Standing children in the corner in class for minor issues?

milliebear00001

Yes, I think you're right. It did seem much more commonplace and acceptable to hit your kids back then. The whole culture was one of violence toward children being a natural part of disciplining them. I was certainly walloped at home by my mother, and while many people don't think it damaged them, for me, it certainly affected my relationship with my mother, in a long-lasting way. I also feel it didn't work as a discipline tool either! Just taught me to lie my way out of trouble and keep my misbehaviour very well hidden!

Silverbird

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Yes, I think you're right. It did seem much more commonplace and acceptable to hit your kids back then. The whole culture was one of violence toward children being a natural part of disciplining them. I was certainly walloped at home by my mother, and while many people don't think it damaged them, for me, it certainly affected my relationship with my mother, in a long-lasting way. I also feel it didn't work as a discipline tool either! Just taught me to lie my way out of trouble and keep my misbehaviour very well hidden!

Yep, my siblings and I were the same (lying and keeping things hidden). I'm the eldest and whilst I do remember a lot of beatings and the pain and humiliation, I can also remember a lot of good times. Despite the beatings I did have a good childhood. However, it certainly damaged my sister. She's in her mid 20's now and is shall we say 'a handful'. She's constantly screaming at my parents that her behaviour is due to how she was brought up and that all she can remember of her childhood is getting beaten for very trivial things (and I do absolutely confirm her view that they were trivial things - we were well-behaved children).

Anyway, sorry for hijacking this thread everybody! x

PolishBigSpender

roswell wrote: »

when i was a child it was the kane :-) and it was called disipline worked a treat :-)

Can't have worked very well if you can't spell the word 'discipline'...

roswell

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Yes, I think you're right. It did seem much more commonplace and acceptable to hit your kids back then. The whole culture was one of violence toward children being a natural part of disciplining them. I was certainly walloped at home by my mother, and while many people don't think it damaged them, for me, it certainly affected my relationship with my mother, in a long-lasting way. I also feel it didn't work as a discipline tool either! Just taught me to lie my way out of trouble and keep my misbehaviour very well hidden!

It most definately taught me a lot, for one it taught me if i didnt want a hit dont do it and also if you have done something wrong take responcibility for your actions.

A fond memory I have is being caught talking in assembaly 3 or 4 times (the same occurance) finaly the Head Master pointed me and my friend out to a prefect who pulled us out of line and was taken to see the head master after assembely. In the office the head master said his piece and our punushment would be "6" he then asked who would go first, This is the point I learnt to own upto my responcibilities I offered to go first as my friend was still denying he was talking to me The head master said " I respect you boy it not oftern someoen steps upto the mark", I took my "6" hits with the kane gracefully then turned to the Head master and gripped his hand with a stern hand shake I said " Thank you sir" I stopped shaking his hand when his face turned red and I left him to deal with my friend.

After standing outside the office and hearing my friends wimpers and screams I walked with him to the gents where we sat on the basin with the cold water running and my freind through a tear said " Next time im taking the blame and going first"

How does this affect me in adult life ? In my working carear I sometimes make mistakes as we all do, rather than say the info off Bob was rubbish or the data export failed my normal responce is " The responcibility of this unltimately lays at my desk and as such i have to admit I compiled this incorrectly etc " how many times have I had a angry manager go ape or try disipline me none, I own up I made the mistake and I shall rectify it job done.

roswell

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Can't have worked very well if you can't spell the word 'discipline'...

I never got it for spelling :rotfl:

Flashdaisy

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I can completely understand that it might look this way to an outsider, but as several people have already stated, you don't know the reasons teachers may have for 'going easy' on some poorly behaved children. They may have a particular issue/difficulty, either biologically, emotionally, or socially, of which you don't know. The teacher is the only person dealing with that class who has a full insight into each and every child - including their home background and educational development up to that point. They are the best person to decide what sanctions and rewards are most appropriate to each child. As I stated earlier though, it is hard to do this while not coming across as inconsistent (to both children and their parents). Please bear in mind the teacher may have excellent reasons for their choices which you don't understand for reasons of confidentiality..

Hmmmm, but to a class of 10 year olds this doesn't look very fair does it if they get a telling off for something but someone else does something much worse and then gets rewarded when they aren't naughty the following day. I didn't say that I knew the difficulties or issues, I am quite aware of confidentiality, thank you! However for a school to just say that pupils and parents should just "accept" that a child is going to hit their child or steal their property is wrong in my opinion, gloss it over or try to justify it however you like. All children need to be educated to learn right from wrong.

poet123

I don't think many schools would say "just accept it" and leave it at that, they may/or should, say we are trying to solve the issues, and you may have to bear with us whilst we try various strategies, or that they are working through the process of involving outside agencies to address the cause of the issues.

