MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you put £10 in Kitty's birthday kitty?

jules99

This is something I have been getting increasingly annoyed about at my workplace. I am a part time administrative assistant in the HR office. Other admin staff in one office have decided amongst themselves to collect for admin staff's birthdays and therefore an email comes around to selected admin staff. I have never contributed and ignore the emails (but tempted to reply to say no). The reason I have never contributed is that I disagree with collecting for birthdays. The other reason is that the admin staff who send these emails don't have a list of birthdays of ALL admin staff, just a select few so when it comes around to my birthday there is no email that goes around. I'm not saying I don't contribute because noone does me, it's just the whole thing hasn't been thought out. I don't work as part of a team with the other admin staff, I work in a separate office in HR (part time), so some of the staff I know by name but have never had a conversation with or only talk to briefly in passing.

Last year they collected for someone's 30th and she had loads of presents but when it was my 40th a few year's before, no one acknowledged it (having said that, there have been new admin staff started who are more into collecting).

Emails inviting to contribute towards leavers etc are also received but again, I don't have anything to do with the people involved and often, when lack of responses to emails, they come around with the collection and ask directly. This really winds me up and I have ocasionally refused, saying 'don't really know them' and have said no a few times to people with sponsor forms for their children (don't agree with this at all as it puts pressure on people and I have a daughter myself who I/family sponsor and would never ask work colleagues to contribute)

Sorry this is got long. It's something I wish there was a policy about. I had a word with HR manager and she said it's not something they would not do a policy on. She has agreed with me on occasions but has always put money in (often a fiver) because she is the sort of person who would rather be liked than make a fuss. Unfortunately, I'm not like that and am probably talked about.

I always buy for the HR manager who is the only person I work with in an office and enjoy doing this (we are a team).

So the answer is no I definetly wouldn't contribute £10 to someone I didn't know well.

time_traveller_3

No, I'd be as embarassed as hell if someone did it for me. When its my birthday I'll get the cakes in.

freddy27

Absolutley no way I would put £10 in. I worked for forty years with the same company. Never heard of such rot. Only thing we ever did was the person whose birthday it was bought cream cakes (politically incorrect now I guess) What I hear is pressure being brought to bear, not a good sign.

freddy27

chilli_cymru wrote: »

A similar thing happened at work recently - there are only a few of us and I am the latest arrival but I have been there just over a year. Everyone else has been there for years - even decades! One of the staff is having their fortieth and we were all "invited" to contribute £35. The smaller the firm, the less able you are to really say no - so I have coughed up but it feels so excessive. I don't spend that on some of my friends and family!!!

You must be completely mad. If you are a friend of this person, buy him/her a pint nothing more.

freddy27

Reverbe wrote: »

Here here. Now I am aware that this anecdote may make me a social pariah round here but here goes... I never never give to Children In Need. Now people will say but it's the kiddies and they need our help etc etc.. Reason being my father was a headteacher and he told us one day that he knew for a fact one school in his area had been given some money by Children In Need and what had they spent this donation on?..... a kettle, toaster and microwave for the staff room. :mad::eek::eek:

Sorry but since then I never give to them and prefer to support the likes of Great Ormond Street Hospital when giving to children's charities. At least then I know my money will be going to help those who are truly in need and a cause that does some amazing work.

I also never give to "Children in Need" They and ALL the other childrens charities seem to me get far too much already. Try reducing their numbers!!!

mr-tom_2

Here's an interesting variation, and much more relevant in the current climate.

The axe has been swung and most of your colleagues are losing your jobs. You're the last person left in your team and are hanging on by the skin of your teeth. You're fairly certain that it's only a matter of time before you go too.

Your colleagues have always contributed to gifts for people leaving and all the more so when it's been redundancy and they've not got a job to go to.

How generously do you give?

Phuddles

I started a new job 11 months ago, we have 7 people in our team & spend about £10 between the 7. I was asked if I wanted to join in, absolutely no pressure to give. At Christmas there is a Secret Santa, to spend £5 on one gift for a nominated person. Instead of Christmas cards we gave to a charity. All very fair and equitable, I think. I have to say I had two big birthdays at my last job and my colleagues did a collection on both occasions, which was very nice, but again no pressure on anyone.

cornishsongbird

Hi in our office (10 people) I am the one who always buys the card and gets people to sign it for birthdays, leavers etc. I also buy a small present, wine or flowers, usually about £20. Some people ask if they can contribute and give me a couple of pounds, but others never do - just accept the thanks of the person whose birthday it is! I'm quite happy about this as it's my choice - BUT last month I was quite hurt as no-one remembered my birthday, so no card - consequently I didnt buy any cakes either.

primrose_the_dog

no - I am 50 in a couple of weeks and have a new colleague. I would be mortified if I felt someone would badger her for money for a present for me.

edinburgher

I very much doubt that more than 10% of us would be so daft as to contribute £10 of money that we hadn't even earned yet for someone we barely knew.

Thankfully the wasteful ways of the last decade appear to be going by the wayside somewhat and people are wising up to the fact that money is real and can make a tangible difference when spent foolishly.

Having paid into collections for quite a few years, any more than £2-5 (for a particularly respected colleague) would seem ott and I've certainly never been unlucky enough to work somewhere where there was a suggested donation.

I know that this is purely hypothetical, but a suggested donation would say a lot about the individual doing the collection more than anything else