What is your pet money hate?

niceshoes_2

My pet hate, is a friend of mine, who earns the same salary as me, and has similar circs (ie, own house, own car etc) and says most months "oh I managed to save £400 this month" Now I save a hundred quid a month and I don't begrudge her saving anything - fair play to her, however ............

What does annoy me is the way that she seems to make people pay for her. She is always the last to get a round of drinks in, if we are in a round she will order vodka red bull when it is my round and then when it is her turn, a bottle of mineral water. My round will cost £7.00 odd and hers £4.00! She is always reluctant to go to the bar and get a drink and there have been nights where she claims that it isn't her round and she got the last one, so I end up buying two rounds in a row!

She is a smoker and will think nothing of accepting cigarettes from others on nights out, but will not offer hers out.

I always seem to end up paying in the kebab shop at the end of the night, as she will say that she hasn't got any change or some other excuse. The taxi bill is usually picked up by me as she will then say she has no money left or whe will give me her change, usually a couple of quiid, when the taxi fare is £10.00. There are nights out when she says, oh I only spent £15 but I've spent nearly £50!

Its always my house she comes to before we go out, always my drink that she drinks, never bringing a bottle of anything herself, and always my boyfriend who drops us off in town. She once had the cheek, to complain that I had run out of Vodka and even asked if I could buy some cranberry juice for the next time she came round!

She has never bought me a birthday drink on a night out and she even had an argument with her OH one night out, who bought me a drink on my birthday!

She was here last week saying that she went out last week with another friend, who ended up paying for her all night, as she didn't have much money - and her comment was "its OK she earns twice as much as me!" which really made me quite cross.

She is soooo tight, it is embarrasing. I have purposely not invited her on nights out with new friends that I have made, as I am too embarrased about how she is and don't want to face that embarrasing situation when she ducks out of rounds or avoids buying one!

Now if she genuinly didn't have money or was in severe debt, there is no way in this world that I would begrudge buying her a drink or a kebab etc, but I do object when the next night, she says "oh I managed to save £400 pounds!"

It has taken me many years to realise that this has happened as I have known her since school and have spent many a night out following this same pattern. Obviously now I am aware of this, I do make sure that it doesn't happen and I don't go out anywhere near as much as I used to, as I can't be bothered!

Am I awful for thinking like this - as I say she is one of my oldest friends and tightness aside, she is a good friend and one of the closest ones that I have. I am not jealous of her managing to save x amount of pounds per month and think it is great if she is able to do this, but it does annoy me when she seems to expect others to subsidise her on nights out.

Rant over - I am glad I got that off my chest - feel better now!

elvis_bloggs

Your friend seems to be a good MSE'er, nowt wrong with that.

LookingAhead

niceshoes wrote:

she ducks out of rounds or avoids buying one....

Don't feel awful, she's very tight by the sounds of it & this is how she saves her £400 a month.

There is a saying for people like your friend using one of the words in the quoted sentence above......I'm sure you can work it out hon!

rizla01

Doesn't sound like a good freind to me!

If you haven't gone out with her is this because She hasn't invited you out?

Des she only go out with you when you foot the bill.

Suggest, perhaps a night out and after she accepts mention that your going to have to take it easy that night as you have had a large expenditure to cope with. See if she later cancels.

You are simply buying this parasites freindship.

dudleyboy

she sounds like an absolute parasite!

niceshoes wrote:

I am not jealous of her managing to save x amount of pounds per month and think it is great if she is able to do this, but it does annoy me when she seems to expect others to subsidise her on nights out.

But isn't that how she manages to save x amount of pounds each month? It sounds to me like she's putting into savings other people's money.

I know she's a good friend but i'd certainly be a little bit less generous to her in future...

queenofthedump

Get rid of her or tell her _ easier said then done I know

I have a friend who is very sympathetic to my situation who also claims to be as skint as me but she isnt well she is but hers is her mortgage her house hold income is 3 times what ours is and she always moans about being skint but when either her or her OH work extra they get paid extra my oh gets paid the same whether he does 4 hours or 400 I love her to pieces and it annoys me that she is like this but I have learnt to accept her as she is and I have modified my own behaviour to accomodate her as it is easier- ie i switch off when she moans about money still learning to ignore the "Oh and guess what I have just bought" it is getting easier as I find myself saying less and less I cant I have no money

elvis_bloggs

Is your friendship only about money.

Pigeongirl

God, this sounds spookily like one of my 'best' friends from school! In fact, things got so bad that I dropped all contact with her for a year and a half until she looked me up on Friends Reunited and I thought 'Maybe she's changed'. Well she hasn't but I have - for example, when we go out to a bar I make sure I go up first and just buy myself a drink and she buys her own. Sorted. Besides, she lives 200 miles away from me now so not such an issue!

I'm sure that sounds horrible and I do find it goes against my nature because I am very generous with my friends (within boundary of what I can afford of course) but with my other friends I know that it will be reciprocated. While I don't give just to receive something back, it is fundamental to a friendship that one doesn't feel taken for a ride by the other.

I'm sorry to say that I would call a halt to this friendship. She sounds like a leech and you don't need it. She'll soon realise that she can't get away with being such a parasite when she's stuck in on her own cos no-one wants to fund her social life.

Sorry if that's a bit harsh but my period is due

elvis_bloggs

Pigeongirl wrote:

...Sorry if that's a bit harsh but my period is due

Yukky yuk ..

Pigeongirl

Heh heh heh

calleyw

Your friend is taking the pee and you are allowing it to happen.

If you just buying rounds between yourselves then stop. Tell her money is tight and you can only afford to buy your own drink tonight.

Or make sure you have something really expensive on her rounds like a cocktails as they are not cheap. Or ask for a double. And she might get the message.

Friendships are not about money. They are more than that. But your friend is beyond tight. I mean even if I a skint I always pay my way. As I would hate for someone to think that I am taking the pee.

Next time she says she has managed to save £400 in a month. Say with a big grin on your face the reason for that is you are so tight. And mines a double vodka if your asking.

I am sorry but you need to get tough with her. Why should you be paying for things like her kebab. If she has no money then she don't get one.

It would not be so bad if where taking it in turns to pay for things. Another way to get money out of her is to offer to go to the bar with her money to buy the round. Don't give her the change back and say that is the kebab/Taxi later. Just so you don't spend it

I may be mean and tight to myself. Like not going out very often etc. But I am alway more than generous to other people. I would rather go with out myself. But I know that most of my friends/family don't take the pee. And that is my choice. But you are not being given a choice.

Moneysaving is one thing but being tight and mean is something else totally.


Yours


Calley