My Girlsfriends benefit has been refused, I have to cover her expenses?

ceridwen

Just to say I sympathise VeganKris and I hope things work out soon for you.

I agree with you that its a very difficult situation when the DWP expects one to support someone else financially because you are living with/married to them. The finances dont often work out that this is possible in the real world - and anyway everyone is supposed to be financially self-supporting arent they? So I know exactly where you are coming from.

Unfortunately - the law at present treats personal relationships as business relationships in this respect...and I'm afraid I cant see it changing any time soon - even though the powers-that-be know very well that many people are lying about being in "partnerships" because of this.....

I took the view that one of the reasons I've always been single (in every sense of the word) was precisely for the reasons you are being hit with at the moment - so that the DWP would never expect me to cover someone ELSE's living costs. I dont object to covering my own - indeed I expect to...

alwaysonthego_2

ceridwen wrote: »

Just to say I sympathise VeganKris and I hope things work out soon for you.

I agree with you that its a very difficult situation when the DWP expects one to support someone else financially because you are living with/married to them. The finances dont often work out that this is possible in the real world - and anyway everyone is supposed to be financially self-supporting arent they? So I know exactly where you are coming from.

Unfortunately - the law at present treats personal relationships as business relationships in this respect...and I'm afraid I cant see it changing any time soon - even though the powers-that-be know very well that many people are lying about being in "partnerships" because of this.....

I took the view that one of the reasons I've always been single (in every sense of the word) was precisely for the reasons you are being hit with at the moment - so that the DWP would never expect me to cover someone ELSE's living costs. I dont object to covering my own - indeed I expect to...

So what you are saying is that a gf/dw of a millionaire should be able to claim means tested benefits if they are not working and a SAHM has to support herself through the help of the tax payers because her finances are seperated from her dh's.

AsknAnswer

ceridwen wrote: »

Just to say I sympathise VeganKris and I hope things work out soon for you.

I agree with you that its a very difficult situation when the DWP expects one to support someone else financially because you are living with/married to them. The finances dont often work out that this is possible in the real world - and anyway everyone is supposed to be financially self-supporting arent they? So I know exactly where you are coming from.

Unfortunately - the law at present treats personal relationships as business relationships in this respect...and I'm afraid I cant see it changing any time soon - even though the powers-that-be know very well that many people are lying about being in "partnerships" because of this.....

I took the view that one of the reasons I've always been single (in every sense of the word) was precisely for the reasons you are being hit with at the moment - so that the DWP would never expect me to cover someone ELSE's living costs. I dont object to covering my own - indeed I expect to...

That bit in bold. Since when is living on benefits self supporting? It's not. Posts like this really bug me. Not you, the OP's - They don't see why they should support their partners, but think it's perfectly ok to expect the state to do so (or to put it more bluntly; everyone else who pays tax). The question should not be Why should you support your partner, but Why shouldn't you support your partner? and, why wouldn't you want to? Then when they realise that yes, they are expected to, it's always the same response.....either "I'll just lie and tell them we've split up" or "should we lie about it?" - No, you should not. Not only would it land you in the deep stuff if caught, but it is dishonest and morally wrong. It's also one of the main reasons our taxes are so damned high, because so many people fraudulently claim. Despite the common saying, rules are not there to be broken. They are there to set the limits and should be adhered to, and for bloody good reason.

Means tested benefits are means tested for a reason. Yes, some people are worse off depending upon the area they reside in. For example, someone living in the hustle bustle of busy London would have significantly higher living expenses or than someone living in rural Keilder. There again, if you lived very remotely, travelling expenses to interviews could prove costly. However, in order to be fair to everyone, the benefits system has to have a national limit, regardless of the area a person chooses to reside.

Some EU nationals have to be self sufficent. They have a right to be here, but they must be self sufficient and cannot collect on means tested benefit.

Benefit rates, thresholds and legislations are pulished all over the place, there aren't any secrets. If you are in a partnership, then part of that partnership is supporting each other through troubled times, that includes financially troubled times.

Marriage doesn't come into it for many government organisations. Crikey, co-habiting couples (both homosexual and heterosexual) complained loud and long enough that they were not getting treated the same way by government organisations as married couples, nor receiving the same recognition. Now that they are treated the same, they realise the grass isn't always as green as it seemed over there on the other side of the fence. Can't win.

Oldernotwiser

ceridwen wrote: »

I took the view that one of the reasons I've always been single (in every sense of the word) was precisely for the reasons you are being hit with at the moment - so that the DWP would never expect me to cover someone ELSE's living costs. I dont object to covering my own - indeed I expect to...

Has it been worth it? I wouldn't want to run my life on this basis.

thorsoak

ceridwen wrote: »

when the DWP expects one to support someone else financially because you are living with/married to them. The finances dont often work out that this is possible in the real world .

It's called life ......when we had our children, my OH supported me - and the children - with child benefit paying less than £10 per week for 4 children. When he was sick, I went to work and supported us. That's what you do when you love someone - you don't expect the state to pick up the tab just because you've got a big mortgage/bills!

vegankris

AsknAnswer wrote: »

Since when is living on benefits self supporting? It's not. Posts like this really bug me. Not you, the OP's - They don't see why they should support their partners, but think it's perfectly ok to expect the state to do so (or to put it more bluntly; everyone else who pays tax). .

My partner has paid tax and national insurance on his wages at a substantial rate for many, many years, and will start paying again as soon as he finds another job, so if you look at it that way, essentially it is self-supporting. Surely he too should be entitled to help in his hour of need?

Oldernotwiser

vegankris wrote: »

Surely he too should be entitled to help in his hour of need?

Of course he should; I'm just amazed that you don't think that you should be the one to do this.

vegankris

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Of course he should; I'm just amazed that you don't think that you should be the one to do this.

If I could actually afford to, then it wouldn't be a problem. What part of that don't you get?

I'm only employed part-time on minimum wage! As soon as I get that second job that makes my hours up to full time, I wouldn't expect any help anymore, as I'd be on an extremely tight budget but we'd manage.

Oldernotwiser

vegankris wrote: »

If I could actually afford to, then it wouldn't be a problem. What part of that don't you get?

I'm only employed part-time on minimum wage! As soon as I get that second job that makes my hours up to full time, I wouldn't expect any help anymore, as I'd be on an extremely tight budget but we'd manage.

So WE have to support him because YOU choose to work part time?

vegankris

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

So WE have to support him because YOU choose to work part time?

I am looking for another job!!!:mad: Can't you read?????

Jobs are like gold dust in this economy, full time jobs even more so.