Mums worried what'll happen when she dies.

RAS

athensgeorgia wrote: »

To make it worse shes only gone and told me apart from paying off the mortgage from the money my brother borrowd shes left everything to me as i'm the only one she says who's been loyal. This makes me feel even worse now as if my siblings didn't already treat me differently this is only gonna seperate us even more

Firstly, what is in the will may or may not be what she says, so do not woory too much.

Secondly, once she has died, the beneficaries of the will have the right to alter the will if they wish. it has to be agreed by ALL the beneficaries but there would be nothing to stop you make some payments to other family members from the estate if you so wished. My mother said she had cut one of my siblings out of her will and the other one and I agreed that if she had, we would vary the will and reinstate the three way split. As it happens, she never got round to it.

Poppy9

I might be way off the mark here but is your mother trying to buy your loyalty by telling you that you are the sole beneficiary of her will etc.?

One of my elderly aunts was trying to do this. She was estranged from her only child for over 25 years and the only people looking after her welfare were myself, my sisters and a cousin. She kept telling people individually that they were the sole beneficiary of her estate (probably about £100k) but was using each person and "forgetting" to pay them for things she wanted and even the weekly shop. None of us wanted or needed the money we just couldn't leave and elderly, housebound relative rot.

She wanted to move into sheltered accommodation and sold her house and moved. Suddenly DD is back on the scene smelling the cash and we were all told to get lost as her DD is now the sole beneficiary. My aunt thinks her money gives her power but quite honestly we are all very glad to walk away as the woman was so damn rude and nasty. We are alll happier now we have no responsibilty for this woman, I wonder if she is so happy now only have her DD in her life? I doubt it as mother and daughter cut from the same mould.

athensgeorgia

Poppy9 wrote: »

I might be way off the mark here but is your mother trying to buy your loyalty by telling you that you are the sole beneficiary of her will etc.?

Not at all i'm the one suggesting she reevaluate things.

My mums mortgage is on her house but she doesn't pay anything towards it so even though its in her and my brothers names and she is legally responsible it doesn't come out of her income.

I think my mum just needs the reassurance that she can rely on not being abandoned by people who are supposed to love her when she needs them to be looking out for her welfare.

KK22_2

As others have said, you should definitely look into getting power of attorney now. A lot of people put this off as they don't think they'll need it for some time, but it's better to sort that now while your mum is still able to.

Ultimately, your mum's will is what she wants and she should have it her way. It's such a shame that she has to worry about money grabbers reappearing once she's gone. She should be enjoying her life now, rather than worrying.

Although you might not think you are strong enough to stand up to your older siblings, there is not much they can really do. Do you honestly think they would kick the door down when your mother passed? If yes, then get some stronger locks/door etc now. Good luck!

kindofagilr

Also if you became POA now and inform the Department for Working Pensions (DWP) (you have to send in a copy of the docs and complete forms DPGEN and POD1257) they will input you on the system as POA for your mam.

Then all contact with regards to your mam's State Pension and Pension Credit will be dealt with by yourself.

Then when your mother passes on (sorry I cant think of a better way of saying it, its not a nice subject) all your details will be held on their systems and any monies owed with regards to SP will be dealt with by you.

athensgeorgia

I looked at the website for the POA and shes decided to see a solicitor about it make sure its all done properly. Gonna ring mum in abit to tell her about the DWP having a copy and what it means, shes not well atm the arthuritis (sp?) is playing up.

kindofagilr

Aww bless her, also if your mam cant afford a POA then you can ring the DWP and ask them for a local service visit as you wish to become appointee for her.

Being a appointee is only useful for DWP things though, like you would be in charge of all her benefits etc, but you wouldnt be in charge of her bank account like you would be with a POA

athensgeorgia

My mum does keep mentioning whoever controls the birth certificate controls everything else e.g cancelling bills, closing bank accounts, which is bothering me that i won't be there to receive it and it'll all go to pot from there iyswim.

Savvy_Sue

It is possible that someone with a death certificate could start claiming from bank accounts etc, especially if they claimed there wasn't a will. There is a horror story here, but as you can see, a good executor is not left powerless should this happen. It's just a lot of stress you could do without!

However if you wanted some advice on how your mum can avoid being taken advantage of now, Action on Elder Abuse might be able to help.