Unaccompanied child on a train journey..

tsstss7

My main concern here is that money is the driving force behind this change and not that you have noticed that dgs is too old to need accompanying on his trips therefore I would say it probably is too soon for this change to happen.

My son is 12 this year and there is no way I would allow him on a 2 hr long train journey with many stops along the way on his own. There is just too big a margin for error there in my mind. I also seriously doubt you could get a british rail employee to look out for him on the journey.

In fact we (his dad and me ) have only just agreed to put our son on a local bus to his access visits and that is being met both ends!

My concerns would be that however sensible they appear there are always times when they (boys of this age I mean) act completely randomly and although I trust my child in himself I'm not sure he could deal with issues such as rough children, strange adults and so on. There is little to no supervision on a train so if slightly older children decided to pick on him I doubt he would get off lightly and we all know you can't rely on adults to step in if anything like that were to happen.

I would suggest maybe splitting the cost with his dad maybe you do one visit and he does the other. Or as another poster suggested decrease frequency of visits and increase the time spent there instead.

NoAngel

I went on a 10 hour plane journey on my own to the Caribbean when I was 13 to visit ny Dad. Was really good, felt so grown up, and was completely fine

Becles

I guess it depends on the child.

My 12 year old is mature and sensible. He would probably manage it fine and I wouldn't worry about him.

My 10 year old is a complete scatterbrain and he'd be the one who got off at the wrong stop, or left half his belongings on the train or something like that.

He even managed to get lost on a plane last year! He'd gone to the loo and the stewardess told him to cross the galley to use the loo on the other side as it was vacant. He came out, forgot he'd crossed the plane, then headed down the other aisle and got confused as we were not there :rolleyes:

mspig

Think it would depend on a few things
1) whether the train stopped at stations on route or was a straight there train
2) If he had to change trains
3) If the train stopped or he has to change what the area is like where these events happen
4) If the child is confident and the mother has enough confidence to allow this to happen.

I get the train regularly and on fridays they are nearly always packed at the time your stating as its early finish for the workers, so this usually is better that there just being one or two on the train(for safety reasons).

Couldn't his dad get a family pass for the train which gives 1/3 off adult prices and 1/2 off child price - there was a threat on the grabbit for a free one a while ago that lasted a couple of months then in july/aug you can apply for a half price one(full price is £26.00 for the year)

MrsTinks

In my view busses and planes are very different to trains... Plane: the airline actually take responcibility for you and you're "signed for" so to speak when you are handed over one end and again when your guardian etc picks you up the other end.
Busses - 1 or 2 exits from the bus - reasonably easy for the driver to make sure he gets off at the right place and limited amount of people on the bus for him to come into contact with and even then the bus driver can still see what is going on.
Train - LOADS of doors he could use to get off unseen - far too many people could potentially interact with him unseen for my liking and there is no chance of the driver seeing anything or keeping an eye on to make sure he got off at the right place...
If you don't want him to spot you or your daughter then maybe a friend he doesn't know too well could be convinced to do the journey for you?

Savvy_Sue

I was travelling from Waterloo to Woking on my own at younger than this age, put on the train by my dad and met by my godfather, then doing the same the other end.

And I think DS3 was only 11 when we put him on a train from Reading to Bristol, and he'd NEVER been on that journey before! :rotfl:

So send in the NSPCC, clearly I'm completely irresponsible! :rotfl:

Seriously, ask him how he feels about it, but it really doesn't seem like a good time to reduce contact: it's not his fault dad's lost his job, and if he's already got 'issues' at school then something like this could make things worse.

ailuro2

You wouldn't be asking the question if you thought it would be fine for him.

Look into the cost of Dad getting the bus through then both getting the bus back, or Dad coming through and staying in a cheap B&B overnight.

Joyful

I had a problem when my Daughter aged 10 started a school that was 2 bus rides away. This included getting off one and walking 5 minutes to the next bus stop. Throughout the holidays we did the trip about 3 times together and after that she was confident about the journey. As your Grandson has done this journey many times you may find he feels very confident and grown up if allowed to do this.

tanith

Rachel85 wrote: »

tanith wrote: »

its a journey of over 2hrs there and 2hrs back making a likely journey of 5hrs QUOTE]

I thought you said the journey was an hour?

If you or your daughter sees him onto the train at one end and his dad can be trusted to meet him from the train at the other (perhaps a quick text to dad to say what seat and carriage he is in, etc) then I can't see how it would be any different to a bus ride. If you think he can't be trusted, try him once and if he doesn't adhere to conditions such as phone on, etc then he doesn't get to go again...

The actual train journey is about an hour but its a 15min walk to the bus, wait for bus , short bus journey but on Friday rush hour in London this can be as much as 30/40 mins , so I would allow an hour to get to the train station plus wait for the train and the hours train journey. This could easily turn into a 3hr journey on Friday afternoon then have to come back so easily 5hrs.. Plus the return on Sundays..

Dad is not amenable to change (won't/can't have a sensible discussion and plan the thing properly) and hasn't actually discussed with Mum, just sent his son the ticket in the post and presumed things would just go according to his plan.. my daughter is reluctant to upset his plan because she knows he will kick off but just feels that for her sons safety it needs to be planned better...

Anyway thanks everyone for the support and suggestions we shall see what my daughter decides tomorrow...

Primrose

If the lad feels confident about doing it, I would be tempted to let him go alone. After all, he is the same age when lots of children will be travelling unaccompanied to new secondary schools, going on buses or trains alone. Does he have a mobile phone to use in case of emergency? If he does, run through with him in advance of what to do if certain scenarios happen so he has a back-up plan. This will enable you and him to feel more confident. If he has to change trains, make sure he knows who to approach to check and ask to ensure he's getting on the right train and then let him go. If necessary, get him to phone you en route to reassure you that everything is OK. Sooner or later all fledglings have to fly. The first trip unaccompanied will always the worst but it's part of growing up.