Do they have the right?

tori.k

my foster son is having a weeks hoilday in the summerwith his gran to see her family up North,which is great as it will give me a chance to spend some one on one time with my own kids,
but as usual with them, money rear's its ugly head and she's "concerned"
I get DLA and carers for my foster son (still waiting on CB) and that comes to about £108 a week, which i will give her for the week he is not in my care.
Fair i think?

she had asked for all the recipts of what we have spent on him since he has come into our care, which wasn't a problem and she got copies of the payments for everything other than weekly shopping, EG.. glasses, new bed, clothes etc etc,

it's swings and roundabouts we paid out a lot to start with as you do with kids, but because to totals dont match and we have been" keeping her grandson at a loss" this morning she asked to see my bankstatements! ive nothing to hide but feel its to much, she knows how much i get as she checked where she stood moneywise if he lived with her...fact ive got him say's it all....does she have the right to my bankstatements?

MrsTinks

I think you have been more than open with her... she certainly has no right to see your bank statements! I would never let ANYONE see my bank statements (well possibly my husband but that's a tad different ). More to the point - what will she possibly gain from seeing them!?! I wouldn't even give her the money for the week he's not in your care... the only money I MIGHT give her is how much it would cost you to feed him for a week - the rest of the costs associated with looking after him will after all still be there right?

whitewing

I don't know what an 'official' response is, but I say that absolutely none of it is any of her business.

You foster the child; the money you receive is nothing to do with granny. (If she has concerns she needs to raise it officially).

RAS

Hi

Is this a formal foster arrangement or a private arrangement?

Oldernotwiser

I think that you've gone too far with this already. She has no right to investigate your financial affairs so I'd tell her politely to get lost. Social Services don't ask you to account for the money you receive and they're the ones responsible for the child and not his grandmother.

I'd steer clear of this situation in future and not get involved in financial discussions.

Nicki

No! Tell her to p off! If she's been given copies of receipts for expenditure and evidence of the reimbursement that you've been given in respect of these, that is more than enough to satisfy her. Why should she be able to trawl through your private expenditure!

I'm surprised to be honest that she is even entitled to ask for as much as she has. Have you checked with ss whether you were obliged to even show her what you have done? Whatever the case I think you need to set some clear boundaries here, and tell her to mind her own business about what you spend your own money on!

Zazen999

What exactly is she concerned about?

Thing is, he doesn't live with her - he lives with you.

No way would she have got a full breakdown of anything from me; you cannot possibly break down what each child/family member costs or gets as alot of it is absorbed into general family costs.

emlou2009

what does it matter to her, i dont understand?

as a foster parent you are paid to look after a child that is not yours. i think you're being over generous giving her that weeks money tbh. if its that she wants more money for that week then she obviously doesnt care enough IMHO

tori.k

No its not a private or LA fostering arrangement, no-one has PR on the lad, it an "if you dont mind him staying with you, it would save us thousands in care fee's just treat the lad as your own, dont call us we will call you maybe in another 6 months or so" LA arangment

we always knew that money was always going to be an issue with the lads family, why i kept the recipts,they hear stuff like foster parent's getting stupid amounts of money per child, and are jaded enough to think that nobody does something for nothing,
im no saint, he's was my bestfriends lad, and she would have done the same for me, i just cant seem to get this into their thick head.

whitewing

You are very kind. Keep the receipts etc but you still don't have to answer to them. It's none of their business. You are never going to satisfy them.

RAS

Hi

Do not provide any further receipts. Explain to grandma that you get no fostering allowance for the boy and that the benefits you receive do not currently cover the extra costs of caring for him. IF she ask for receipts explain that his living there adds to your fuel bills etc, so they do not show up as extra bills.

Suggest she talks to social services if she wants to understand the money side of things, as she would get the same if he lived with her.