Would you be concerned about your 18 year old talking

merlin68

To a man on facebook who was in care for battering his own mother, been to prostitutes and has sex over the web cam and sex with lesbians. I have talked to her but what else can i do.
Would you class him as a pervert.

Pee

Yes and yes. That said, I wouldn't tell an 18 year old not to do something, usually the best way of getting them to do something.

Is it possible to pretend to ignore it and keep an eye on what she's doing?

Does she have problems meeting boys and men face to face in normal life? I am wondering is she very shy. Sometimes computer /written contact can be easier. Maybe suggesting a normal dating site would be better, or help her to get out and about to meet people?

MrsTinks

She's 18 - unless she has learning difficulties then she's now old enough to make her own choices.
Would I class him as a pervert for using the internet for sex? No... or at least if I did then I think half the worlds population probably ought to be classed as perverts. Using prostitutes... although not commendable then it's not like he's the first or last bloke to do so... As for sex with lesbians... slight point here - if a woman has sex only with women she's a lesbian - if she has partners of both genders she's bi-sexual - and how many guys fantasise of having sex with "lesbians" (or probably more accurately with more than one woman?)
The only part that would honestly worry me is the "has been in care" - do you mean jail or mental health care?

From what you have posted... no I wouldn't class him as a pervert... but then there is no context to judge it with really... like is he 50+, what kind of sex etc etc

Mini_Bear

He may just have a very active imagination.........

trixietoes

Yes I would consider him a pervert and a potential danger to my daughter.

The thing is as a previous poster said, she is 18 and there isn't a massive amount that can be done to stop the chat.

It's one of those dilemma's... do you persist on trying to stop it, which could push them closer together ....or try not to give it any attention and hope it all fizzles out.

It's a hard decision.

Maybe talk to her and voice your concerns about his past history and potential danger to her. But by the same token say you trust her, she is an adult, and if she should ever decide to meet him then she must tell you.. and maybe try to set some ground rules around it.

Obviously I hope that she never would want to meet this animal though.

Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

honeypop

No I wouldn't, sex on a webcam, with 'lesbians' (as above, they're actually not lesbians if they had sex with him) and with prostitutes counts for a large proportion of men nowadays, and you could hardly say the majority of men are perverts. Althoguh slightly extreme, these are pretty regular things nowadays.

Being in care... how long ago was this? You say what it was for, but it could have been along time ago and a lot of people reform.

How old is this man?

honeypop

trixietoes wrote: »

Yes I would consider him a pervert and a potential danger to my daughter.

Could I ask why? What specifically makes you think he's a pervert from what was said in the OP?

I'm not saying you're wrong, I am just curious which of these things that a lot of people do (except the mother battering) mean he should be classed as a pervert. Knowing what some of the lads get up to from DH's sports club (including the 18 years olds), there is nothing out of the ordinary here.

windswept

I would think that he has serious issues surrounding sexual relationships to be perfectly honest, what age is he? He sounds chronically immature and maybe even unable to even form relationships in the normal sense.
I wouldn't like my 19 year old to be involved with a man like that, especially if he was older than she was.

I cetainly don't agree that a " large proportion of men" go in for the things he is claiming - only the socially inadequate ones.

People may well go in for webcam sex with their partners, but are we talking about that, or the kind of webcam sex that is uploaded onto !!!!!! sites for the dubious viewing "pleasures" of the whole world?

KellyWelly

merlin68 wrote: »

To a man on facebook who was in care for battering his own mother, been to prostitutes and has sex over the web cam and sex with lesbians. I have talked to her but what else can i do.
Would you class him as a pervert.

is this for real? Cos it made me laugh. Are you sure he's not telling porkie pies? How old is he? tbh other than the battering his own mother bit (when he was a child?) he doesn't sound like that far out there tbh.

dmg24

As others have said, the key question is how old is he?

I am also intrigued as to why, based on the information given, he would be considered a pervert?

lesley1960

yes i would class him as that , and yes there are loads of others who do the same ,

I wouldnt be happy , because you just know she is going to get hurt ,