moaning mother in law getting me down.

lolababy

Id love it if my mil was wanting to get so involved . As your child gets to the toddler stage belive me you will be glad of the extra help .

It may be an idea to arrange a day out between you and your mil. A day out being pampered at a salon. Having a more relaxed place may make it easier to disscuss your concerns and give your mil a chance to open up. It sounds as if she just wants to do good but in the process is putting her foot in.

consultant31

redballoon wrote: »

the time we went shopping together she took charge of the buggy and didnt let go!! i felt as if i had to ask for my buggy back!
at the moment , i cant leave my daughter with anyone during the day for very long as i am breastfeeding and she wont take to a bottle at all and expressing is too hard work for nothing in return! Daughter is getting better now she is being weaned tho.

Oops, this sounds like me when I'm out with my daughter and grandson It's just that I'm so proud to be a Nanna and I reason that she has charge of the pushchair at all other times. My daughter doesn't complain though, she's just happy that I'm such a proud Nan!

I don't quite understand what you mean about expressing milk being too hard work 'for nothing in return'! Your baby being nourished can hardly be called nothing.......do you mean you don't get to cuddle her at those times the milk has been expressed? It's such a thrill to be able to feed a baby again when your own 'babies' have all grown up and left the nest. Please don't deny your MIL that pleasure now and again.

I think when a grandchild is born is the one time most Mum's wish they had a daughter, because they just know that the baby will be a far bigger part of the other Grandparent's lives than theirs. It's sad really!

redballoon_2

I don't quite understand what you mean about expressing milk being too hard work 'for nothing in return'!

I only have a manual breast pump and it takes ages to get an ounce of milk. plus my daughter wont take to a bottle.

themaccas

Hi
I feel very envious of you! I would love to have a MIL wanting to be so involved. I have parents and siblings who have chosen to be no part of my life since I was 16 and parents in law who couldn't wait to be grandparents then when ds1 was born, couldn't be bothered at all. He is now at uni and we have 2 other children, they never receive any birthday or xmas presents from them occasionally we get a half hearted phone call about a week to a month after their birthdays saying they are 'sorry they have a card and will be sending it', it never arrives. The children have never had grandparents who want to be part of their lives and I really feel they have missed out.

I would have loved a MIL to be around no matter how bossy or interfering they were. My advice would be to embrace the love and support she is offering.

Hugs to you

myrnahaz

I find it hard to understand how anyone could be a difficult MIL. I'm a MIL and I get on well with DIL; I'm sure I must get on her nerves at times, but we have this joint 'addiction' (DGS!). I try not to be too overpowering, and I make sure she knows what a good mum she is ( she's fantastic with him) because I had a hard time with my MIL. She was very critical and was useless with my kids and is now desperately trying to rekindle some kind of relationship with my 25 year old DD (who she constantly belittled for being 'too fat' during her childhood years), so I can empathise with those in a similar position, but my Mum was a wonderful Granny and my kids loved her unconditionally, and I want to try to replicate that for my own GC.
I'm lucky in having a lovely DIlL, but I'd do anything to be part of my DGS's life - he's our heart and soul.