****Bank Holiday Chat! May 22 and onwards! Whoooop!***

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I don't think she wants this life any more than I do. I honestly think I am being very selfish. She lost the love of her life. She is doing what makes her feel safe. change takes a long time. everything takes a long time.

I need to be a bit more patient. Rome wasn't built in a day.

It is also partly me, it is easy to go along with it all. And then moan about it. I have to make small changes.

You must make changes. The emotional blackmail to stay the same is intense, but maybe the fact that one day you won't be there will jolt your mother into finding other social contact.

But expect that every trick in the book will be tried.

Buffythedebtslayer

scaredy_cat wrote: »

you aren't selfish Buffy. Would she be open to small comprimises at first, to initiate changes?

I shall give it ago Catxx I don't want dinner tomorrow night (!) I'll see how that goes.

xxxx

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I shall give it ago Catxx I don't want dinner tomorrow night (!) I'll see how that goes.

xxxx

And start planning your future. Concrete plans.

(Land_of)_Maz

Doomcow wrote: »

yoyoyo

Doomcow is here. looks like i missed a fair whack!

whats up?

hey doomy my man!

Did you shed a tear today at the WGS news??!??

i was never a strachan basher unlike some, but TBH i think the timiing was about right....

Who's next to the hotseat?

Buffythedebtslayer

Ellidee wrote: »

Buffy - please forgive me for being so blunt - BUT - I feel VERY strongly that you should get a place of your own - even if it's only a bedsit or a room. For your own health and wellbeing - it is more important than dealing with your debt imho. You need to be able to live your own life - be independent- please yourself etc etc. I know it won't be easy and your Mum won't like it but this is YOUR life and you need to put yourself first. XX

Its only what a lot of my friends have said. But I am in too much debt. And I know I couldn't cope with the guilt or the debt. Its the same only thing. I remember Chev saying the same thing to me ages ago.

The facts are that whilst I am in debt this must work for me.

And things have improved in some ways.

thanks guysxxxxx

scaredy_cat

it is hard standing up to your parents, buffy, cos they are your parents!!!

Doomcow

Buffy... you're right - Rome wasn't built in a day.

Well, what can i say - im not real good at this sort of thing.

we always used to have a "sunday dinner" on sunday and potatoes here and potatoes there and that used to freakin annoy me (silly i know, but its always the small things that get to us most)... when i eventually moved out and in with the OH, i didnt eat potatoes for over a year - now, im realising how much i actually liked them and actually buy them specifically to have my (our) selves.

anyway, we can all give you advice to do this or that or whatnought etc... but i reckon if i you want my tuppence worth, here it is.

dont worry about the guilt-trip - parents are exemplirary at it. masters of said universe, but dont let it worry you. make the small changes - go out for the walk, be late home for dinner - do the aerobics class (or how about walk to the class then walk home and miss out the class?) and get your life on track for the good of yourself - physical and mental well-being.

when your mam realises how much fun you are having and your spirit and your zest for life, she will come around and let you be who you are - want to be. whats more, she might want to jump on that bandwagon and come along!

make the most of yourself - be positive.

System

Good evening all; not read back. Buffy if I may be so bold, and I havent read your OP, but looking at Ellie's post I would say, do not let your debt hold you back, remember the fact that you are getting out of it is setting you free. You've set up the repayment plan so concentrate your energies on something more positive like moving out. Hope I don't sound too necky x

Doomcow

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

hey doomy my man!

Did you shed a tear today at the WGS news??!??

i was never a strachan basher unlike some, but TBH i think the timiing was about right....

Who's next to the hotseat?

tony mowbray possibly!

aye i was a believer in strach, shame but a string of poor results - if it was english premier he woulda been out at new year or before (despite winning 3 of 4 leagues he's been manager for) - the fans, at the end of the day, decide the fate of the manager. it seems.

(Land_of)_Maz

hey len, sorry about the relegation......

we threw the league away up here so doomy and i are in mourning, we have a spare black armband if you need it.......