Find me love!

Tigsteroonie

Pssst wrote: »

Perhaps there should be a "meet new friends" type section on MSE?

There already is a Singles thread in the Arms, and there used to be one in the DFW area too (not sure if it's still there).

BitterAndTwisted

The overwhelming majority of people meet their partners though work, so I'd be chatting up my workmates and seeing if you could go out in a group where they bring their freinds along. The suggestion of saying "yes" to everything is a good one as well. How many time have we been inviting to do something and just though that it didn't appeal or we couldn't be bothered? But it's true: when you stop thinking about meeting someone new, you do. I think other people can tell when you're on the look-out and it can drive them away. It's guaranteed that you'll meet someone new and interesting on the very day when you're wearing your least best clothes and haven't washed your hair.

Paddy2009

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

There already is a Singles thread in the Arms, and there used to be one in the DFW area too (not sure if it's still there).

Like Jinky, I met my OH on MSE

What you also don't say is that this site also caused the break up of your current marriage with your proper OH! Trying to portray yourself as single and this new relationship is something wonderful!

So lets not paint this all with roses eh?

smartie12

Here on MSE too

Silverbird

I had had an almost 7-year man drought and was obsessing over my latest celebrity crush (Luke Wilson) and worrying that I'd never find somebody to love when my good online American friend suggested that I join a dating site (Yahoo Personals - free). I scoffed at the idea, but as the day wore on I figured that I was a good person and lonely and looking for love, so surely other people like me would be looking for the same. I decided to give it a whirl and signed up that night.

Unfortunately there were indeed some weirdos and rude men on there (like you are warned about), but there were also some nice, polite men. Being a shy person and nervous about talking with men after all this time, I only emailed. I had a lot of interest, which gave me a much-needed confidence boost. However, none of the men I spoke to really stood out.

I then decided to conduct a search myself and found a profile of a man who sounded very humble and sweet (a lot of the profiles of men can be very arrogant and pushy, so it made a nice change). He didn't have a photo attached to his profile and this did worry me because despite what everybody says I do believe there does have to be some kind of physical attraction between 2 people for them to hit it off. I sent him an 'icebreaker', which is a little message just letting him know that I liked his profile and what did he think of mine. I didn't hear anything back and figured he wasn't interested (turns out he was on holiday with his parents).

A few days later I got a lovely email off this charming man. After lots and lots of emails and MSN-ing, we met up 2 weeks later and saw and spoke to each other face-to-face for the first time, although after all our messages we did feel that we already knew each other quite well. Our first date was amazing and he was so charming and just such a good, kind person. He got me my favourite flowers and was a perfect gentleman. I was completely at ease with him and had no trouble talking to him (being shy, this did surprise me!) However, I was terrified that I felt no physical attraction towards him - he just wasn't what I thought 'my type' was. Despite this, I had fallen in love with his personality by the end of the date and knew I wanted to see him again. My mother told me to just go with the flow and see what happened.

We emailed and called each other for the following few days and then we met up again and the second I saw him my heart was beating like a butterfly and my tummy tickled. I suddenly found him very attractive and boy was I happy. I still love the fact that I fell for his personality first and the rest just fell into place.

The rest is history. We were engaged after 11 months, married a further 13 months later and we've been happily married for 2 and a half years now. He's my world and I feel so lucky.

So, I'm definitely voting for online dating! You just gotta weed out the bad eggs and don't be afraid to meet somebody who doesn't have a photo on their profile or who you don't think fits your 'type'. It turns out my OH didn't have a scanner, hence the lack of photo, but I often wonder if I would have ever messaged him if he had got a photo of himself on there (being that I didn't feel physically attracted to him when I first saw him). Take a chance and enjoy it!

My parents met when my mom's friend took her back to her house and her half-brother was lying on the sofa, suffering from 'man flu'. Mom said she looked at him and thought 'phwoarr!' (even when he was ill!) and promptly quizzed her friend about him. They got together very soon afterwards and it's their 32nd wedding anniversary this Thursday.

People meet in so many different ways these days and I'm sure you'll find somebody to love soon.

Good luck in your search and best wishes to you x

*Maya*

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Like Jinky, I met my OH on MSE

Unlike Jinky you ran off with your current OH while married to another user on MSE. I must say I feel very sorry for your husband and the way you post about your affair.

mummy_Jay

I'm so glad this thread was started, I get to ask the question that drives me mad, where do all the single guys in their 30's hide?

The get out there ideas are good I try this at every chance (but I'm limited by babysitting due to having a 4 yr old), tried on line dating ifound it's a big waste of money (though there are a few that are free but very few ppl seem to join them sadly).

But what I really want to know is where all the single guys in there 30's hide, I can find them in there early 20's(a bit young for me) or in there 40's (too old for me) but none that are single in between. Is there some hang out I just don't know about for them or is it they are all taken by that point?

galvanizersbaby

Silverbird wrote: »

I had had an almost 7-year man drought and was obsessing over my latest celebrity crush (Luke Wilson) and worrying that I'd never find somebody to love when my good online American friend suggested that I join a dating site (Yahoo Personals - free). I scoffed at the idea, but as the day wore on I figured that I was a good person and lonely and looking for love, so surely other people like me would be looking for the same. I decided to give it a whirl and signed up that night.

Unfortunately there were indeed some weirdos and rude men on there (like you are warned about), but there were also some nice, polite men. Being a shy person and nervous about talking with men after all this time, I only emailed. I had a lot of interest, which gave me a much-needed confidence boost. However, none of the men I spoke to really stood out.

