Being Totally Honest...

kathfisch

tee_pee wrote:

what scare me about waiting to eb debt free is that I know once I am cleared I will start to look at other things I want, bigger house conservatory car etc and i won't do them all at once cos I am not stupid, but there is something inside of me that has to strive for more and more. Why do we need material possessions to feel worthy?

Fabulous question!

Could be a whole other thread.....

I find it very hard to detach myself from wanting material possessions even though I feel its a disgusting way to live really. How much better would things be if we did not have a society so obsessed with the 'newest', 'fastest', 'biggest' etc. The damage that we do to the environment by producing all these things only to dump them in the landfill a few years down the line is awful. If anyone saw the last episode of 'Pay off your mortgage in two years', I'd like to be like them. Grateful for real blessings in life (like family and health) and not hung up on possessions and materialistic concerns. It is possible to take these things too far but definitely a bit of perspective would be very welcome!

And yet I can't actually seem to quite carry that through! I know that I desire new, shiny, exciting things but I know that I don't need them, that I'll be better off (financially and my conscience) without them. I don't have the money for them now but when I do, I can't honestly say I won't buy them

Oops, have gone from being terribly high up the moral ground to being terribly judgemental of anyone who's ever bought anything :rotfl:

I'll shut up and have my moral dilemma quitely...... :rotfl:

kathfisch

Ember999 wrote:

We are never satisfied, we are mentally geared to constantly want more. But that isn't a bad thing. If we didn't feel the need to change and move forward, life would stop and be pointless.

There are other ways to move forward, though, than ever increasing consumption. Making no progress would seem pointless but there are many other things, personally and as a society, on which we could do with moving forward.

Not arguing ember, just thinking aloud

tee_pee_2

kathfisch wrote:

Fabulous question!

Could be a whole other thread.....

I find it very hard to detach myself from wanting material possessions even though I feel its a disgusting way to live really. How much better would things be if we did not have a society so obsessed with the 'newest', 'fastest', 'biggest' etc. The damage that we do to the environment by producing all these things only to dump them in the landfill a few years down the line is awful. If anyone saw the last episode of 'Pay off your mortgage in two years', I'd like to be like them. Grateful for real blessings in life (like family and health) and not hung up on possessions and materialistic concerns. It is possible to take these things too far but definitely a bit of perspective would be very welcome!

And yet I can't actually seem to quite carry that through! I know that I desire new, shiny, exciting things but I know that I don't need them, that I'll be better off (financially and my conscience) without them. I don't have the money for them now but when I do, I can't honestly say I won't buy them

Oops, have gone from being terribly high up the moral ground to being terribly judgemental of anyone who's ever bought anything :rotfl:

I'll shut up and have my moral dilemma quitely...... :rotfl:

lol......................

Ember999

kathfisch wrote:

There are other ways to move forward, though, than ever increasing consumption. Making no progress would seem pointless but there are many other things, personally and as a society, on which we could do with moving forward.

Not arguing ember, just thinking aloud

I totally agree Kathfisch, I feel annoyed with myself often by the way I get trapped by materialism and all that goes with it. I wish our world was different but I doubt it will ever be. Advertisers spend millions with good reason, it works! I just see consumerism as what keeps the wheels of our life turning. If everyone stopped buying, then catastrophie would occur. We would all probably be happier with less pressure on us but we would ultimately end up poorer as we would all be out of work! It's a double edged sword.

tee_pee_2

I like spending money, I like the buzz :j There I said it my name is Tee Pee and I like spending money!!

huggermugger

moxie wrote:

Actually, having it there on my signature is helpful cos I can see what I've achieved. Scary too, but at least I can't bury my head in the sand again.

Yep, I'm working up to it!

mrcow

moxie wrote:

That would be me. Debt built up because of divorce and then bringing up 2 kids in the most expensive city in the world with a lowish wage and little money from my ex. I admit, I was pretty clueless with money, (not now) but my main concern was for my kids not to suffer because of the divorce. So, yes we did go on holiday, had Sky etc etc mainly because I didn't want them to feel deprived. When I look back it was stupid and I will have to spend the next 9 years paying it all off. But it was worth it to have happy kids who have both done well academically and haven't gone down the drugs/drop out route, which is so common in London and elsewhere.

Hi Moxie,

Your sig is an example of what I meant. I look at the figures and it blows my mind. I couldn't wish you any more good luck with it than I already do. I admire you for dealing with it head on.

Having it as a sig is a brave thing to do, but it also acts as a very sobering reminder for the rest of us.

Take care

roversbabe

kathfisch wrote:

You didn't ramble, you expressed exactly what I was trying to say about the emotional element. For me it is (and always has been) a case of low self esteem, not believing that I was worth anything and making myself better through buying and eating; leaving me trying to save money and lose weight at once - like so many of us it seems! Also not feeling that I deserved any better than the sh*tty relationship I was in and so not getting out of it, feeling worse and spending more.

Again, I totally agree - low self esteem has a lot to answer for I had counselling just over a year ago, before the lightbulb moment which did help with my esteem issues and stop the negative script in my head.

As you say, it is a fantastic feeling to be free of that low feeling and association with spending (or mostly free, still creeps up on me sometimes!) but no one can be forced into that. Self knowledge and understanding only comes when you work for it, same as I believe you can't force someone to have their lightbulb moment (since it is an acceptance of stuff they've known superficially for a long time).

I feel so much happier in myself now that I don't need to buy something to cheer me up - I do have low days but I know that spending will not make any difference but a 10 - 15 minute walk will make a difference. Its taken time to learn that buying 'stuff' doesn't make me any happier, neither does stuffing my face with comfort foods or alcohol. I was trying to lose weight too, but since I got pregnant, dieting isn't an option

Oh, this thread is really getting me thinking (or waffling :rotfl: )

Me too :rotfl:

kathfisch

Ember999 wrote:

I totally agree Kathfisch, I feel annoyed with myself often by the way I get trapped by materialism and all that goes with it. I wish our world was different but I doubt it will ever be. Advertisers spend millions with good reason, it works! I just see consumerism as what keeps the wheels of our life turning. If everyone stopped buying, then catastrophie would occur. We would all probably be happier with less pressure on us but we would ultimately end up poorer as we would all be out of work! It's a double edged sword.

Very true! There's no changing the way the world's going is there? But I like to think it is still worth it to live my life in a way that I feel happy with, everybody has to live with their own conscience at the end of the day. I would love to live a life that didn't revolve around material possessions and kept the consumer culture in perspective but then, in that situation, it would be so easy to look down on everyone else still caught up in it

roversbabe

Ember999 wrote:

I totally agree Kathfisch, I feel annoyed with myself often by the way I get trapped by materialism and all that goes with it. I wish our world was different but I doubt it will ever be. Advertisers spend millions with good reason, it works! I just see consumerism as what keeps the wheels of our life turning. If everyone stopped buying, then catastrophie would occur. We would all probably be happier with less pressure on us but we would ultimately end up poorer as we would all be out of work! It's a double edged sword.

Good point Ember,

Got me wondering if there is some kind of happy medium.

rb