if someone resigns can dwp make them sell house?

Dora_the_Explorer_5

I have no difficulties with your opinion, you're are entitled to it. It's your crude language

For want of a better phrase, if you open both legs, you pay for it.

and are needlessly offensive

It seems you posted and then expected others to kiss your feet.

I've reported you to abuse and am happy to do so again if you continue to post on this topic using the language and discourtesy you have shown other posters so far.

Ember999

RACHIE77 wrote:

I'm sorry, i really didnt mean to offend I was just responding to the other threads who had asked/assumed I was a single mum, I do have friends who are single parents and I do appreciate how hard it is, I was just using that as an example as the people I know get to (rightly so) spend time with their kids whereas it seems if you have a partner then you have to work every hour god can send to pay the bills!! The goverment seem so keen on helping people go back to work but not to spend a year or so with their kids while they are tiny!! Like I also said I am not envious at all. I don't know where you got that idea from.

My point wasn't critising at all about the situations that people are in and I don't have any problems with 'paying in to the pot' for 11 YEARS (read thread properly) to help other people out who need it, I just wanted to know if I could spend time with my kids TOO!!!!!! Of course a single mum who IS working wouldn't receieve benefits either - Did I say that was the case, I'm sorry if I did!! No, I Said that "the criteria you need to get help these days is to be a single mum who doesn't want to work! ?" AND sadly that is the blatant TRUTH.


I really am sorry for coming on to this thread and asking a question only to get mis-understood and shot down in flames, I am sorry for loving my kids and wanting to spend time with them. I guess I should just sit in the box the government has put me in and go to work like a good little girl and be constantly broke and have to pick my son up off the floor in tears every day cos he doesn't want me to leave him all the time and go to a crappy job that i dont want to do just because thats what I am supposed to do. I hope that everyone else enjoys seeing their kids grow up that is able to!!

I wasn't after handouts, just trying to re-arrange my life so that I still work and get to see my kids too, I will be exhausted I am sure but hey, surely someone can come on here and criticise me for that too!

Hon, I think you should be able to stay at home with your kids, full time! Not even work part-time. I had a mother who worked full-time all my childhood. She was a workaholic area manager who lived for her job. I as a child had to be an unpaid, unwilling childminder to my 2 younger sisters (who I grew to hate as I had to sacrifice my childhood to bring them up) and I was 'not allowed' to go out as a teenager as I had to 'babysit' my sisters. Anytime I needed my mother I was told to 'go away, I am busy' etc. She was always busy. My only vision of her was of a fat, mean faced woman sitting on the sofa with piles of paperwork telling me to go way with an annoyed scowl on her face. Needless to say, I grew to hate her, my parents as a whole, especially my sisters and my life. I left home at 17 with a bin-bag stuffed with clothes and I have not bothered with them ever since. I wish I had had a mother who stayed at home and had loved me and cared for me. I was brought up in a designer house on a designer estate with parents with designer money. I had the worst childhood you can imagine. I left with only a bin-bag full of clothes as my money-obsessed mother deemed my posessions didn't belong to me, they were hers as she bought them! You get the picture?

I think the saddest thing about life today is all the latch-key kids. Children shouldn't be in day care, nurseries, or with child-minders, they should be with their MOTHER! Kids today are rude, hostile, violent and bad-mannered due to not being brought up in safe, secure loving homes. They are born, farmed out to other carers who charge money to look after them and their poor parents are both forced out to work by a government who want everybody working and no one looking after their kids.

If you can find a way to stay home and give your kids the love they crave and need, you do that! Don't have them grow up like I did.

Ember xx

RACHIE77

Thanks Ember for your help, I wish I could afford to stay at home with the kids and I hate leaving them every day... Thankfully they are mostly with family and friends so I dont feel TOO bad but its such a catch 22 situation for me at the mo... I only work part time and take lots of holiday and arrange to go out with the kids for special days so that I do spend time with them but my heart is wrenched apart simply because I must go to work to pay the bills and survive. I really have no option as without my income (as well as OHs) we wouldn't have a house etc. I used to babysit for a local family when I was younger as mum and dad worked all week and weekends too and the kids used to cry to me that they didnt want their fancy house, just to see their mummy now and then... I don't want it to be that way here.

I didnt mention it before but I may be able to work at a care home a couple of night shifts a week so that I will still get an income and still be able to spend time with the kids... I am determined to sort this whole thing out as its not causing happiness for anyone at the mo... Thanks for your advice, it has given me a bit of an uplift in thinking I am right in considering changing my job...