I then decided to conduct a search myself and found a profile of a man who sounded very humble and sweet (a lot of the profiles of men can be very arrogant and pushy, so it made a nice change). He didn't have a photo attached to his profile and this did worry me because despite what everybody says I do believe there does have to be some kind of physical attraction between 2 people for them to hit it off. I sent him an 'icebreaker', which is a little message just letting him know that I liked his profile and what did he think of mine. I didn't hear anything back and figured he wasn't interested (turns out he was on holiday with his parents).

A few days later I got a lovely email off this charming man. After lots and lots of emails and MSN-ing, we met up 2 weeks later and saw and spoke to each other face-to-face for the first time, although after all our messages we did feel that we already knew each other quite well. Our first date was amazing and he was so charming and just such a good, kind person. He got me my favourite flowers and was a perfect gentleman. I was completely at ease with him and had no trouble talking to him (being shy, this did surprise me!) However, I was terrified that I felt no physical attraction towards him - he just wasn't what I thought 'my type' was. Despite this, I had fallen in love with his personality by the end of the date and knew I wanted to see him again. My mother told me to just go with the flow and see what happened.

We emailed and called each other for the following few days and then we met up again and the second I saw him my heart was beating like a butterfly and my tummy tickled. I suddenly found him very attractive and boy was I happy. I still love the fact that I fell for his personality first and the rest just fell into place.

The rest is history. We were engaged after 11 months, married a further 13 months later and we've been happily married for 2 and a half years now. He's my world and I feel so lucky.

So, I'm definitely voting for online dating! You just gotta weed out the bad eggs and don't be afraid to meet somebody who doesn't have a photo on their profile or who you don't think fits your 'type'. It turns out my OH didn't have a scanner, hence the lack of photo, but I often wonder if I would have ever messaged him if he had got a photo of himself on there (being that I didn't feel physically attracted to him when I first saw him). Take a chance and enjoy it!

My parents met when my mom's friend took her back to her house and her half-brother was lying on the sofa, suffering from 'man flu'. Mom said she looked at him and thought 'phwoarr!' (even when he was ill!) and promptly quizzed her friend about him. They got together very soon afterwards and it's their 32nd wedding anniversary this Thursday.

People meet in so many different ways these days and I'm sure you'll find somebody to love soon.

Good luck in your search and best wishes to you x

Thanks for that post Silverbird

A friend of mine is currently starting the on-line dating thing and has heard so many horror stories - I am going to show him your post

Silverbird

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Thanks for that post Silverbird

A friend of mine is currently starting the on-line dating thing and has heard so many horror stories - I am going to show him your post

Aw, thank you! How lovely - I wish him all the very best in his search. Above all, make sure he enjoys it.

Yes, you do hear horror stories, but there are far more success stories. It's pretty easy to weed out the loonies and their desperation does make for amusing entertainment for a while. As long as he lets somebody know where he'll be, has a phone with him, doesn't let on where he lives until he trusts them and he has a 'backup plan' (ie. Ringing a friend in the toilets if she or he is horrible/scary/boring and they want to go) then there really isn't a lot that can go wrong. I also think it's important to chat quite a bit before actually meeting. That way you get a very good impression about whether you're compatible or not. I didn't mention in my humungous post, but I did meet one of the men off the site at his request and I just didn't feel right about it. I knew before I even met him that we would just be friends. He was very quiet and extremely serious and any humour seemed forced and that just wasn't for me. It turns out my instincts were right - he barely said anything and it was me - the shy one! - desperately trying to keep the conversation going. I found it embarrassing and as soon as I got home I emailed to say I didn't feel a connection and could we just be friends! So, tell him to trust his instincts.

I did have a bad experience myself as well. Prior to meeting OH and the man mentioned above, I had met with another man who seemed lovely. We got on ever so well for 2 weeks and I honestly started falling in love with him and just loved every second we spent together and he seemed the same. It was 'perfect' ... or so I thought. He then broke up with me online because he 'wasn't ready for this yet'. I was livid, asking why he was on a dating site if he wasn't ready, why he'd strung me along etc etc. I felt very used and upset, particularly when I saw he was still logging on the dating site shortly afterwards?! The idiot tried to get back together with me many times after that - even whilst I had just started seeing OH - and I had the strength (and anger) to tell him where to go and then changed my number. Thankfully I dragged myself up out of the tears and pain and went back to the site and started dating again and I'm so glad I did. I also decided that I would be speaking to and seeing (not sleeping with) many different men at one time in order that I wouldn't be hurt like that again. I was completely open to all the men I was chatting to about this and explained my reasons.

So, there are 2 extra bits of advice for your friend! Trust your instincts and don't give up and keep your options open.

I wish him the best of luck x

Dinah93

moiramber wrote: »

I met my OH playing an online game Not looking for love, just an escapism for real life and hey presto! We were from different ends of the country and after only 5 months of meeting him in person, I quit my job and moved to be with him, left everyone and everything behind. 3 months after that I fell pregnant and here we are with our gorgeous little boy

Another one in an online game here (which one was yours?!)! We met online and chatted everyday for nearly a year, first in game then on skype and via text. We had very compatable morals, personalities and sense of humour. I was in an abusive relationship at the time and things reached a head and I decided I needed a weeks holiday to actually meet my best friend! Went over to Ireland, within a few hours realised what an incredable person he is, within a few days had fallen hook line and sinker, and it finally gave me the courage to leave my violent ex when I came back from holiday. Despite what my ex did to me, my OH and I didn't act on our feelings until I had broken up with the ex, even though the break up resulted in 7 police officers having to be involved and it would have been a lot easier just not to go back.

My OH told me in September he would move to England to be with me once I had cleared all my debt. In January, when I was about 2/3 of the way there, he told me he couldn't wait anymore and he was coming over, 2 people would clear it faster than one anyway! He moved to England the last

1 year (almost to the day) since we met in person and he told me to pop into the jewellers to measure my ring finger last weekend...