However, the fact is that today with the inclusion policies that schools have to implement, these types of incidents will become increasingly common. In past years a lot of these children with "difficulties" (and they are many and varied) would not have been in mainstream education, that is no longer the case. It is only when all avenues to keep them there have been explored, and generally when all parties involved agree, that they are moved to a different, perhaps more suitable, environment.

Actually, children are usually well aware if a classmate has issues, and do make allowances from a very young age. It is their parents who are sometimes less forgiving.

Flashdaisy

poet123 wrote: »

I don't think many schools would say "just accept it" and leave it at that, they may/or should, say we are trying to solve the issues, and you may have to bear with us whilst we try various strategies, or that they are working through the process of involving outside agencies to address the cause of the issues.

However, the fact is that today with the inclusion policies that schools have to implement, these types of incidents will become increasingly common. In past years a lot of these children with "difficulties" (and they are many and varied) would not have been in mainstream education, that is no longer the case. It is only when all avenues to keep them there have been explored, and generally when all parties involved agree, that they are moved to a different, perhaps more suitable, environment.

Actually, children are usually well aware if a classmate has issues, and do make allowances from a very young age. It is their parents who are sometimes less forgiving.

If your child gets punched in the face or has property stolen then forgive me for being uncharitable but it isn't that easy to be forgiving!

Those of you that think it's acceptable for double standards of punishment, what would you think if for example you worked in an office where you were told off and reprimanded for small mistakes, whilst the colleague that sat next to you doing identical work made much worse mistakes day in day out, yet they were never reprimanded? Then on a day when they made no mistakes they were given, say £50? But you rarely made mistakes but were never rewarded for your hard work, only told off if you'd done wrong.

Would you think this fair? Or would you complain about it? Children at school are learning about life skills as well as academic work, and classroom life should be fair.

milliebear00001

Flashdaisy wrote: »

If your child gets punched in the face or has property stolen then forgive me for being uncharitable but it isn't that easy to be forgiving!

Those of you that think it's acceptable for double standards of punishment, what would you think if for example you worked in an office where you were told off and reprimanded for small mistakes, whilst the colleague that sat next to you doing identical work made much worse mistakes day in day out, yet they were never reprimanded? Then on a day when they made no mistakes they were given, say £50? But you rarely made mistakes but were never rewarded for your hard work, only told off if you'd done wrong.

Would you think this fair? Or would you complain about it? Children at school are learning about life skills as well as academic work, and classroom life should be fair.

But you are not comparing like with like here. Not all children are the same, and some have many extra problems to contend with that makes their behaviour harder for them to manage than a child without those extra problems. For example, a child with Attention Deficit Disorder may scream at a teacher in frustration that is in part due to their disorder. A teacher cannot deal with that scream in the same way they would if it came from a child without such a disability and where the behaviour is simple 'playing up'. What I'm saying is, that we deal with behaviour issues in a manner appropriate to the individual child becase by doing so we are maximising the chances of getting good behaviour from as many children as possible.

Life isn't fair - it's not fair that some children have to cope with ADD, while others don't. It's not 'special' treatment, it's 'appropriate' treatment. As Poet said above - children are very good at differentiating between children with real problems managing their own behaviour, and kids who are simply sometimes 'naughty'. This is because, like teachers, they see them for 6 hours every weekday and so have a very good insight into their needs. Parents can help by encouraging their children to see that not all children are as fortunate as they are, and some find coping with school life very much more difficult than they do, for a very wide spectrum of reasons.

Flashdaisy

milliebear00001 wrote: »

But you are not comparing like with like here. Not all children are the same, and some have many extra problems to contend with that makes their behaviour harder for them to manage than a child without those extra problems. For example, a child with Attention Deficit Disorder may scream at a teacher in frustration that is in part due to their disorder. A teacher cannot deal with that scream in the same way they would if it came from a child without such a disability and where the behaviour is simple 'playing up'. What I'm saying is, that we deal with behaviour issues in a manner appropriate to the individual child becase by doing so we are maximising the chances of getting good behaviour from as many children as possible.

Life isn't fair - it's not fair that some children have to cope with ADD, while others don't. It's not 'special' treatment, it's 'appropriate' treatment. As Poet said above - children are very good at differentiating between children with real problems managing their own behaviour, and kids who are simply sometimes 'naughty'. This is because, like teachers, they see them for 6 hours every weekday and so have a very good insight into their needs. Parents can help by encouraging their children to see that not all children are as fortunate as they are, and some find coping with school life very much more difficult than they do, for a very wide spectrum of reasons.

You didn't answer my question. Would you think that scenario fair?

Clearly you are a teacher, who like many teachers finds it hard to see the real world beyond the confines of the school gate:rolleyes: