How often is it "normal" to fall out with OH?

mountainlioness

Aw shucks, Silverbird, thank you

carolt

I know one couple who bicker several times a day - and recently celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary.

Also another couple who never, ever argued - until he had an affair and she divorced him. Never a harsh word said. But not in itself enough.

What matters is what feels right for you.

Threebabes

I wouldnt worry about it. Ive been with DH 16 year and we bicker, I was annoyed when he came out of work late earlier because I felt I couldnt text him to say we were outside because he would moan I was hassling him to hurry up LOL. It blew over in a minute.

Every couple is different.

Dinah93

not_tonight_josephine wrote: »

I really hope so as we have both agreed that we want this to be for the long-term and plan on getting married in a couple of years. I'd be absolutely devestated to lose him so I really want to sort myself out and not get stressed - I haven't felt like myself at all for a while now, so tired I can hardly stay awake past 7pm.

When you start to argue take a second and remember this, then ask if it is really worth it. My OH and I both have the tactic of focussing on the big stuff and does the little stuff really matter? It makes for avery happy and peaceful life I can tell you! We've had only 3 disagreements in the last year (two of which were the atypical me navigating him driving us getting into a pickle scenario!).

belfastgirl23

mountainlionesses way works for us too. Although it took about 15 years to get DH to a point where he could both see and acknowledge that he was stressed about something entirely else and was taking it out on me.

I also come from a family background where rows = divorce so I sympathise with how you feel. I do think if you feel like snapping it's worth stopping to think what is upsetting you...is it to do with you (tired, stressed, long day) or is what he is doing really a problem.

But agree with the others, communication is the key. It is all too easy to expect your OH to somehow 'know' what to do and get cross at them because they haven't done it.

ameliarate

Me and OH are having problems at the moment, arguing a lot. We always will to an extent because we are like that but lately .......... we even managed to fall out on holiday.

I think deep down you know whether it is just because you are tired or whether there is something serious. In your case I suspect it is just that you need a break and time to relax whereas with us .......... not so sure.

consultant31

not_tonight_josephine wrote: »

Hello, OH and I have been together for 18 months, and normally get on very well. For the last couple of months though, we have started to have little fallouts maybe a couple of times a week - nothing major (neither of us are the type for big rows), but maybe one of us will snap at the other or get upset and then we have a disagreement.

I'm not that experienced in long term relationships, and just wondered if this is normal, as I keep worrying that it means he will break up with me!? Which makes me more stressed and more likely to get upset.

We are both very busy at work and tired these days and haven't had a holiday for quite some time, not sure if this may be a factor too.

So I suppose I'm just wondering how often other people tend to argue with their partners?

I think you answered your own question right there - you're tired, stressed and in need of a holiday - everyone gets crabby at times like that.

One way to ease tension is to offer to give him a massage one night. Though it may well lead to other things, lol, the main benefit is to relax both the receiver and the giver of the massage.

Use some calming oils such as lavendar and camomile in a carrier oil like jojoba. Pour a little on to your hands, rub them gently together to warm the oils and apply in long, smooth strokes up the centre of his back and down the sides. Once you've worked up a rhythm (gosh, this is sounding very sexual, sorry) it is very soothing and calming and hopefully will relax you both.

Definitely don't worry that it spells the end for your relationship. IMO it's healthy to disagree - you're two different people after all. It would be unbelievably boring if you agreed with each other all the time