Problems with Stepson

Reds-on-Sea

Aw, you sound amazing Smellyoldsock! Just wanted to say that.

SmellyOldSock

Many thanks for your replies.

My husbands ex-wife is a very strong minded woman (not always a bad thing) but is very much 'my way or no way' attitude. I find her very difficult to get on with at times. She likes to be in control all the time, and with my stepson she has lost that.

I appreciate what you say Anguk, but I don't want her interfering in how my home and family is run and I'm sure she wouldn't want me doing the same to her!

Having a haircut is not a 'treat' its part of life, its part of looking smart and having respect for yourself. My other kids see it as a pushiment!

He earnt his mobile phone top-up, he worked with me, and helped me. I don't go giving out money etc lightly, they all have to earn it, even the younger 3. He has chores to do at his mums, and coz he hasn't been doing them he didn't get top-up. But he done what was expected off him with me so he did.

It is hard for him to be in one home with one lot of house rules and then in another with different. But I'm not willing to turn my home into hers and she wouldn't want hers like ours!

I believe I'm doing right with him, it may come back and bite me on the butt, so be it. But I give him my time, my love and the space to be himself, to make friends without vetting them first, to feel happy and secure. If thats wrong, then I'm a naff parent all round!

Blackpool_Saver

I am so glad you are able to help, my son has ADHD and has done all the things you describe. It is well known that a change of scene can calm ADHD (ie the visits to your house) this is why it often does not present at the drs surgery.
My sons behaviour balance improved greatly after a slight increase in medication, what meds is your boy on?

SmellyOldSock

My stepson has had an interview with Social Services, and was verbally abusive towards the poor lady! It is awful his behaviour in that house and we're very concerned about him.

The Social Worker will no longer visit the house without a male Social Worker.

I can't believe this is the same child. My husband and I have decided to press for a meeting with the Social Workers ourselves, and we hope that they will help him to come live with us, even for a short while.

His mum is at a loss what to do, he has again hit out at her. Why is he like that with her? He came in to me on Friday and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me. He then went to the younger children and cuddled all of them, he calls my daughter his baby girl, and she smiles and laughs with him. The boys adore their big bro, and he is so great with them, he wrestles with them after dinner, while I run them a bath, and is so caring.

I have chatted to his mum, and she finds it quite hard to believe, which I can understand! I'm just so scared for him, and what he'll do.

lynzpower

His mum is at a loss what to do, he has again hit out at her. Why is he like that with her?

theres no point asking us, but have you spoken to him?

There might be something much bigger and much deeper going on with them, that you dont know about....

mrcow

SmellyOldSock wrote: »

His mum is at a loss what to do, he has again hit out at her. Why is he like that with her? He came in to me on Friday and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me.

It could well be all for show. Kids aren't stupid.

We often hurt the ones we love the most. Perhaps it's because he knows in his heart that as his mum, she'll always be there for him and will unconditonally love him no matter what he says or how awful he is to her.

You on the other hand can chuck him back at her as soon as he sets a foot wrong. He's not likely to screw that up too badly in the early stages.