Do they have the right?

faye6174

I second what has been said already. You have already gone over and above by showing the receipts in my opinion. NO WAY should you show them bank statements.

Is this money coming directly out of her pocket? I think you have said it is benefits, so NO it is not. It is taxpayers money and as you have said, you are actually saving the taxpayer money by not having this poor lad in care. I don't have kids yet, but even i know that it costs more than £108 per week to 'keep' a child and that does not take into account for any extra special care that he needs.

Is she suggesting that you should get less or that you should hand over the surplus to her???

You are obviously a good person to look after your friend's child like you have done, in what must be awful circumstances (an assumption so apologies if i am wrong) Please don't let this silly woman bully you into something that you are not happy to do.

aliasojo

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think that you've gone too far with this already. She has no right to investigate your financial affairs so I'd tell her politely to get lost. Social Services don't ask you to account for the money you receive and they're the ones responsible for the child and not his grandmother.

I'd steer clear of this situation in future and not get involved in financial discussions.

Not often I completely agree with ONW but I want to thank her twice over for this post.

You should never have gone down this route in the first place but you have and it's now backfiring. She has no right to see your bank statements, nor was it necessary to supply her with receipts.

I suspect you were trying to be friendly, open and honest but this should have been a subject that was simply not up for discussion.

I can't see any way round this other than to put the brakes on now, sharpish. Tell the Gran that you were trying to be amenable to her requests for details but she's gone too far in asking for bank information and that you wont be discussing money in any way, shape or form in future.

There may well be some bad feeling for a while but if you dont stop this now, things will only get worse.

fernliebee

What a wicked witch! She should just want to see her grandson but no, it has to turn into an argument about money- some people amaze me! I look after my nephew sometimes and my friends kids, and would never ask for a penny. I do it because I genuinely like the children, and it is helpful for their parent's to get a bit of time off. I feed them, bathe them, read them a story, put them to bed etc.... I would not ask for money to cover these things, they do offer but I refuse as I don't mind doing it and as it's occasional I can cover the small cost.

TBH even at a childminder you would pay £3 an hour for care so 24 x £3 = £72. times that by 7 and you 'should' be paid £504 per week just for his care, never mind any outgoings for him! If she is interested in making up the shortfall you will be happy to provide the neccessary financial documents, if not then can she mind her own beeswax!

The really sad thing is that you are obviously looking after him out of love of him, and his late mother. The poor lad has had a rough time and you are standing by him, it is a shame his grandmother cannot understand this but at least he is with you and not her full time!! You are doing a great thing for him, and don't let her mean ways get in the way of that, tell her where to go!

Savvy_Sue

This is the 15/16 yo right?

I'm with everyone else. It's none of her business, and if she's got concerns, she knows who his social worker is.

tori.k

yes savvy sue it is,

we dont have any issue with her having his DLA/carers if she is having him for the week as its his money not mine, and have no problems if they want proof of where his money is spent, i actually didnt think we would hear off them at all, as they hadnt been in contact since the estate had been wound up, other then SS going to see them, to check they were happy for me to keep the lad in my care, i should just be grateful that they are taken an interest in the lad,

my mother was harping on about them taking the p*ss as usual,and its been causing a few arguments between us, im getting tired of jumping thru hoops, i can here my mate's voice saying "i bloody warned you what they were like":)

but today is another day and the sun is shining, so sod em all....

belfastgirl23

Tori, stop explaining yourself.

You have done a lovely thing and you shouldn't let anyone take the shine off it by harping about money. You have taken on the hard work of looking after a little boy who has been bereaved - this isn't about money at all it's about time and energy and you'll never ever be recompensed for that. If you have a little cash left over at the end of the day that's exactly how it should be.

So don't show them anything, don't get into a discussion with them on it. they are never ever going to be satisfied, even if they came around tescos with you and totted up your totals. Remember the broken record technique 'my finances are my own business' and keep on saying it till they get the message.

Cheeky b***s

tiamai_d

The carers allowance is yours! Paid to you for his care (not to buy him stuff). The DLA is his.

I'd tell her to take a running jump.

myrnahaz

The woman has no right to demand anything from you. If she was any kind of Granny she'd have taken him in regardless of whether it worked out for her financially. That's what you did - you clearly took him in out of love and loyalty to your friend, regardless of any disruption to the rest of your family.

How would she react if you asked her for receipts covering the entire amount of DLA you gave her while the lad's on holiday with her? She's just an old hag.

I think you're a saint to have done what you have done, and I'm sure every other poster would agree with me.

Glamazon

cheeky cow!

If she has concerns she should be raising them with Social Services not you. Don't give her anything else.

Do they stop to think about the things you pay for that you don't get reimburised for? I went to my Mums for the weekend and we had to take the 2 foster boys along to everything - bowling, a very expensive meal etc.
My mum treats them like family so would never penalise them even if it meant she was out of pocket for doing it!

What annoys me most is that the boys and their family don't realise all these extras that aren't covered - like my sisters wedding - £60 a head which Mum has to pay for the boys because she can't get respite, oh yeah and flights and accommodation for the 3 weeks they are spending in Spain!
Foster kids get it better than me!!!!

I agree that if Gran was that concerned she should have taken him in herself and got the money

faye6174

Sorry, i am being nosey!!

Is granny saying you shouldn't be getting the money at all or that she is somehow entitled to the surplus?