MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a £50 train seat for a pregnant woman?

avstar

I stopped reading these moral dilemmas for a while because they made me so angry, sad and disappointed with people on this forum.
Stupidly I got drawn into this one from Martin's email and it's no different, there are some really selfish, uncaring people on here.

Of course I would give up my seat to someone who was heavily pregnant, also anyone old, frail or disabled. What's happened to society where we don't look after people more vulnerable than ourselves?

And I know how awful this scenario can be, having been heavily pregnant on a crowded bus in rush hour traffic, standing & clinging onto the hand rail for dear life while everyone avoided my eye. My parents brought me up better than this.

And yes I've worked all my life so not a sponger thanks!

shonarose

The small-minded views on this forum make depressing reading.
If you knew how physically, mentally and emotionally demanding life is when you are heavily pregnant, you should be ashamed of yourselves for not offering help. Frankly, she would have to have an important reason to travel at short notice otherwise she wouldnt have considered making the trip. Its got NOTHING to do with the money, or "teaching her a lesson about pre-booking" - its to do with being a decent human being. And for those who think its nothing to do with them because they don't intend to have children - well, you all had MOTHERS, didnt you? Who sacrificed 9 months of her life to carry you. Wouldnt you hope that someone might have shown some compassion towards her?
And where does this attitude come from that all mothers are "spongers"? What utter ignorance.

pickles2507

I was brought up to respect older people and to do the right thing. I would definately give up my seat for this woman. And hope that she says thanks.

Did this a few weeks ago for an old woman who got on train and she looked at me said yes. No thank you or anything, I didn't have to give up my seat however I chose to be nice and she chose not to be.

Manners cost nothing and even after bad examples like this I would still give up my seat every time, so I know I did a good thing!!


Maybe one day it will all come back and I might be that person standing needing a seat!!!!!

hislan

robpw2 wrote: »

yes but then you would be lying to your kids .. you would be teaching them to make !!! u me and that would not be a very good thing for you to learn

you can make comments without shouting your mouth off ..

you could also offer your seat .. the best way to teach kids is set an example but no you seem to think that your need for a seat is greater than anyone elses ..

I never said I would 'shout my mouth off', just merely pass comment on others inconsiderate behaviour! Even if nobody acted on that occasion, it may make others on the carriage think about acting next time they are in that situation? (But I guess I'm being hoplessly self-deluded in my wish for a more considerate society if the posts on this thread are anything to go by!)

And yes, I could 'set an example' by quietly giving up my seat (so as to not embarass the other inconsiderate passengers), but surely it is also important for me to teach my children to stand up for those less fortunate / more in need than they are? My mother is physically disabled and I would stand up for her needs (and have done so - politely of course), so why shouldn't I 'stand up' for this womans needs as much as I would my own mothers?

If all we care about is ourselves, then it is a very sad world that we live in!

astonsmummy

Having recently been a heavily pregnant woman, I would give up my seat for one.
During the last 2 months of my prengnacy I was in agony whatever I done, walking, sitting, lying, everything, so I can totally sympathise.

whosforachat

If she was disabled or old then I would, but pregnancy is (usually) a choice and I am sure she would not like to think she was imposing the results of her choice on me. Would you offer your seat to a very fat person? It must be very uncomfortable for them to stand too.

Anyway, what if you got it wrong and she really was just fat?

ThinkingOfLinking

Stampede wrote: »

Short answer: Yes.

Life is now so needlesly complicated by PC considerations, I come from a time when it was normal to walk on the outside, hold doors open - not just for ladies, give up your seat, smile, say 'please' and 'thank you', always write promptly to Aunties & Uncles and acknowledge my birthday pressies. etc. etc. and yes I have noticed some people seem insulted and respond offensively to these gestures .. it is such a shame.

Back to the dilemma, is it really a dilemma as my first inclination would be to offer my seat regardless of what others might or might not do, and even if I think some one fitter than me should have done so first. I don't know their circumstances.

There is an additional point, and I'm a little rusty on the law but I seem to recall that the Occupiers Liability Act applies to railway carriages. Essentially this is legislation that says your premises must be safe for visitors ( and incidentally also even for trespassers ). Also I was told ( is it true ) that in circumstances of overcrowding a guard has the power to down grade a first class carriage and make it available to the huddled masses. Putting these things to-gether I'd probably give up my seat and move to first class and challenge the train company to take action with my defence being I must anticipate, mitigate and remove myself from obvious dangers posed by their overcrowding, obstructive cases and bags in the aisles etc. Take a few photos as well as evidence. I might even explain this to the pregnant lady so she could decide if she prefer going first class herself - if she understandably didn't then bring it on .. no pun intended but some one has to stand up against being treated like cattle when we travel.

:j Totally debt free - just normal normal every day taxes & utility bills.
Alway pay my card off in full.

That's true...I've been on super-packed trains and they've freed up First Class.

reallifewitch

let me guess - the people saying 'I paid for this seat - I'm keeping it' have never been heavily pregnant.

Funnily enough, when I was heavily pregnant and in a lot of pain with hip trouble, the only person that ever stood up for me was an old lady.

whosforachat

reallifewitch wrote: »

let me guess - the people saying 'I paid for this seat - I'm keeping it' have never been heavily pregnant.

Funnily enough, when I was heavily pregnant and in a lot of pain with hip trouble, the only person that ever stood up for me was an old lady.

Given that you had chosen to be pregnant, but she had not chosen to be old, did you accept?

smk77

whosforachat wrote: »

If she was disabled or old then I would, but pregnancy is (usually) a choice and I am sure she would not like to think she was imposing the results of her choice on me. Would you offer your seat for a very fat person? It must be very uncomfortable for them to stand too.

Anyway, what if you got it wrong and she really was just fat?

What's wrong with people on here? She IS NOT imposing her choice on you!!

The dilemma is would you give up your seat for a pregnant women. The woman in this scenario hasn't asked you to stand for her! I think some people on here seem to think that this women is ranting and raving about people not giving up their seat for her and demanding them to do so. She may be standing up and minding her own business quiet happily so don't judge her or say what she should do! If she is pregnant then there is a reasonable chance that she may be tired and needing a seat so would you offer your seat to her? It's a pretty simple question and some of the pathetic reasons for not doing a good deed (and that's all it is!!!) are unbelievable!