."

And then the fight
started....


******************************************




Saturday
morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped
quietly into
the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out
into a
torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into
the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad
all
day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and
slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you
believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's
how the fight started...


******************************************




I rear-ended a
car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the
other
driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo
stressed
and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
He was a
DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM
NOT
HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then
which one are you?"

And then the fight
started.....


*****************************************




My wife was
hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I
want
something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom
scale.

And then the fight
started...


******************************************




When I got
home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive...
so, I
took her to a petrol station.

And then the fight
started...


******************************************




After
retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The
woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my
age. I
looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told
the woman
that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back
later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
chest
is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about
my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You
should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability,
too.'

And then the fight
started...


******************************************




My wife and I
were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a
drunken
lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know
her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand
she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear
she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who
would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And
then the fight started...


******************************************




I took my wife
to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll
have the
steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried
about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for
herself."

And then the fight
started...


******************************************




A woman was
standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what
she
saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly..
I
really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied,
'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight
started.....

ikkle87

joho wrote: »

Thank you ikkle! Was first week so very motivated. Easy to eat nowt but salad when it's warm and can't be bothered cooking! :rolleyes: Also had Chinese to treat myself but it was pretty rubbish! So will stick to vodka!!!!

Ugh don't mention vodka what diet are you on? xx

diddlepops

Hi all - thanks for the messages this afternoon!

I am back on and calmer - sorry for the outburst!

Not done any comps yet ending 03/07 so need to crack on.

Too hot though!

Hugs to all and fairy dust all around.

Ru xxxxx