Rachie

Ember999

RACHIE77 wrote:

Thanks Ember for your help, I wish I could afford to stay at home with the kids and I hate leaving them every day... Thankfully they are mostly with family and friends so I dont feel TOO bad but its such a catch 22 situation for me at the mo... I only work part time and take lots of holiday and arrange to go out with the kids for special days so that I do spend time with them but my heart is wrenched apart simply because I must go to work to pay the bills and survive. I really have no option as without my income (as well as OHs) we wouldn't have a house etc. I used to babysit for a local family when I was younger as mum and dad worked all week and weekends too and the kids used to cry to me that they didnt want their fancy house, just to see their mummy now and then... I don't want it to be that way here.

I didnt mention it before but I may be able to work at a care home a couple of night shifts a week so that I will still get an income and still be able to spend time with the kids... I am determined to sort this whole thing out as its not causing happiness for anyone at the mo... Thanks for your advice, it has given me a bit of an uplift in thinking I am right in considering changing my job...

Rachie

Your children are lucky Rachie, you sound like a very good, loving mum. You do what's right for you and your babies, how you love and care for them now will affect the rest of their lives. The rest home job sounds promising and you would still get the money you need whilst still being able to be a stay-a-home mum. I wish you all the best. Don't let anyone on here upset you.

Ember xx

helen21_2

Rachie, take the advice that helps you and ignore the bits that dont. I am a single mum of two and bloody proud of it too, i dont give a flying pancake what others think i should be doing, i put in 24/7 care to both my children and we struggle by on the benefits we get and no i wouldnt change my life so i could be in employment as the day i fell pregnant with my son i chose to care 24/7 for him whilst my "then partner" chose to provide on the financial part which he no longer chooses to do, thankfully he can only make his choices for him as god knows where we would end up.

Good luck to you and your family in whatever choices you make XX

RACHIE77

Thanks Ember and Helen, I just want to be the best mum I possibly can be to my kids and feel I am missing out on spending time with them and its hurting like hell... I am lucky to have such lovely kids and just don't want to look back in 10 years time and wonder where the time went....

I really want out now and know I need to sit down with a pen and paper and work out how things gonna work out if everything changed round here. I can't put a price on my kids happiness and thats what gets to me cos it seems I am being asked to make a comprimise at the moment!

Helen, I know how you feel to be proud of what you have achieved, I dont think it matters if you are a single mum or one with ten husbands, if the cash flow is tight and you make sure your kids have everything they need with a bucket load of love on top then you have a right to be pleased!!

I think I need to do some sums now..... Oh gawd I hate sums! :eek:

helen21_2

RACHIE77 wrote:

Thanks Ember and Helen, I just want to be the best mum I possibly can be to my kids and feel I am missing out on spending time with them and its hurting like hell... I am lucky to have such lovely kids and just don't want to look back in 10 years time and wonder where the time went....

I really want out now and know I need to sit down with a pen and paper and work out how things gonna work out if everything changed round here. I can't put a price on my kids happiness and thats what gets to me cos it seems I am being asked to make a comprimise at the moment!

Helen, I know how you feel to be proud of what you have achieved, I dont think it matters if you are a single mum or one with ten husbands, if the cash flow is tight and you make sure your kids have everything they need with a bucket load of love on top then you have a right to be pleased!!

I think I need to do some sums now..... Oh gawd I hate sums! :eek:

Not going to be around for a bit as Laptop going to be mended but best wishes and good luck in whatever you decide

Scarlett1

RACHIE77 wrote:

I think you have a problem with people who aren't single parents and are bringing up kids.
no thats your nature to be jealous not mine
I iwsh you could see past your bitterness and anger to realise I am actually on your side and do think that single mothers get treated unfairly on occasions and if you read my post I have never criticised nor judged mothers of any type, single or otherwise!! Don't go mouthing off at me when I have said nothing against you love!!! the bitterness is all yours love by reading the above

I had come back to give you some words of encouragement cause whether your are in a relationship or single with kids its hard work, but it seems whatever is said to you, you are going to 'flip your lid' :rolleyes:

Anyways, hope that you you find the result that you want, thats if you are prepared to listen to people who dont agree with you

RACHIE77

Scarlett1 wrote:

I had come back to give you some words of encouragement cause whether your are in a relationship or single with kids its hard work, but it seems whatever is said to you, you are going to 'flip your lid' :rolleyes:

Anyways, hope that you you find the result that you want, thats if you are prepared to listen to people who dont agree with you

Please can you tell me what you don't agree with and I will be more than happy to listen to you??? or even what I have said to offend you?
You don't actually seem to have said anything as far as I can see?

donnalove

This is the problem with the government they are willing to pay you to get someone else to look after your kids but not pay you.
this is there way of getting more money from your tax and ni and the childminders tax and ni.

I think all mothers whether single or married should at least be able to spend the first 5 years at home with there children. They do say these are the most important years.