when do men not listen to their other halves...

belfastgirl23

OK I think you need to sit down and think this thing through properly. It seems to me that you have a very lengthy list of grievances against your OH or at least these threads seem to pop up pretty often. But nothing ever changes.

It is very easy to see all of the problems with other peoples behaviour without ever looking back at yourself. I guess on this I just wanted to say that maybe your OH feels that he is faced with an endless list of complaints about him, which is pretty demotivating. I also sense a sort of a tone in your posts where you do feel that he should be doing what you tell him. I know from my own OH that the very very last way to get him to do something is to make a big point about telling him to do it. I can get away with 'if you sort the washing I'll do the dishwasher' just about. If it's a bigger thing, I'll present him with three choices, two of which I know he won't like, the third of which is what I want sneaky yes but it means he feels he has a choice but he does what I have figured out to be the best thing.

You need to figure out what strategies will work for your OH. Obviously what you are doing at the minute isn't working. You need to figure out why and take a different tack. Or maybe you need to give up on him.

The other thing is though that there are some things you simply can't change about people and all you can really do is change how you react. It is possible to decide that something will not annoy you any more (ALWAYS doing the washing for example :rolleyes:) because you will get it back in other ways (NEVER brushing the floor ).

Anyway a bit of a ramble but what I'm saying is that you can't really change other people. You can change your strategies for dealing with them, you can change how you react or you can simply remove yourself from the situation. These are your choices....

annie_d

"Anyway a bit of a ramble but what I'm saying is that you can't really change other people. You can change your strategies for dealing with them, you can change how you react or you can simply remove yourself from the situation. These are your choices...."

Perfect! Absolutely sums up the situation

roswell

Deals wrote: »

i keep mentioning things that i say will happen if he does not sort it out. where i can i try and do things but there also comes a stage where i am fed up. then the things i tell him will happen do happen such as him driving too fast and he will get a ticket etc etc.

i do love him, we have a child toghether but i find that he has no notion of anything and i find he is dragging my daughter and i down. Any money i try to earn etc i find he can waste at his end and i have to keep bailing him out. This has been going on for a long time but as we have a daughter together i did not want to harm the relationship for her sake but i feel i cannot take anymore of it all.

i know he wants to do his "own" thing but even though as a friend of mine told me she just gets on with her own life i am finding this very very hard. when does he not listen at all..? i am not askign him to agree with everythign i say but a bit of it would also be the start. this has been affecting our livelihood since we have been toghether. what to do? i am at my wits end. thanks in advance.

Do you want to be his other half or his mother ?

And in responce to your initial question "when do men not listen to their other halves... " when the other half picks fault at everything and nags constantly.