Mums worried what'll happen when she dies.

bunty109

My nan got an enduring power of attorney done which allowed me to decide what should happen to her should she become incapacitated. Sadly, I did have to invoke it, but it meant I could make financial decision and decisions about care homes etc. Your mum could do something like that and your sisters would have no say over her care/finances in the future.

athensgeorgia

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Your mother might well want to arrange a lasting power of attorney; see http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/ . It costs a bit but it means that if she ever becomes unable to look after herself, the people she appoints will decide her care, not the rest of the family.

Expect a fair bit of anger from other family members who think they should be attorneys and you still have to stand your ground. I had to tell both my siblings to butt out as they had no legal authority to take the actions they wanted, and that in other cases I was forbidden to take actions they proposed. But being able to say this is the legal situation, I am doing what I have to do in law and what you are proposing is illegal helps.

This is exactly what we wanted to know now i've told mum she feels tons better about what to do. She gets Guarantee pension credit so i think she might be able to get some sort of legal aid.

I told her to sell her house to one of those companys who give you a low price but you get to live in it indefinately and stuff the lot of them lol, but shes not convinced.

newcook

I think its disgraceful that she got told its eating into inheritance!!!!

I have said to my mom many times that I would rather her spend her money on herself and my stepdad to the day she dies than worry about scrimping and saving and what she is going to leave people.

RAS

athensgeorgia wrote: »

I told her to sell her house to one of those companys who give you a low price but you get to live in it indefinately and stuff the lot of them lol, but shes not convinced.

Please do not do that as she would probably get a very low value and she could be evicted after as little as 6 months. ( I am hoping you are joking but in case).

athensgeorgia

RAS wrote: »

Please do not do that as she would probably get a very low value and she could be evicted after as little as 6 months. ( I am hoping you are joking but in case).

I was joking tbh, when i was talking to my mum yesterday i mentioned again that she shouldn't have to worry about this especially when i'm expecting her to be here for many more years. To make it worse shes only gone and told me apart from paying off the mortgage from the money my brother borrowd shes left everything to me as i'm the only one she says who's been loyal. This makes me feel even worse now as if my siblings didn't already treat me differently this is only gonna seperate us even more but tbh i think if we didn't have my mum linking us these certainly wouldn't be the sort of people i'd be associating with.

Newcook this is only one of the many nice things my sister says to my mum. Which is whhy i was led here to reassure mum that she can't do all the things she threatens to.

lesley1960

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Your mother might well want to arrange a lasting power of attorney; see http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/ . It costs a bit but it means that if she ever becomes unable to look after herself, the people she appoints will decide her care, not the rest of the family.

Expect a fair bit of anger from other family members who think they should be attorneys and you still have to stand your ground. I had to tell both my siblings to butt out as they had no legal authority to take the actions they wanted, and that in other cases I was forbidden to take actions they proposed. But being able to say this is the legal situation, I am doing what I have to do in law and what you are proposing is illegal helps.

However the Power of Attorney becomes null and void after death

margaretclare

Bit of confusion here.

You said your Mum is on guaranteed pension credit. That's a means-tested benefit for the very poor. You also mentioned 'inheritance'. What inheritance???

It is not possible for a relative to 'put someone into a home'. Everyone has free will, freedom of choice, and cannot be 'put' anywhere unless she wishes.

athensgeorgia

margaretclare wrote: »

You said your Mum is on guaranteed pension credit. That's a means-tested benefit for the very poor. You also mentioned 'inheritance'. What inheritance???
QUOTE]

She gets 65p a week pension credit on top of her state pension. The inheritance is her house and contents. The house was valued a few months ago at 147k minus the 30k mortgage for my brother.

RAS

lesley1960 wrote: »

However the Power of Attorney becomes null and void after death

Yes but it stops the lovely sister putting mum on a home because athensgeorgia (possibly) would the the decision maker if mum became unable to look after herself. Once the family get that in their skulls, it will be easier for them all to deal with the fact that some of the family are executors and some have no rights.

margaretclare

Thanks for the clarification. So we are talking about a house with possible value £117K after deduction of £30K to brother. Is mum paying this mortgage out of her meagre income???

You don't mention her age, although you say you hope she'll be here for many years to come.

Contents - usually house contents are of little monetary value, all second-hand goods which don't fetch a lot if sold. Most people have 'sentimental value only' type of items, unless there are any valuable pictures, furniture, diamonds hidden away! Nevertheless it is a horrible thought that anyone can come barging in and take things without permission and without any consideration or respect, either for the deceased or for those who did love her and care for her.

A better suggestion than selling the house and renting it back - not to be recommended!! - would be to consider equity release, which is called a 'lifetime mortgage'. With this, you pay off the mortgage only after death. Interest rolls-up during the person's lifetime.

We did this in 2003 to pay off our existing mortgage which would have continued until we're 83. Have a look at: https://www.ship-ltd.org

The beauty of this is that your Mum get rid of that £30K mortgage and it would be off her mind. She needn't tell any of the others, but because of the interest rolling-up, there would be less to inherit.