Being Totally Honest...

mintymoneysaver

Does anyone read other people's signature and see some amount to a clothes company, store etc and think, well that's why they're in debt?
I owe money but I do still judge people if I'm honest, and think that's how they got into this mess.
This is because I saw one person owed a lot of money to a fashion store which I would never go in as it has always been way beyond my budget( and I earn a good salary)
I am probably going to get shot down in flames, and I do admire people so much for what they are doing to get out of it, but it just goes to show what a judgemental person I am...

LookingAhead

If I read peoples signatures and see that they owe money to clothes companies it makes no difference. What's the difference between spending money on clothes to:

Cars/new kitchens/bathrooms/perfume/holidays/extravagant food etc etc....if you haven't got the cash...you get credit (sorry...."debt"...I replace the word credit with debt as I am sure a lot of people have done! )

Then you get more debt.....and maybe a bit more...then maybe you consolidate...then you get a bit more debt.

And then before you can say "Holy crap how did *that* happen?" you're in BIG debt. :eek:

Then you get sick of it. Then you join a forum and enjoy the support & advice offered by others who are also sick of it and you decide to whittle it down. And in the process you bare all and be honest with yourself and others - it's part of the process (isn't it?).

We must learn from our past spending ways unless we want to repeat them. And I get the feeling most of us don't eh? :rolleyes:

poppy52

You do sound like you're occupying the moral high ground. People here have got themselves into debt for all sorts of reasons. Hindsight, and wishing you had done things differently, are wonderful things. It's hard enough trying to get out of debt - and this site is a wonderful place where people come to be helped constructively and not judged.

LHM

poppy52 wrote:

You do sound like you're occupying the moral high ground. People here have got themselves into debt for all sorts of reasons. Hindsight, and wishing you had done things differently, are wonderful things. It's hard enough trying to get out of debt - and this site is a wonderful place where people come to be helped constructively and not judged.

Have to say...I agree. Debt is debt - spending more than you earn, simple as that. Doesn't matter what it was spent on.

I regret getting into debt although personally, I enjoyed what I spent it on (travel), I just wish I'd been a little more careful on how I borrowed the money.

Ali-OK

Everyone's individual - yes, those who were/are in debt is the common link, however how we got there could be down to many, many factors...self employment/own business not taking off, separation/divorce, job loss, new job lower salary, long term illness, etc, etc.

I think it takes alot of courage to (a) post for the first time, (b) put up your SOA and (c) keep those debts in your sig, but you know, alot of that is down to the excellent, supportive people of this site and the other key thing is that we want to learn for our debt free future.

We all have to start somewhere from our rock bottom and lightbulb moment. So no, I don't judge anyone by their sig.

Chell

WE don't have debt, we owe a little on our credit card and a loan to Mother Outlaw for our car but its within our means so I don't consider it as debt.

My partner has friends who have £30k+ of debts but manage holidays abroad, new cars, designer clothes, all the latest gadgets etc.

We scrimp to ensure we don't get into debt and wouldn't consider it but sometimes I wonder who is right and who is wrong. Will it catch up with them one day? It seems other people are having all the fun while we sit at home with very few clothes, terrestrial TV only, rarely eat out etc.

I guess reading this forum has shown me how hard it is when it does catch up with people. I haven't explained myself very well in this post.

shellsuit

I don't judge anyone by what they owe.

Everyone has different circumstances as to why they are struggling, like loss of job/redundancy/hours which are cut/seperating from a partner etc etc

cattie

mintymoneysaver wrote:

I am probably going to get shot down in flames, and I do admire people so much for what they are doing to get out of it, but it just goes to show what a judgemental person I am...

In life we are all judgemental in one way or another, for we are only human, so don't feel that you are a lesser person in any way.

I admire your honesty & also your sense in not spending money on designer clothes that you feel you can't afford. You are on the right road.

tyllwyd

I'm a bit of an odd one out here, because my husband and I are not in debt to anywhere near the extent that many people are, so sometimes I do feel smug - but then other times I think There for the Grace of God go I, because we have not always made the best decisions, and we have had times when we have really struggled not to fall behind. Coming here opens my eyes to what would happen if we don't get control of things - I've only been on MSE for a few weeks but I've learnt a lot about money-saving options from everyone here.

mrcow

I can honestly say that no I don't do that.

I know that it's bad though......but I do read some of the sigs and think "I'm so glad I'm not you".

I know it's terrible, but sometimes you see sigs like "Debt free 2015" and I really feel for them.


I do get a bit judgemental though when someone says that they are trying their best to solve a debt problem, and then refuses to get rid of Sky TV (but that's just me!).

Chortle_2

I am actually fascinated to see how/why other people got into debt. (clearly I am just incredibly nosy!)

I do sometimes wonder to myself how someone could have justified something to themselves etc, but then, I can't talk :rotfl:

I try not to judge as such, but to some extent, I think it is human nature. We all have our own sets of values, and whilst I would never have spent a fortune on designer clothes or the like, I have spent rather too much on technology, gadgets and travel over the years, which someone else might not see the attraction of.