What is your pet money hate?

niceshoes_2

Thanks for all your replies - she is a good friend really she is, and I don't want this to get in the way. I won't "get rid" of her as a friend as suggested, as this is only a minor issue.

As I said I don't go out with her very often any more, 1 because I am getting old and can't be bothered with the expense, hangover and loss of the next day (cos I feel so rubbish) and 2 because I now want to spend my money on other things, like holidays and getting the credit card balance down. I guess it isn't too much of a problem anymore, as I don't let myself get into that situation. I have realised what the situation is and can assure you all that it does not happen any longer!

Quote: Next time she says she has managed to save £400 in a month. Say with a big grin on your face the reason for that is you are so tight. And mines a double vodka if your asking.

I like this idea - made me laugh alot, and I also like the idea of going bar with her money! Will consider that on future occasions.

I know friendship is nothing to do with money whatsoever, and as previously said, I really wouldn't mind buying anyone anything if they really couldn't afford it. It's just the whole tight thing that annoys me I guess.

Thanks for all your replies - I think I just wanted to get that off my chest.

CAFCGirl

I would never dream of doing anything like that to any one of my friends.
I've never really been one for going out, but I'd suggest next time you are out tell her you're not in for rounds. Or if she asks you if you want to go out, tell her you can't because you cant afford the taxi etc afterwards.See if she offers to cover it to make up for it.
Plus if its your boyfriend whose always dropping you into town, suggest to her just before you get in the car etc, when he's out of ear shot, that although he doesn't mind, he does do it a lot, you don't want him to get annoyed and suggest maybe she offer him a little something for the gesture,and then add because otherwise we'd be paying for a taxi so you're still saving.

I'd imagine she either doesn't realise, in which case the above might shame her into changing her actions, or she's just so clever about it, she's got an awful lot of tricks.Next time she says she's got her round, stand firm and say no I really don't think you did, because x x x. That way she'll get the hint that she can't keep taking the pee.

I understand you dont begrudge her saving, but I can understand that you're angry when she does say she's saved 400, and I'm not surprised since you're funding her a lot of the time!
When you think about how much you could be saving if you weren't paying for her all the time, you might feel a lot stronger about standing up against her.

Dont feel bad for thinking these things either. I've been spotting my flatmate, paying the bills etc and letting her pay me back whenever that I am now seriously out of pocket. Because it's in my nature to try and help where I can, and some people, use their existing friendships, to exploit this in people like us.

Be strong, think of yourself from now on.Don't be afraid to ask for what she owes. It's yours by rights and if she can't afford to pay her way, then she shouldn't be there!

calleyw

niceshoes wrote:

Thanks for all your replies - she is a good friend really she is, and I don't want this to get in the way. I won't "get rid" of her as a friend as suggested, as this is only a minor issue.

Thanks for all your replies - I think I just wanted to get that off my chest.

But it is getting in the way of your friendship as you are feeling resentful and it is upsetting you and friendships are not suppose to be like that.

It is give and take. And she seems to be taking and you doing all the giving.

I hope you do get this sorted out with out losing the friendship. As things like this can get really out of hand until one day you just blow up. As it is a drip, drip effect.

All the best.

Yours

Calley

queenofthedump

Pigeongirl wrote:

Sorry if that's a bit harsh but my period is due

We are all spending far too much time on this site we are all even starting to ovulate at the same time


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karom

Not sure on the spelling however I just loved the system.

We go out with Friends, all put same amount of money per person (so if we go out as couple we both pay) and the money is managed by kitty holder to pay all rounds all the evening. This is fantastic because it is fair.

This type of behaviour does happen. You may not want to lose a long friendship over it. I would give it a try but you must have a word with her otherwise your resentment will build up. Ok easy to say I know

oops_a_daisy

marieb wrote:

We are all spending far too much time on this site we are all even starting to ovulate at the same time


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:T :rotfl: :rotfl: :T

if a friend of mine asked me to buy in cranberry for her I would tell her to bring the vodka then

youngandreckless

This is a bit of a tough one, but if she is as good a friend as you say she is, then you really need to talk to her about it. Whether you like it or not its starting to affect your friendship as by your own admission you're not introducing her to new friends in your life etc.
We have a friend who is tight, but we make a joke of it with him and it has shamed him into pulling his financial weight - never has there been a big showdown, just gradually he has taken the hint and bucked his ideas up.
In the meantime knock the rounds on the head. There is no rule that you have to do rounds and if she mentions why you're not doing them simply say "It always makes my night more expensive somehow, and I'm on a budget so can only afford to buy what I actually drink" If you can't face a direct conversation, then direct action should do the trick - she can't leach if the supply is cut off.
Do not offer cigarettes, that way she can't accept them - smoking is grossly expensive and if she wants to do it then the £400 she has saved will need to accomodate her habit.
The taxi one is more tricky. I would suggest stating that you have say £5 for your HALF of the taxi and she'll need to make sure she saves the rest. Alternatively, ask for the taxi money for home at the start of the night, if her normal excuse is that she has run out then get it before she can pretend this is true. For instance, simply saying "I can only pay £5 for the taxi so can you give me £5 now for your half and I'll keep it separate, so neither of us blow the money when we're drunk later". If she refuses or fobs you off and then later claims poverty, you'll have a legit platform for bringing up the fact that she has let you down.
Kebabs and any other food should be bought individually, if not then don't get one at all and you'll have saved yourself double.
I know friendship isn't about money, but a true friend would show you some respect and awknowledge that its a two way street. Like it or not this will fester and is one of my biggest bugbears (hence the ramble), I can't abide people that take and take, with no regard for other peoples feelings or finances!
My other pet hate is the poor driver who still gets stung for a split bill in a restaurant despite drinking water or coke or something. There will always be one that drinks the wine dry and then lets everyone else pay for it! Fair enough if you take it in turns, but otherwise forget it!!!
You're obviously a good friend and person and its about time this friend appreciated you for more than just your bank card. Don't ditch her unless its intolerable, but I reckon there is a fair amount you can do to get her to pack it in.
Good luck x

amosworks

lol, well I think personally they're good MSE traits But next time you're out with her, drop a spanner in the works when you're in town and say "Taxi? I haven't got money for a taxi! I thought you had?" and see what happens

With you both being stranded, I'm sure some money will appear

roswell

Better still get ready for a night out get down the town order the drinks in then say " &*&(&) I forgot my purse" ..... :-)

isgman

Try going out with her and "Forget" your money... see what she does then...